Pregnant Woman Is 'Cut Off' After Planning On Naming Her Baby After Her Sister's Child Who Passed Away Two Years Ago
She thought it would be a good way to honor the passed baby. Her sister did not agree.
zulufoto | Shutterstock Death and grief are strange things. Everyone reacts to them very differently, and what seems like a heartfelt tribute to the dead to one person can feel like a grievous slight to another.
Such is the case for a trio of sisters on Reddit who have come to blows over naming a baby about to join the family.
One sister wants to name her baby after her sister's son, who passed away.
Depending on your sensibilities, you're likely having one of two reactions right now: "Aww" or "What on Earth?" Is it a tribute or a deeply weird, kind of morbid take on a horrifying situation?
Siblings argue over baby names all the time — social media is full of such stories. But this one goes far beyond mere sibling rivalry.
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In her Reddit post, a woman who is the middle sister of three wrote that her older sister and younger sister are no longer speaking after falling out over the youngest's intention to name her son after the eldest's son, who passed.
The entire family is against the idea, but the youngest sister is adamant about her name choice and insists that she's doing nothing wrong by sticking to her guns.
She wants to name her baby after her sister's son as a way to 'honor' his passing at just six months old.
"My older sister lost her son in late 2022," the woman wrote in her Reddit post, "so it hasn't even been two years yet. My [older sister] has been mourning him ever since."
Her sister's baby passed away at just six months old due to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, or SIDS, a somewhat mysterious condition that results in about 2,300 infant deaths per year.
Now, the youngest sister is pregnant and recently told the middle sister, "She plans to name her son the name of my [older sister's] deceased son and keep it a surprise." She wrote that it was obvious her little sister thought this was a heartfelt gesture of honoring the baby who passed.
"But knowing my [older sister], she would be devastated if that happened," the woman wrote, and she told her little sister as much. That conversation quickly turned into an argument, with the youngest sister insisting their older sister would understand.
When told of the plans, the older sister was furious and hurt. But the little sister is insisting upon the baby's name.
Despite having been sworn to secrecy, the middle sister told her older sister, who, as predicted, was outraged. "She said it was incredibly disgusting and selfish to do that, knowing how fresh it is for her and that she does not want to see a baby with her son's name in the family," the woman wrote.
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When she confronted the youngest sister, however, she was anything but understanding. "They argued about it for a while, with everyone in our family siding with my [older sister]." They eventually stopped speaking, and the younger sister blames the middle sister for the dust-up.
But even with all the drama, she is unwilling to budge. "She's STILL going to name her son after our nephew even with my [older sister] begging her not to," the woman wrote. She insists that once the baby's actually here, their older sister will change her mind and "realize it's a good thing."
Losing a baby is hard on everyone in a family, but the mother's wishes and grief have to be respected.
For parents, it is often said that there is no worse experience than losing a child. But the experience impacts everyone in a family, experts say that family conflict frequently arises in the aftermath for precisely the reasons this story illustrates — people grieve in different ways that are often at odds with one another.
It's highly likely that the youngest sister is still grieving, too, in her own way, and that for her, naming her baby after her lost nephew feels healing. That's understandable. But it should go without saying that her older sister's feelings trump her own.
On Reddit, one mom who lost a baby from SIDS a full decade ago said she would still not be okay with someone naming their baby after hers. Another brought up the fact that the eldest sister will spend the rest of her life "receiving invitations to milestone events her son never had a chance to do — graduations, weddings, birthday parties."
Put into that perspective, it's hard to see the youngest sister's actions as anything other than selfish and cruel on a staggering level. Nobody owns a name, of course, but in some conflicts the only decent thing to do is to simply relent.
Hopefully, the youngest sister gets the message because it would be hard to blame her older sister if this ended their relationship.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.