Woman Cries After Realizing Her Narcissistic Parents Gave Her Gifts They Knew Would Purposely Make Her Sad
Breaking intergenerational trauma is always in season.
Ilyasick Photo / Pexels The holidays aren’t always full of joy and cheer. They can often be a breaking point for many people, especially those whose family systems are toxic or dysfunctional. A young woman shared the heartbreaking story of how she spent Christmas, only to recognize how horribly her family treats her.
The woman cried after she realized her narcissistic parents gave her gifts that they knew would make her sad.
She shared a post of herself weeping, wearing Christmas pajamas, explaining the cycle of narcissistic abuse she endures every year during the holidays.
She explained, “Every year, my parents ask me what I want for Christmas, and it’s never something expensive, it’s never something big. It’s always something small, like pots and pans for my apartment, anything like that.”
“They always tell me they’re gonna get it for me, and then the time comes, and it’s never there,” she said. “They always pull me into the next room and they’re like, ‘Well, we didn’t get it for you because we didn’t think you needed it.’”
Photo: Laura James / Pexels
She revealed what her parents did give her: “A box of chocolate-covered cherries. Dark chocolate-covered cherries. And I don’t eat dark chocolate. They know this. I don’t like the way it tastes.” They also gave her “a pair of used grippy socks, because my dad recently had surgery and they gave him socks.”
She tried to find a silver lining in her parents’ mistreatment, saying, “This would be really funny, if I didn’t have severe mental issues and if I hadn’t been in the hospital three separate times for trying to kill myself.”
“I’m trying really hard not to be upset because I know that Christmas isn’t about gifts. It’s about family. It’s about love,” she said, yet disappointment at her family's mistreatment is an entirely valid way for her to feel.
The true meaning of Christmas isn’t about presents, yet it is about providing love and care, which her parents didn’t do.
“These people adopted me 20 years ago,” she revealed. “They don’t know anything about me. They don’t try to know anything about me.”
She received an outpouring of viral support, as people across TikTok shared, liked, and stitched her post.
Photo: Marko Klaric / Pexels
One older woman, who’s a mother herself, shared a powerful message, saying, “I just want you to know something: That’s not love. If that family has taught you that that is what love is, they’ve lied to you. That’s the opposite of what love is, and you, my beautiful soul, deserve so much more than that.”
“I’m so glad that you put this out there, that you shared this in our community, so that we can say, ‘You don’t have to do this anymore,’” she proclaimed. “Once you recognize that it’s abuse, it becomes easier for you to let them go and find your own happiness, because you deserve happiness,” she said. “You had enough courage to put it out there and now it’s out there. So you can take that truth, ‘cause that’s what you did, you just spoke your truth, you can take your truth and do something different with it.”
The young woman made a second post, expressing gratitude for everyone who shared her original post, saying, “It means the world to me. You guys are opening up my eyes that what I deal with is not okay.”
“If you go through something similar, I implore you to please, not let it continue,” she said. “I let it go on for too long, and it nearly wrecked my mental health.”
In another follow-up post, she revealed exactly how that support helped her realize that she deserves better.
“You guys have truly shown me what love and kindness [are] supposed to look like,” she shared. “I am a human and I deserve love and I deserve respect. I have never once experienced this much love and kindness before, and you guys have truly made my year… You guys have made my holiday wonderful. You showed me my worth. I need to care enough about myself to stop the abuse and not let it continue because it’s not okay, at all.”
Through the support of the online community, she received the gift of understanding her own worth. She can head into the new year with a newfound sense of self-love and acceptance. It might be a long road to healing, but she’s taking her first steps to break the ties that have held her down.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers mental health, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.