Woman Accused Of 'Hating Men' After Calling Out A Toxic Boy Mom Who Dislikes Her 'Manipulative' 9-Year-Old Daughter
Her sister-in-law claimed that it was hard to be a "good mom" to her own daughter.
Anton Estrada via Canva Pro A woman found herself in a heated argument with her sister-in-law after noticing the way she was treating her 9-year-old daughter.
Posting to Reddit, she revealed that her sister-in-law is a stereotypical "boy mom" who devotes more attention to her sons than her daughter, and when she decided to speak up about it, things took a turn.
She was accused of 'hating men' after calling out her sister-in-law's dislike for her 9-year-old daughter.
In her Reddit post, she explained that her sister-in-law makes it a big deal that she is a mom to two sons, including having a bumper sticker and shirts, posting #boymom things across her social media, and making many jokes about it too.
The issue for her is that her sister-in-law doesn't just have two sons, but a 9-year-old daughter as well. As someone who grew up with a father who only wanted sons, and left her mom because of it, her sister-in-law's disregard for her niece triggers her.
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She claimed that her sister-in-law mimics typical toxic 'boy mom' behavior.
She explained that her nephews are never told "no," and their mother acts like they are the best things since sliced bread, even though they're nowhere near perfect. Her niece, on the other hand, receives no attention from her mom.
During a weekend spent with her sister-in-law, niece, and nephews, she noticed that again, her niece was being ignored by her mother and instead giving attention to her nephews. Her breaking point came after her niece tried to show her mom something, but her mom snapped at her and brushed her off, telling her to go get her brothers a snack instead.
"I asked my [sister-in-law] to speak outside and I told her that she needs to knock it off [and] that she is not a 'boy mom' she has a daughter," the woman wrote.
She tried to tell her sister-in-law about how toxic her own father was, and how much her life was ruined because he hated her solely based on her gender and how empty it left her. Her sister-in-law brushed away her concerns, getting really upset and saying that she had no right to tell her how to parent her daughter. She claimed that her 9-year-old daughter is "manipulative" and "mean" and she struggles to be a good mom to her.
"She says I do not see the truth because I hate men," she added. "I lost my temper a bit and told her that her sons are out of control and my niece has always been sweet but she has always been treated like a problem."
Her sister-in-law didn't like that input, and told her that she is not allowed around her nephews anymore because of how much she "hates men."
In the comments section, people agreed that her sister-in-law shouldn't be treating her daughter as if she didn't matter.
Many Reddit users claimed that no amount of talking to her sister-in-law was going to change her behavior, instead, she should try and show her niece as much love as she could.
"Contact your niece. Tell her you understand, that this happened to you too and it's not because she did anything wrong but because her parents can't see how wonderful she is and may never see that," one Reddit user suggested. "Tell her that you will always be there for her, that you care about her and her interests, hobbies, and achievements. Tell her she can reach out to you for anything, good or bad. Let her know that you care about her safety and that you are a safe space for her; that the way her parents treat her could make her vulnerable but you're on her side and you will protect her as best you can."
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Another user added, "She sees nothing wrong with her behavior. Do all you can for your niece. Make sure to praise her accomplishments. Let her know you will always be there for her. When she gets older, she will need a place to go when home gets too rough. Be that safe place for her."
This aunt needs to support her niece outside of her relationship with her sister-in-law.
It seems that this woman's sister-in-law harbors not only resentment toward her daughter but may also be battling with an internalized misogyny that has bled into her parenting. In circumstances when children can feel how little their parents care about them compared to their siblings, no matter the reason, that poor child is left alone and feels as if their mere presence is a nuisance.
Neglecting your child in favor of your other children only creates further emotional turmoil in a home, and doesn't do any favors for the child who has to spend the rest of their life wondering what was wrong with them that they couldn't get their own parent to love them. The answer is nothing, of course. The best thing for this woman to do is to make sure that her niece never feels that, or questions her own value in this world.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.