Wife Admits To Feeling 'Insanely Jealous' Of Her Husband's Life As A Stay-At-Home Dad — 'But There Is No Way Financially I Could Ever Step Back'
It seems like she doesn't really want to be a stay-at-home mom; she just wants a life without work.
fizkes | Canva Pro It’s normal to feel envious of other people and the lives we see them live. Your proximity to that person can make this even worse. The closer you are to someone, the more you see of their life, and the more jealous you may become.
One wife took to Reddit to confess that she was becoming increasingly jealous of her husband, a stay-at-home dad to their toddler son.
Interestingly enough, it wasn't the extra time with their toddler that she felt she was missing out on, but rather the lifestyle staying home afforded him.
A wife envied her husband’s life as a stay-at-home dad.
An anonymous Reddit user posted about the difficult situation she found herself in as she worked to support a great lifestyle for her husband and child.
“I’m a mom and the breadwinner (high stress, frequent travel, long hours),” she explained. “Pay is great and enables my husband to stay home with our toddler.”
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Unfortunately, this woman didn’t feel overly grateful about her career success.
“His life … as a stay-at-home dad is what I wish I could have,” she confessed. “We are able to afford cleaners, babysitters every other week and my parents’ help. We also have backup care when I travel.”
The wife detailed the aspects of her husband's lifestyle she felt jealous of.
“My husband works his dream job on weekends and one weekday a week has off (babysitter, backup care, my parents),” she said. “He recently did a solo trip.”
Like many dads who are active parts of their kids’ lives, he also receives pats on the back for simply doing his duty as a father.
“He’s the fun dad, my son loves him, he’s in shape, everyone thinks it is amazing he stays at home,” she stated. “He is praised by everyone who knows us — everyone tells me I am so lucky to have him.”
On the other hand, this woman feels like her life is basically a nightmare.
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“I’m either working, caring for our child or managing our home/finances,” she said. “I’m tired, overweight and toggle between needing a genuine break when I’m not working and feeling terrible about how little time I spend with our son. I’m aging fast.”
“I’m so insanely jealous of my husband and the life he has as a stay-at-home dad — with all the support he has,” she admitted.
“But there is no way financially I could ever step back,” she explained. “There is no world where I could stay home or even work a more sane job (I’ve been applying for new roles for the last year).”
It seems like this wife really envies her husband’s lifestyle, not his role as a stay-at-home dad.
Stay-at-home dads are becoming more and more common. However, some people still get confused by the concept, thinking only a mom can stay home with her kids.
Despite the gender stereotype, 18% of stay-at-home parents are dads, according to the Pew Research Center. So, while this man may be in the minority of stay-at-home parents, he is still in good company with other dads.
What was interesting about the woman’s post was that she said very little about her husband taking care of their son other than calling him “the fun dad.” Instead, she focused more on the kind of life he gets to live — the trips, the time off, and the weekends-only “dream job.”
It’s possible that this couple could switch out which parent works and which stays home. But, unless the husband could find a job that’s as lucrative as his wife’s, the arrangement wouldn’t work the way she wanted it to.
What would happen if they switched roles?
Unless her husband made the same or more than her lucrative salary, this woman would be stuck as a traditional stay-at-home mom, which is likely not the role she wants. As The Bump noted, this could lead to a severe “lack of fulfillment.”
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Really, this woman seems burned out from working so hard and is jealous that her husband does not have to do the same. Maybe it’s time for a career change that improves her quality of life. Or maybe she needs to hit the reset button and start prioritizing self-care.
Something as simple as making time for an activity that's solely her own — joining a pickle ball team or taking a pottery class — could go a long way to creating that sense of satisfaction she seems to be lacking.
Making the effort to find joy in life again will not only help improve her mental well-being, but it could make a drastic change in her physical health, as well.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.