Wife Begs Husband To Stop Giving His Struggling Adult Daughter $700 A Week Since They Can’t Even Afford Their Own Rent
At first, she was fine with her husband helping out his daughter, but they simply can't afford to support her lifestyle anymore.
wedmoments.stock | Shutterstock A woman questioned if she was being irrational after asking her husband to stop financially supporting his adult daughter when they didn't have enough disposable income to be doing it in the first place.
Posting to the subreddit r/AITA, she claimed that her husband doesn't have the means to support them and his daughter but does it anyway despite her concerns.
She begged him to stop giving his adult daughter $700 a week when they can't even afford to pay their own rent.
In her Reddit post, the 47-year-old woman explained that she was growing more frustrated as time passed because her husband, 54, insists on financially supporting his 27-year-old daughter, a single mother. Currently, his daughter lives with his mom and constantly asks him for financial help.
"I stopped working for a while due to a very bad accident and am living off [a] pension. My husband earns enough to support us but not to the extreme where he’ll have too much disposable income. Just six months ago, the daughter asked for money for dental implants," she recalled. At first, she was supportive of her husband supporting his daughter and insisted that he should help out wherever he could.
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She encouraged him to be as generous with his money as he could, considering, at that point, she hadn't been asking them for money consistently. However, after that first time, it seemed his daughter realized that she had a source of financial support and began asking more frequently.
"One time it was [groceries], next it [was] daycare bills, then phone bills. Just a week ago, she asked him to pay some of her bills because she doesn’t have a [job] now. It's becoming a habit, and I think she’s too old to be asking him for support, and this needs to stop," she continued.
While no child is ever too old to receive support from their parents, there comes a point when constant financial assistance can contribute to a person's lack of independence.
Being a single mother is incredibly difficult, and in this economy, many adults, especially those in their 20s, are struggling immensely. According to a report by Bankrate, roughly 38% of Generation Z adults and millennials believe they face more difficulty feeling financially secure than their parents did at the same age.
"We were just very aware of this narrative that's out there that parents today are too involved, and it's holding young adults back from becoming independent, and we wanted to learn more about the dynamics," Kim Parker, director of social trends at Pew Research Center, told CBS. "Most parents think they did a good job [preparing their children for adulthood], but everyone agrees that young adults aren't completely financially independent."
It's not that young adults aren't working hard; it's that economic challenges are creating a difficult barrier between them and financial independence despite their aspirations and efforts. However, in this instance, this woman is pointing out that she and her husband are also not completely financially stable, and living off of one income means they have to be smart about their money.
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She's not saying that she thinks her stepdaughter should be supporting herself, but that if her husband had more disposable income, then it wouldn't be such an issue, especially since he's giving her $700 a week.
"I just found out yesterday that we are behind [on] rent. I told him how I see him as a really good father, but I don't think it's right, [especially] when we can barely pay [for] housing."
People in the comments agreed that she's not being unreasonable for demanding her husband stop giving his daughter money.
"He’s risking your home for his daughter. She’s living with her mom so I don’t get what she has to pay for that would cost $700 weekly. If she’s paying her mom rent, then she needs to speak with her and figure out how they can manage that," one Reddit user pointed out.
Another user added, "It is one thing if an adult child (particularly in their late 20s) asks help for emergency, extraordinary, and/or one-time expenses. Major dental work, for example. However, an ongoing, recurring need for assistance (absent some kind of explicit long-term agreement) indicates the adult child needs to change their financial situation, not ask a parent for help."
"It's one thing if you're both financially well off and that it wasn't a financial strain. That isn't the case here. He's being generous to his daughter to the tune of $700/week and he now can't afford to pay rent. This is not ok. You don't risk your own financial security and home to help others."
It's completely understandable and fair for parents to want to help out their adult children financially, no matter what.
Still, it's also important that boundaries and expectations are established so that parents don't dig themselves into a financial hole.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.