Woman's In-Laws Expect Her To Be Their 'Server' During Christmas Dinner Since She Works As A Waitress
Their outrageous expectation left her feeling awful.
fizkes | Shutterstock The holiday season is full of joy and merriment, but it can also be a difficult time for many. Dealing with family drama is never fun, and the holidays just seem to compound the issue. As family members are forced into close proximity during holiday reunions, it’s easy for emotions to boil over and create conflict.
That’s what happened to one woman who was left wondering why her in-laws had such strange expectations of her for their Christmas celebration.
A woman asked if she was wrong to feel upset that her in-laws wanted her to be their ‘server’ for Christmas dinner.
An anonymous woman posted on Reddit asking for advice. “I am currently working as a server in our town after recently being laid off from my corporate job,” she explained. “Lucky for me, the restaurant is closed on Christmas Eve and Christmas.”
The woman was looking forward to spending a nice, relaxing Christmas with her family. “I’m a newlywed, and my in-laws are rolling into town for Christmas and staying [at] my husband’s and my new house,” she wrote. “They mentioned wanting to dine out for Christmas dinner, but I offered to whip up a home-cooked feast instead.”
Much to the woman’s surprise, her in-laws turned down the offer for her to cook Christmas dinner. They seemed set on eating out. That’s when her mother-in-law complicated the plans even further.
“She called up my workplace without speaking to me beforehand and asked for me to be their server for their entire Christmas dinner,” she said. “They’re scheduling this dinner the day before we close and making it their designated family celebration.” According to the woman, “I found out through my husband that I’d be playing the role of their server for their festive family celebration, and my Christmas ‘gift’ would be a sweet tip and takeout from my restaurant.”
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Unsurprisingly, the woman was not having any of this. “I politely declined because, let’s be real, being excluded from Christmas dinner while working as their server? That’s a hard pass from me.” However, her in-laws were not happy with her refusal. “Unfortunately, I was told that I was being dramatic and there’s nothing weird about me being their server for their family’s Christmas dinner,” she said.
Reddit users overwhelmingly sided with the woman.
Other Reddit users who commented on the post were in support of the woman, not her in-laws. One person said their behavior was “insulting and spiteful.” Another pointed out, “What’s wrong here is that they don’t care to celebrate Christmas with you.” A third user said, “They have shown their true feelings about you. You are the help. You are not good enough to share a meal with. They want to humiliate you and put you in your place.”
Others pointed out that this might be a sign of bigger problems in her family. “You have more than just an in-law problem,” one person said. “I’d be hiring myself a divorce attorney for Christmas,” said someone else.
Scripps Health listed several ways to deal with the stress caused by family drama during the holidays. One suggestion was to “accept that the only thing you can control is your reaction.” Another was to “practice tolerance.” This woman seems to be doing both of these things, trying to maintain kindness and politeness while handling her in-laws’ over-the-top expectations.
Now, it’s truly in their hands. This woman made her position clear. Her in-laws will have to accept her feelings or risk losing their relationship with her. And it certainly wouldn't hurt if her husband stood up for her as well.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.