Your Childhood Was Better Than You Remember If You Have These 6 Traits As An Adult
Core traits for happy humaning.
SHOTPRIME | Canva Parents can get a lot of grief about what they did wrong, failed to do, forgot to do, didn't know what they should do, or did thinking it was for the best then later found to be for the worst. It's a pickle jar to find oneself twisted into and trapped by the signs of what went wrong.
Parents are the start and the model we are guided by for better or worse. At the core of a human is the emotional network we use to make it through each day. Each day brings trouble yet hope, struggle, yet confidence, challenges faced and survived.
Through it all, humans still are human-ing successfully, so if you have any of these traits as an adult, your childhood was likely better than you remember.
Your childhood was better than you remember if you have these traits:
1. You have a sense of hopefulness and positivity
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There is a self-confidence level generated by a peaceful positive supportive family life that is the most valuable start anyone can have in life, observes life coach Susan Allan. However, happiness isn’t important to everyone.
This may shock you, but humans value different lifestyles, and the environment I was raised was not a happiness-centric one. Success and accomplishment were the keys there, and moving to a different geographical location was a significant support for my search and finding happiness.
2. You can face the world with an open heart
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Psychologist Aline P. Zoldbrod says that If you approach social situations with the firm expectation that new people probably will find you likable, something probably went very right in your family of origin.
"You can go into the world in an open-hearted way and you are likely to find new friends throughout your life And, you’re very lucky," explains Zlodbrod. "Whether you realized it or not, your parents gave you the inner sense that you were interesting and a worthy person."
This is not to say that people with social anxiety, who approach new social situations with fear and dread, necessarily had a traumatizing childhood. Research has found significant genetic factors influence the development of social anxiety. And on a happy note, social anxiety is very responsive to treatment.
3. You are optimistic about the future
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Hope is an essential resource for navigating life's challenges, and cultivating optimism helps nurture hope, advises therapist Gloria Brame. True optimism isn't about naive belief everything will magically work out. Rather, it's maintaining awareness of positive possibilities while acknowledging life's realities.
Many people, especially those struggling with anxiety and depression, default to pessimistic thinking. This manifests as catastrophizing, feeling threatened by minor changes, and dismissing potential positive outcomes. Such patterns often spiral into uncertainty, emotional turmoil, and hopelessness.
Practicing deliberate optimism, even during difficult times, empowers you to take constructive action rather than becoming paralyzed by fear. Instead of fixating on worst-case scenarios, you focus on envisioning positive outcomes and identifying concrete steps to achieve them. This approach transforms abstract hopes into actionable progress.
Those whose parents modeled resilience and determination — through actions, not just words — learned a vital lesson. Willpower and persistence are powerful tools for weathering life's storms. It serves as a practical framework for confronting challenges rather than succumbing to them.
4. You have self-driven confidence
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Couples counselor Larry Michel knows firsthand how having self-confidence as an adult means you believe in your own choices and don't always need others to tell you what to do or if you are doing things right. You trust yourself to make good decisions.
This is so because our parents encouraged us to make choices for ourselves and supported us even when we made mistakes. Instead of criticizing, they helped you learn from experiences without making you feel ashamed.
5. You can regulate your emotions
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Michel elaborates on how handling feelings well as an adult means when you’re upset, stressed, or frustrated, you don’t lose control or shut down. You know how to calm yourself, talk about what’s wrong, and move forward healthily.
This is because when growing up you were not yelled at for crying or told to “just get over it.” Instead, you were helped to name your feelings, talked to about what was wrong, and showed ways to calm down — like taking deep breaths, talking things out, or taking a break.
6. You are not afraid of going in the water
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The concept of a good childhood is emphasized by Michel, who uses our relationship with water to explain. As an adult, we are not afraid of the water if we had parents who let us struggle before stepping in. A parent who didn’t rush in to fix every problem — whether it was a failed test, a lost sports game, or a friendship struggle — was teaching s how to navigate life’s challenges.
It’s easy to assume a “better” parent would have done more, but in reality, letting kids learn to solve problems on their own builds independence and confidence. If you feel comfortable in the water — whether it's swimming, jumping into a lake, or just standing in the ocean without fear — it often means we were given a childhood filled with trust, adventure, and gradual skill-building. Parents who gently introduced us to water rather than forcing or scaring us helped instill confidence rather than fear.
This encouraged us to explore safely. Parents who let us play in the water while supervising (instead of saying, “Be careful! You’ll drown!”) likely taught us to approach new experiences with curiosity rather than fear.
Our caregivers gave us a sense of trust so, as a child, we trust that an adult won’t throw us into the deep end before we’re ready, we build a foundation of security. That trust often translates into adulthood, where we feel more comfortable taking risks and stepping into the unknown.
We could develop skills at our own pace by being introduced to water in a positive, pressure-free way (like playing in the shallow end before learning to swim) suggests our parents (or adult caregivers) respected our comfort levels while encouraging growth.
This shows up in adulthood when we are likely to approach new challenges with excitement rather than fear. We don’t shy away from unfamiliar situations, and we feel capable of handling life’s uncertainties. Whether it’s trying a new hobby, starting a new job, or navigating relationships, we’re more likely to jump in rather than stand on the shore, afraid of what might happen.
As humans, we have survived so far and can still find a way to smile even if only because we made it to the end of another day, alive. Well, something about your childhood allowed those traits to thrive.
Will Curtis is a creator, editor, and activist who has spent the last decade working remotely.