Tired Mom Annoyed That Her Husband Naps During The Day And She Has To Watch The Kids
It's a struggle that many mothers encounter.
BlueSkyImage / Shutterstock Parents are often told that raising children is the greatest and most rewarding role in the world. However, it is also the most challenging, as parenting is a job that offers no time off or hourly rate and requires you to be on call 24/7.
When parenting duties can be split by two people, it makes each day much more manageable. However, in many two-parent families, sometimes one parent takes on more of the responsibilities than the other and end up experiencing much more mental and physical exhaustion.
One such mother vented her frustration about taking on the majority of the workload in parenting compared to her husband, admitting that she grew “annoyed” at him.
The tired mom claimed that her husband takes a nap during the day while she is always left entertaining the baby.
In a TikTok video, Meranda Davis confessed her annoyance toward her husband since he often takes time for himself during the day and leaves her to care for their baby. Davis said that she cannot help but feel jealous since she also desires some time to decompress and put a pause on parenting.
“Does anyone else get annoyed when your husband takes a nap during the day and then you got to entertain the baby like you already have the entire day and all you want to do is take a nap too,” she wrote in the text overlay of the video where she buries her face in her hands and struggles to stay awake.
Other mothers related to Davis’ feelings, sharing that their partners also take time for themselves, assuming that they have a handle on looking after the kids.
“He gets to nap.. he gets to play his games.. and I have to just be mom,” one TikTok user commented. “I feel so guilty for getting annoyed about it because he deserves time too, but I feel like I don’t get any.”
“He sleeps at night, naps, showers alone, uses the bathroom alone, drives alone. It's never-ending,” another user wrote.
“He doesn’t even say anything. He just knows the kids will be taken care of. I have to ask to make sure he KNOWS he needs to watch them,” another user revealed.
Davis’ situation highlights the problematic nature of being the “default parent.”
The term "default parent" refers to the parent who typically assumes the primary responsibility for childcare and household management within a family dynamic. This individual is often relied upon to handle most aspects of parenting, including organizing schedules, managing daily routines, attending to children's needs and making important decisions related to their upbringing.
With the default parent, there is often an unequal distribution of parenting duties that exists within the household. One parent, in most cases the mother, is expected to do everything revolving around childcare while the other parent often waits around to be told what to help out with.
Other people encouraged Davis to talk to her husband to ensure that she got the same alone time that he gave himself. Even if she was not the one doing most of the parenting, she too deserved to take a nap every so often.
However, in a follow-up video, Davis clarified the misconception that her husband does not help out with parenting responsibilities and that she was simply frustrated the moment she posted the video.
“I wasn’t trying to completely throw my husband under the bus. I was just expressing how I felt in that moment and really didn’t think too much about how other people would view it,” she wrote in the caption. “My husband and I have a great relationship and I love him a lot! We communicate how we feel all the time. I was just a little jealous at the moment that I couldn’t be taking a nap with him.”
Still, the mother admits that between parenting and running a business, she feels as if she does not have the same flexibility as her husband does. While she says he offers a helping hand anytime she needs, she will never get a proper break from being a parent the same way he does.
“So when it comes down to it it’s really all on me,” Davis wrote.
Even though she admits that she regrets sharing the video in the first place, she is at least glad she could offer other mothers who feel the same way as her a glimpse into her life so they would feel less alone.
Many mothers like Davis love their children, yet feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities that come with parenting.
According to a poll conducted by Reuters, around 84% of stay-at-home moms do not get a break even after their partner comes home. 97% confess that they need the occasional time out from parenting.
While it may seem as if there is not enough time to take a break from parenting, it is essential for one’s well-being. If mothers do not take the time to decompress from their responsibilities, they will likely suffer burnout and exhaustion, which is not good for them or their children.
So if you’re a parent, and your partner has been pulling most of the weight when it comes to parenting, give them a helping hand without them having to ask. Pick up some laundry, clean up the dishes after dinner, play with the kids, and tell them to take the nap they deserve.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.