11 Tiny Ways Adult Children Can Show Love To Their Parents
Your relationship might change, but that doesn't mean your commitment has to.
Martin Novak | Shutterstock Especially later in life, when children move away from their parents and don't spend as much intentional time together, many families can experience an uncomfortable sense of disconnection and separation that's not always easy to address. Even though it's natural for adult children and their parents, it does take intentionality to evolve into a new, healthy, and practical relationship later in life.
Founded on open communication, compassion, and trust, there are tiny ways adult children can show love to their parents and remind them they're still around in order to build a better, healthier, and more valuable relationship into adulthood. While expressions of love aren't the only things important to crafting this new relationship, it's still necessary for people to feel valued, respected, and cared for — even if they're a parent.
Here are 11 tiny ways adult children can show love to their parents
1. Offering to help with household chores and errands
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Whether it's grocery shopping, washing their car, or taking care of their dishes when you're visiting, sometimes it's the smaller, more subtle things in life that express love in our relationships.
By taking care of a household chore or errand that your parents might have been dreading, you remind them that you care and are willing to spend time doing acts of service that add value to their lives.
Especially in a relationship where a parent might have been responsible for similar tasks while their kids were growing up, flipping the script and taking these chores off their plate can be the perfect way for adult children to show love.
2. Picking up the tab at dinner
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Especially in today's society, where so many adult children and young people are financially reliant on support from their parents to survive, like surveys from Pew Research Center suggest, it's important to recognize the power that money has in relationships.
Both for better and for worse, financial support and involvement can truly affect a relationship, and holds power over anyone, whether they're speaking with a friend, asking for help from a parent, or building a relationship with their boss at work.
By flipping the script and taking your parents out for dinner, paying one of their bills, or offering to buy them something they've been needing, adult children can express their love in a unique way. While there might be stigma about talking about money, especially in their families and with older parents, there's no denying the power it holds in our relationships, and the love that can be expressed by supporting someone else with it.
3. Calling them consistently
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While it might seem silly or subtle amid the chaos of everyday life, small acts of contact and kindness can go a long way for parents and their adult children, helping everyone to feel more loved and supported. Whether it's a text message or a quick phone call, hearing each other's voices, laughing together, and being available to support each other can truly help adult children and their parents connect.
To combat the disconnect that's inevitable between parents and their kids as they enter adulthood, these small intentional comments of connection — even when there's geographical distance — are empowering and one of the perfect ways adult children can show love to their parents.
4. Listening to their stories and memories
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While distance and poor boundaries can be a great point of tension in parent-child relationships into adulthood, like counselor Dr. Rachel Glik argues, there are ways to combat the loneliness, resentment, and frustration associated with natural disconnect. Especially with quality time, where both people are engaged and actively listening, adult children and their parents can find mutual understanding in their conversations and love in their ability to make each other feel heard.
It might feel simple, but the passing interactions and conversations you shared with your parents as kids are no longer a consistent daily routine, taking away small moments for parents to feel heard, especially if they're not married or with a partner.
By simply listening, expressing genuine interest in their parent's stories, and investing in quality time, adult children can remind their parents that they're still present, even when they're not living together anymore.
5. Expressing gratitude often
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Like experts from Harvard Health suggest, expressing gratitude and giving thanks consistently in your life can both add value to your relationships and your life, helping you to feel happier and more fulfilled, even amid the chaos of life.
By investing in small acts of kindness or words of affirmation and encouragement with a parent, their adult children can share the joys of gratitude, reminding their parents that they notice and recognize the hard work they've done, whether in their personal lives or in supporting them in adulthood.
6. Being patient while they're struggling
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According to counselor Sandra Harewood, patience is necessary to embody any kind of relationship, whether it's between friends, a parent and their child, or professional peers at work. Of course, patience doesn't always come naturally; it's a practice that takes intentional commitment and strength to embody, especially in evolving and changing connections.
Adult children can express patience to their parents in a number of verbal and nonverbal ways, especially amid the transition into early adulthood and the chaos of life as an "empty-nester." Whether you're talking on the phone or spending time together, remember to give your parents grace as their child — it's their first time living, too.
7. Cooking them a meal
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Showing up for your parents and reminding them that you love them doesn't have to be a huge commitment; in fact, it can be something small, as long as there's intention behind it.
From writing them a note, to cooking a meal, or sending them a thoughtful message, parents just want to feel appreciated and thought of, even by adult children cultivating their own lives and dealing with the stress of adulthood.
8. Speaking kindly about them when they're not around
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Even when their parents aren't around, the healthiest adult children make an effort to speak kindly about them to others — cultivating a safe, positive, and productive energy in their relationship. This positive energy not only permeates their social connections outside of their family, but also adds value to their connection when they do spend quality time together with their parents.
Especially within a family, negative energy spread by rumors and gossip can spark resentment and disconnect between adult children and their parents, sabotaging their interactions and encouraging them to carry the burdens of guilt and loneliness with them once they leave.
By committing to a more empathetic and compassionate approach, even when their parents aren't around, they ensure they're bringing positive energy into their lives, relationship, and interactions.
9. Surprise them with thoughtful gifts or events
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According to a study published in Ageing and Society, many people experience higher rates of loneliness, isolation, and alienation as they age, experiencing a disconnect from their relationships and less communication with their loved ones. To combat the discomfort and anxiety associated with this separation, small gestures are some of the tiny ways adult children can show love to their parents.
Whether it's a quick message over text, a planned birthday party, or a small surprise gift, reminding your parents that you're thinking about them, even when they're not around as much, is both empowering and impactful in a family relationship.
10. Giving them a hug
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Coupled with rising rates of loneliness and the disconnect many parents inevitably feel when their kids get older, parents just need a simple reminder that they're loved and cared for. Physical affection can be a perfect way to express love in passing moments — a hug, hand-holding, or even a kiss on the cheek is empowering and reaffirming, even if it seems simple.
Just like a parent's affection shapes their child's future and well-being, the tiny ways adult children can show love to their parents — verbal affirmations, affection, or acts of service — can make all the difference in their lives.
Don't underestimate the power you have as an adult child in reciprocating feelings of love in your family relationships. Everyone deserves to feel respected, valued, understood, and heard.
11. Spending quality time together
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Instead of trying to spend as much time with a parent as possible or getting easily distracted when you stop over to chat, life coach Sherri Gordon argues that quality time is more about how you spend your time, and you should be more focused on cultivating productive conversations, engaging activities, and feelings of mutual understanding and love when you're in the same space.
Even if you're just video chatting, adult children who give their parents their full attention, helping them to feel heard and understood, cultivate healthier relationships. Not only are you adding value to quality time you spend together, you're ensuring you have the tools to empathetically resolve conflict, speak about differing opinions, and support each other fully.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.