11 Things A Truly Loving Grandparent Will Always Do For Their Grandchild
The responsibility of being a grandparent is no easy task, but it brings immense joy.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock Grandparents tend to play an incredibly important role in family dynamics, despite a general lack of research on their roles with adult children and grandkids. According to one study from the International Journal of Aging and Human Development, there are a few main pillars of a healthy relationship between grandparents and their grandchildren, all of which revolve around a sense of closeness, identity, support, and balance.
Especially when grandparents have the opportunity to healthily love, care for, teach, and support their grandkids without too much influence from the middle generation, there's more opportunity for growth and stability. Many of the things a truly loving grandparent will always do for their grandchild also revolve around these pillars. From childcare, to active listening approaches, and a generational transfer of life skills and values, this relationship can be a sacred one, despite resentment and tension that seems to plague the generational gap on a large scale.
Here are 11 things a truly loving grandparent will always do for their grandchild
1. They share stories and experiences
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Telling stories and passing down experiences through generations isn't just important for bonding between grandparents and their grandchildren, it can also assist in recognizing and healing from generational traumas, according to a study from Psychological Trauma.
Shared experience is how we bond with anyone in social interactions, but alongside family history, a sense of closeness, and the situational empathy that characterizes this specific relationship, storytelling holds a great deal of power.
From teaching their grandchildren about overcoming their own struggles, to sharing perspective on their parents' own childhoods, and even telling stories from their own, grandparents share skills, insights, and lessons that can powerfully shape their grandkids' own futures and mindsets.
2. They offer advice without judgment
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While psychology experts like Dr. Kelsey M. Latimer argue that unsolicited advice can sabotage healthy connection and social interaction — dismissing people's true concerns and needs for support — grandparents that offer advice when they're asked for it through storytelling and guidance cultivate healthy bonds with their grandkids.
Whether they're helping their grandchild to overcome a specific struggle or sharing general life wisdom, giving advice without judgment is one of the things a truly loving grandparent will always do for their grandchild.
The safe space that characterizes this loving family dynamic is fed by interactions like these, ensuring that grandchildren always feel safe asking their grandparents for help and advice, especially when they're struggling or going through a difficult time and can't rely completely on their parents for guidance.
3. They create intentional memories together
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A study published in the Journal of Family Issues argues that having a good relationship with your grandparents can make a huge difference in how you feel later in life — from spending time with family, to cultivating your own relationships, and even settling into a comfortable sense of self-esteem and self-worth.
While there's a number of things that feed into the health of this relationship, quality time seems to be the most important. Grandparents are much more concerned with making the most of their time spent with grandkids, rather than trying to see them all of the time.
Whether it's with a grandparent, a mother, or a sibling, the time spent together in a family relationship is much less important than what you're doing with that time. Quality time looks different for everyone, but leveraging it by making it a priority to make memories together is one of the things a truly loving grandparent will always do for their grandchild.
4. They offer to babysit
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Offering to help with babysitting and childcare, especially in the current economy with rising prices and overwhelming parental stress, is one of the things a truly loving grandparent will always do for their grandchild, if they have the means to do so. Even if it's simply recognizing their children need a break and offering to take their grandkids for the evening, they're intuitive and thoughtful with offering up their time.
Of course, for the health of everyone involved and the family dynamic as a whole, it's important to have clear boundaries and constant communication between the middle generation and grandparents when it comes to childcare.
Considering that grandparents who take on a significant role in caring for their grandchildren are often burdened with socioeconomic disadvantages and added stress, according to a study from the European Journal of Ageing, it's not always beneficial for them to set their own needs, identity, and time aside to assist with childcare — if they have the choice or financial freedom to do so.
Everyone — grandparents included — deserves to have time to enjoy their lives in the current stage, and if that means setting boundaries around the childcare they're responsible for with grandchildren, everyone will benefit emotionally from protecting those guidelines.
5. They teach important life skills
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In addition to offering practical life advice and financial wisdom, a study from AARP found that grandparents play an essential role in offering experiential and emotional guidance to both their grandparents and their adult children.
Especially in multicultural families, grandparents who grew up in a much more traditional time — void of technological advancements, social media, and modern day qualms — have a lot of wisdom to share for younger generations that they'd otherwise miss out on.
From navigating traditional professional environments, to learning etiquette or manners, and even having thoughtful conversations in a stressful atmosphere, many grandparents can share wisdom from their own lived experiences that are thoughtfully intertwined into their grandchildren's current realities.
6. They're supportive, even through difficult times
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According to experts from the Alden Network, grandparents can often be a pillar of support and unwavering reassurance for grandchildren with a tumultuous or stressful home life. Whether it's instability and uncertainty with their own parents or unique modern day struggles, the unconditional love and support of grandparents can yield a safe space for them to recharge and relax.
While a toxic or narcissistic grandparent can quickly sabotage that safe space, it's one of the things a truly loving grandparent will always cultivate for their families, lending a listening ear and sense of reassurance to the people around them without judgment or unnecessary criticism.
This consistent reassurance and positive feedback doesn't just help to cultivate a healthy family dynamic and relationship, it also helps impressionable children and young adults to build self-esteem and self-worth that follows them into adulthood.
7. They prioritize family traditions
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Cherishing and prioritizing family traditions is another one of the things a truly loving grandparent will always do for their grandchildren, feeding into the safe space, security, and stability that many of their other routine habits do.
According to parenting researcher Dr. Justin Coulson, these family traditions also spark important feelings of belonging for grandchildren, giving them a clear space and sense of community at home that can help them to cope with stress, uncertainty, or anxiety in their daily lives.
8. They avoid overstepping their adult children's parenting wishes
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Despite being a foundational part of many family structures, grandparents aren't entitled to anything when it comes to voicing opinions for their kids' parenting styles, spending time with grandchildren, or playing a large role in a family dynamic. Especially if they're already proven to be untrustworthy or defiant, parents have the ability to set healthy boundaries with grandchildren to protect their own emotional wellbeing.
However, being respectful of these boundaries and playing a role in crafting them are a few of the things a truly loving grandparent will always do for their grandchild. At the end of the day, they're willing to advocate for their own needs and desires, but never at the expense of a healthy relationship with their own kids or grandchildren.
9. They offer a listening ear
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Considering people are more likely to engage in healthy active listening strategies when they care about the well-being of the person they're speaking to, according to research published in Current Opinion in Psychology, it's not surprising that offering a listening ear is one of the things a truly loving grandparent will always do for their grandchild.
Especially because feeling heard is one of the foundational elements of healthy social interaction and productive conversations, grandparents are able to boost self-confidence in their grandkids while also building a better, more fulfilling relationship.
Whether it's supporting them through complex emotions or giving them a safe space to voice their opinions, loving and healthy grandparents appreciate deep and meaningful conversations where they can listen and provide advice when prompted.
10. They teach the importance of traditional hobbies and skills
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From sewing clothing, to learning how to endure traditional workplace environments, and investing time in personal hobbies like keeping a diary, grandparents can impart a lot of beneficial knowledge to their grandchildren simply by sharing the small parts of their daily lives with them.
Many of the traditional values grandparents uplift in their own lives don't necessarily align with younger generations; however, there are many that are worth bringing back, helping young people to navigate the world from a broader, more versatile perspective.
11. They don't take things too personally
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From setting boundaries with their adult children to enduring the life changes their grandchildren face, truly healthy and loving grandparents learn to not take everything personally. Especially for subtle things like a hurtful remark from a teenage grandchild, learning to not take things personally can help to safeguard a healthy relationship.
These passing interactions are learning moments and growing pains, not a reflection of a child's true intentions or mentality. Willing to give their families the benefit of the doubt amid the chaos and stress of life and parenting, healthy grandparents choose how to advocate for themselves in moments where it's equally productive and bonding.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.