17-Year-Old Accused Of Abandoning Her Stepsiblings After She Refuses To Be Their Babysitter & Plans To Move Out
She just wants her own life.
fizkes / Shutterstock Many eldest daughters take on the inherent role of caring for their younger siblings, which can cause them stress and anxiety. Unfortunately, it’s not exactly a responsibility they can easily walk away from.
However, what if you’re an only child and your dad chooses to remarry a woman with three young kids? That's the exact dilemma one teen girl was faced with when she was forced by her dad and stepmom to be their full-time, unpaid babysitter.
The teenager took to Reddit to share her plans to move out so she will no longer be responsible for babysitting her stepsiblings.
In her Reddit post, the 17-year-old explained how she’s never had a strong connection with her dad, and he’s often acted in selfish and careless ways.
“My dad was never a very good dad to me. When I was a kid, he was really absent from our house,” she wrote in the post. “He left raising me to my mom and would show up when others were around to make it look good. But he never got involved or cared about me or my life.”
The only time she knew he would come around was when it was his birthday, and her mom would cook his favorite meal and get him gifts.
When the girl was eight years old, her mom became ill, and rather than staying by her side to show his support, her dad “bailed” and filed for divorce, leaving the girl to care for her mom on her own.
Photo: RomoloTavani / Canva Pro
Sadly, her mom passed away before the divorce went through. The girl said he was never emotionally or physically present during this time, dumping her on a babysitter until she was 11 and could look after herself.
When she was 12, they moved in with her dad’s pregnant girlfriend and two toddlers, and they married five months after her youngest was born.
The girl’s dad and stepmom put all of the parental responsibility on the teen so they could enjoy themselves.
“They told me I was going to ‘level up’ and be a good big sis to her kids so that they could live their own lives and the kids would have someone to look up to,” she shared. “Then came the forced babysitting during the summer, all summer long. I always tried to find ways out of it but felt like I had no options.”
Her dad and stepmom have been married for five years, and they’ve made it the girl’s responsibility to babysit her three stepsiblings, aged 5, 6, and 7, for the last four summers in a row, despite her being a child herself.
Photo: VGstockstudio / Shutterstock
The girl said her stepmom is rarely involved in her kids' lives, yet she has frequently guilt-tripped the girl for not interacting enough with them.
It almost seems as though they’ve decided the girl is their kids’ nanny without even bothering to consider her own needs.
The girl has spent the last year plotting her move after she turns 18 and graduates.
Having had enough of this unwanted role she was coerced into, the girl said she plans to stay with some friends on her 18th birthday and “never return.”
However, she became worried that her parents might leave the kids unsupervised, seeing as they were expecting her to carry on with her free labor indefinitely. So, she decided to let them know her plans to move out so they could have ample time to prepare.
Suffice it to say, they were not pleased with her plan, and they complained about the financial burden this would cause them. They condemned her for abandoning the kids after being “the most consistent person” in their lives.
Her dad argued she should continue doing their bidding since they have provided a roof over her head. Unfortunately, the dad failed to recognize that this is a requirement of parenthood, and it’s about all he’s done for his daughter, based on how she described their relationship.
Once a child turns 18, they are legally allowed to make their own decisions.
Her dad had the chance to build a relationship with his daughter, but based on the girl’s experience, he has had no interest in her presence unless it’s benefited him.
“He doesn't love me and I don't love him. DNA means nothing here,” the girl wrote.
That being said, it only makes sense for her to want to focus on her own life.
Reddit users argued the girl had every right to walk away, and they shared their contempt for her dad’s audacity to carelessly take advantage of his daughter.
“You have a right to experience life and not be tied down with kids that aren’t yours,” one person commented. “That roof over your head was literally the bare minimum a parent had to do as their job. Don't ever feel like you owe them anything because you don't owe them any more of your time or energy,” another person stated.
Reddit users advised the girl to make sure she takes her personal documents with her, locks her credit card, and closes any bank accounts her parents may have access to in case her dad lashes out and uses her information to pay for a new sitter.
They offered the girl additional resources and guidance as she embarked on a fully independent life.
The parents are placing their selfish preferences over the girl’s right to live her own life.
It’s absurd that the parents believe they can invalidate the girl’s feelings and goals simply because her choice will inconvenience them, especially because it is their responsibility to be parents.
Many kids move away from their homes when they turn 18 to go off to college or simply be independent, and if anything, this behavior is encouraged.
Parents should be proud to see their kids take initiative and move forward in their lives, but it’s telling that the girl’s dad has no interest in his daughter’s life unless it's to serve him. She should feel no guilt for moving on and forcing her father to become a responsible adult.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.