Stepmom Volunteers To Chaperone Stepdaughter’s Field Trip And Gets A ‘Tasteless’ Response From The Teacher Declining Her Help
The stepmother was offended by the teacher's response and the specific wording that was used.
Ground Picture / Shutterstock People are defending a stepmother after she shared the horrible response she received from her stepdaughter's teacher about chaperoning a school field trip.
In a TikTok video, the stepmother, who calls herself a "bonus mom," posted screenshots of the email exchange, shocked at the level of disrespect she got from her stepdaughter's teacher — all because she wasn't biologically related to the little girl.
She offered to chaperone her daughter's school trip and received a 'tasteless' response from the teacher.
In the initial email from the stepmother, she happily informed her stepdaughter's teacher that she had no issue chaperoning the school field trip to Universal. "Let me know if I get the spot," the stepmother inquired, fully believing she would since teachers always needed help on school trips.
Photo: @confessionsofabonusmom / TikTok
However, in response to the stepmother's inquiry, the teacher claimed that she was not needed, but framed it in a rather hurtful manner.
"Thank you for your willingness to chaperone this field trip, however, the parent will be chaperoning," the teacher replied. Of course, that blunt reply didn't sit well, and she immediately responded, claiming that while she understood the girl's biological mother didn't want her to go on the trip at all, she still felt as if the response was "fairly tasteless."
Photo: @confessionsofabonusmom / TikTok
"I may not be biological but I am a parent nonetheless and have chosen to love a little girl as my own child for the last six years," she wrote. "In addition, I have supported her and the school via PTA, volunteering for field day, family dances, etc. Sounds like a real parent to me."
In the final screenshot of the email exchange, the little girl's teacher was quick to apologize, letting the stepmother know that she never intended to be offensive in the language she used. "I am sorry that you found the response tasteless. It was never the intention. Thank you again for your willingness to chaperone."
In the comments section, people agreed that the young girl's teacher could've simply used better language and declined her offer to chaperone more politely.
"Hi, Mama. Mom/stepmom here. Her comment was a knife to the heart. Different wording could have made all the difference. I see you," one TikTok user shared.
Another user added, "All that had to be said was it was already full. [The] wording does matter. Stepparents are still parents & in some scenarios do a lot more than the 'real parent.'"
"As a future teacher that is such a not nice response! I would have definitely phrased it 'I love your willingness to chaperone but (child’s name) mom is chaperoning. If she is okay with you being there we would love to have you. Let me know,'" a third user chimed in. "This teacher knew what she was doing with this wording. I wouldn’t have responded to her she isn’t worth the conflict," another said.
Photo: FamVeld / Canva Pro
This incident is a reminder that stepparents can be just as integral to a child's life as their biological parents.
Their roles should be acknowledged instead of diminished, and the use of inclusive language is needed to recognize this stepmother's role and her appreciation for wanting to have a part in something small, like her stepdaughter's school field trip.
While this teacher may not have purposefully wanted to make the stepmother feel insignificant, all school educators must be aware of the impact that their words can have when speaking with parental figures and guardians, because it isn't just black and white for many children. Whether it's a stepparent, a grandparent, or anyone in between, everyone's involvement should be valued instead of overlooked.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.