Stay-At-Home Stepmom Lists Everything She Refuses To Do For Her Stepdaughter That She Will Do For Her Biological Kids
She still says that she wants to be a supportive figure in her stepdaughter's life.
fizkes / Shutterstock A mother has been accused of acting like the Wicked Stepmother from Cinderella after she went online and proudly listed all of the things she would gladly do for her biological children but not for her stepdaughter.
The stay-at-home mom shared all of the things she is unwilling to do for her stepdaughter.
In a since-deleted TikTok, the woman shared the list that rubbed many people the wrong way, concerned for her stepdaughter’s well-being.
According to the woman, she does not do her stepdaughter’s laundry, buy her school supplies, attend parent-teacher conferences, or go to doctor’s appointments. However, she gladly does these things for her biological children.
“I am not first, second, third, or fourth in line to look after my stepdaughter if my partner is unavailable,” she claimed.
Photo: nadtochiy / Canva Pro
Additionally, the woman does not discipline her stepdaughter or co-parent with her biological mother in any way.
The stepmom claimed that while every family has different rules and expectations when it comes to step-parenting, these are the ones that work within her own family. All the things the woman refuses to do for her stepdaughter are handled by her father or biological mother.
However, some people online argued that the woman was treating her stepdaughter unfairly.
“You should treat all of them the same,” one TikTok user commented.
“Wow, this has huge, ‘she is not part of our family’ vibes. Scary,” another commenter wrote.
“You sound like a prize catch of a Stepmother. Are you fresh out of Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs?” a third user questioned.
In a follow-up video, the woman defended herself by sharing all the things she does for her stepdaughter.
Just like she would if she were her biological parent, the woman claimed that she “celebrates” every single one of her stepdaughter’s achievements.
“I’m giving her all of the, ‘Well done!’ “You’re so clever!” and ‘I’m so proud of you!’” she said.
She also cooks for her stepdaughter and takes care of her when she’s sick. While she doesn’t attend parent-teacher conferences for her stepdaughter, the woman said that she is there for all of her school performances and sports games.
The stepmom also claimed to provide her stepdaughter with a “safe space” and make sure that she knows that she can always come to her for advice, to cry, or just to talk.
The woman argued that while she is there for her stepdaughter in various ways, she is not her biological parent. She leaves all the important parenting decisions, including discipline, doctor’s appointments, and washing her clothes, to the girl’s biological mother and father.
“I just want to be a supportive role in her life that she loves and that she can build a nice bond with, and we can have a lasting relationship,” the woman explained.
She added that she will also be there to support her stepdaughter’s biological mother and father.
That said, the woman understood why her claims ruffled some feathers, especially those who are more involved in their stepchildren’s lives.
“It might not sound right, it might not feel right to hear me say those things, and that’s absolutely okay!” she said in a follow-up video. “If your situation is working for you, and you have an amazing relationship with your stepchildren and you have an amazing relationship with the biological parents, and you are happy, then that is [expletive] great!”
The woman insisted that her decisions should not influence any other stepparents to do the same if their family dynamics are different. They should always do what feels right within their own families.
“Every blended family is completely different. All of our stepchildren are completely different,” she said.
Still, some people expressed concern for the woman’s stepdaughter, fearing that she would feel alienated from her stepmother and siblings if she happened to notice the different treatment she received.
However, in yet another video, the woman revealed that this is not the case.
The woman claimed that her stepdaughter truly does not keep tabs on who does her laundry, buys her school supplies, and attends her parent-teacher conferences.
“Do you think she gives a [expletive] who does her washing as long as it’s clean? No. Do you think when she gets in trouble at school and both of her parents are called down, she wants me there as well? No,” the woman said.
According to the woman, everything she does for her biological children that she does not do for her stepdaughter is insignificant in a child’s world.
Most likely, the woman’s stepdaughter will remember the time when her stepmother brought her soup and crackers to her bedside when she was sick, not when she wasn’t present at a parent-teacher conference.
If the woman’s only job in her stepdaughter’s life is to be a safe space, a cheerleader, a support figure, and someone who loves her, then so be it! As long as both parties are comfortable and happy with the arrangement.
Not all family relationships with stepchildren will be the same. Each family situation is unique, and relationships between stepchildren and stepparents can vary widely.
For those who still could not let go of the fact that the woman refused to do her stepdaughter’s laundry, she attempted to put the criticism to rest in another video in which she explained why she does not do her stepdaughter’s laundry. It is not because she is being neglected.
It all had to do with the fact that she was simply overwhelmed by the amount of unpaid labor she was expected to do as a stay-at-home mom and decided to take a step back. Her husband and stepdaughter’s biological mother are solely responsible for his daughter's laundry.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.