Stepfather Urges His Wife To ‘Enforce’ Better Eating Habits In Her ‘Active’ Teen Daughter
The mom argued that her daughter is perfectly healthy with her current lifestyle.
elenavagengeim | Canva Pro It’s natural for parents to want the best for their kids when it comes to their education, extracurricular activities, and eating habits. Adolescence is a pivotal time for individuals to incorporate healthy lifestyle routines that they can grow up maintaining.
One supportive mom allows her teenage daughter to eat whatever she wants since she follows an active weekly routine.
The teen’s stepdad suggested the mom ‘enforce’ smarter eating habits after claiming the teen is getting ‘chubby.’
The 45-year-old mom disagreed with her husband, and took to Reddit’s AITA forum seeking advice on the subject. She explained her daughter is 15 years old and is “extremely active” on her high school’s dance team.
“They have practices 8 hours a week, and according to her Fitbit she gets 100+ ‘active minutes’ a day on average,” the mom wrote in her post.
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Considering the teen’s regular physical activity, the mom lets her daughter independently manage her diet.
“Because of the long practices, she usually eats a normal-sized lunch, a large snack, and a large dinner every day,” the mom detailed. “However, my husband (her stepfather) has told me that I need to be enforcing healthier eating habits because ‘she’s getting chubby.’ (She’s always been on the curvier side.)”
The mom explained her daughter is 5’4 and weighs 150 pounds, which according to a BMI calculator designed by Rush University, is technically considered overweight, but not by an overwhelming amount.
The mom explained how her daughter has hypermobility in her knees, so they’ll occasionally buckle backward, and she’ll get a mild sprain. She added that her daughter genetically inherited this from her parents, as they have experienced similar issues.
“[My husband] told me that she’s going to end up obese if I don’t fix it now, and that’s probably the cause of her knee problems,” the mom relayed. “I’ve ignored his concern on the matter because I believe my daughter is fine the way she is (and no doctor has brought up needing to lose weight).”
Reddit users argued that the teen seems perfectly healthy and her stepdad is ‘overstepping.’
One individual claimed the stepdad doesn’t seem to be coming from the right place, but she proposed the mom consider how she can better support her daughter by preparing more protein and nutrient rich meals.
“It's not a crime for a parent to want their kid to make healthy choices in all aspects of their lives, including their relationship with food,” she commented. “Thus, I think your husband is being an AH … and perhaps overstepping as a stepparent. But I don't think he's wrong for suggesting she may be forming bad habits, and you have an opportunity to help her replace them with better ones.”
The mom replied to the comment, stating that her daughter is old enough to decide what meals she needs to eat on a regular basis, considering her active routine. She said her daughter typically skips breakfast, eats light snacks like Goldfish, fruit, and cheese throughout the day, orders fast food with her team about once a week, and eats a balanced dinner consisting of chicken and vegetables with either pasta or potatoes, most nights of the week.
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With that being said, it’s indicative the teen seems to maintain a fairly balanced diet for her athletic routine.
Reddit users agreed the teen appears to be taking care of herself just fine and has likely gained muscle weight, which is natural and healthy. They argued that it’s important for growing adolescents to balance an ample diet when training vigorously on a weekly basis, and the teen’s stepdad seems to have a skewed perception of good health.
“That sounds pretty healthy and well-rounded to me. Dancers tend to be pretty muscular so I imagine some of her weight is due to that. But also, she’s still in the midst of puberty and her body is changing,” one person suggested. “I think it’s great that you’re not making her feel insecure about her body, especially during a time when it’s still changing.”
Being curvy does not equate to being unfit or unhealthy.
Healthy looks vastly diverse for different body types, and it’s not only determined by an individual’s height and weight. Rather, various factors play a role in someone’s health.
Contrary to belief, BMI is actually not an accurate portrayal of an individual’s health. According to Within Health, the metric doesn’t take into account other elements that contribute to someone’s physical health, like bone density, body composition, muscle mass, body fat percentage, or racial differences.
On that note, there is no “ideal” body type someone should aim for, as diverse body weights and sizes can support a healthy person.
The stepdad may be genuinely trying to look out for his stepdaughter, but teen girls already experience a myriad of insecurities throughout their adolescent years, and his crass assumptions about her body could significantly interfere with her self-image and confidence.
Based on the mom’s context, the girl doesn’t seem to be overindulgant or inactive. She seems to have a positive relationship with food and exercise, and as long as she maintains a balanced and nutrient-rich diet with her athletic endeavors, she will be just fine. The mom’s supportive and uplifting attitude toward her daughter will certainly empower the girl to continue loving and nurturing her body, and there’s nothing healthier than that.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.