Stay-At-Home Mom Frustrated By The Lack Of ‘Validation’ For The Constant Work She Does
Despite knowing she's a good mom, she expressed how difficult it can be to do all of the work she does without receiving any recognition.
Natalia Lebedinskaia | Shutterstock Being a stay-at-home mom is an often unrecognized job. In fact, many people don't even consider it to be an actual job.
There are a bunch of misconceptions that stay-at-home moms have it easy because they're simply at home with the children and therefore, there shouldn't be any real stresses compared to a "regular" or "normal" job. However, that's not the case.
Being a stay-at-home parent is probably the hardest job an individual can have because, unlike regular jobs, you don't get promotions or raises. You don't even get paid, period. But, the worst part, at least according to a stay-at-home mom named Syd, has to be the lack of recognition.
A mom expressed frustration with the lack of 'validation' for the never-ending work she does.
"Something that I think that a lot of people don’t realize about being a stay-at-home mom, whether you are a homeschool mom or your kids are young and you’re staying home with them during those years, is that there’s no measurement of success. There’s no metric," Syd began in her TikTok video.
The mom said the lack of recognition and 'congratulations' for a job well done can make parents who stay home feel defeated.
There's no reward for being an outstanding stay-at-home mom. It's both fulfilling and unfulfilling at the same time.
Even though Syd said she knows she's a good mom to her children and is often rewarded for making them happy and going above and beyond for them, there's nothing tangible that she can hold in her hand, which can sometimes make it feel meaningless.
"For you to be a perfect parent in a measurable way, it will be you not having a second of rest ever, and everything in your life appearing to be perfect, but we know that's not real. We know that's not healthy for a person. Then you go back to not having any sort of validation," Syd shared.
"We’re going on eight years of not being able to measure [success]," she continued, adding that she once had a friend tell her that there's no "mastery" on motherhood, which is how Syd feels as well. “I think that that’s a thing nobody talks about or that we don’t get to talk about with each other."
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Syd pointed out that stay-at-home moms' partners go to work, get promoted, get raises, complete their entire workday, and can feel that sense of success and achievement. It also helps that their workday has an actual schedule, whereas being a stay-at-home mom is 7 days a week, 24 hours around the clock.
For Syd, though, and other stay-at-home mothers, their work is not only constant but there's no "metric" for it.
Most stay-at-home mothers struggle with feelings of stress and anxiety over their roles.
According to Motherly's 2023 State of Motherhood Report, the mental health findings for mothers were a bit concerning but not surprising.
Working mothers are experiencing higher levels of anxiety and depression compared to working fathers, with 66% of working mothers reporting negative mental health impacts.
For stay-at-home mothers, many of them feel isolated and lonely, and one Gallup poll of more than 60,000 U.S. women found that stay-at-home moms experienced depression, sadness, stress, and anger at a higher rate than working moms.
It's why stay-at-home mothers are heavily encouraged to find hobbies and interests outside of their children because it's incredibly easy for them to become stressed and burnt out.
But speaking to Syd's point, which resonated with many other stay-at-home moms in the comments section, it's extremely easy to self-criticize when no one is offering praise and to find fault in everything that you're doing when that's not the case.
Stay-at-home moms do their best every single day, give 110% of themselves to their children, and make sure all of the responsibilities are completed as well.
So, if any stay-at-home moms haven't heard a word of praise for what they do, then you can read it here — you're excelling and doing an incredible job!
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.