6 Small Gestures Every Kid Wants To See Their Parents Do
Model what a healthy relationship looks like before your children leave the nest.
Studio Romantic | Shutterstock As parents, you might assume your children are too young to notice your relationship with your partner; however, that's far from the truth. Chances are, they are more aware than you realize, and according to marriage and family therapists Erin Mitchell, MACP and Stephen Mitchell, PhD, there are six small gestures every kid wants to see their parents do.
The first relationship they witness during childhood can impact their entire lives and future relationships. These everyday interactions show your kids a loving and positive relationship, making them feel safe and secure.
Here are six small gestures every kid wants to see their parents do:
1. Show affection toward one another.
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Of course, no kid wants to see excessive PDA between their parents. However, a bit of affection is important. Relationship coach Jessica Miller told YourTango that kids who see their parents show (PG-rated) affection toward one another are happier, worry less about their parents' relationship status, and learn what a healthy relationship looks like.
Still, she noted, "The basic rule of thumb is, don't do anything that you wouldn't feel comfortable seeing your (or any) teenager do." In other words, yes to hand-holding and hugs and no to make-outs and dirty talk.
2. Be thoughtful toward one another.
There are a lot of ways to be thoughtful in a relationship, from daily acts of kindness and unanticipated compliments to the bigger life things, like supporting your partner's dreams and practicing forgiveness. These actions not only keep your love alive and your relationship thriving but show your children what healthy love looks like.
3. Be playful and laugh together.
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Life and parenthood are undeniably hard, and sometimes it is difficult to find something worth laughing about. However, it is important to prioritize joy and laughter for several reasons.
For one, research shows that laughter bonds people together. The endorphins laughing releases promote feelings of togetherness and signal safety, both of which are important for a healthy family dynamic. Playfulness and laughter between parents show kids that, as challenging as life may be, you can always find joy together as a family. Laughter also reduces stress, improves your mood, relieves pain, and boosts your immune system.
4. Express gratitude for each other.
By thanking your partner for the big and small things they do to keep the household running, you show your children (and your partner) that their efforts don't go unnoticed or unappreciated. Their contributions — whether they are out earning money or working as a stay-at-home parent — are meaningful, important, and deserving of praise. It shows your kids that their parents love, respect, and admire each other, something they should expect in their future relationships.
5. Listen to each other.
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All of these gestures are about leading by example, both in terms of how your kids should act in future relationships, and what they should expect from future partners. No relationship can succeed without healthy communication, and active listening is important to ensure both partners feel respected and heard.
6. Forgive each other.
All kids want to know that they will not be shamed or tossed aside the minute they do something wrong, act out, or disappoint their parents. By modeling forgiveness and empathy, you show them that, while conflict is inevitable and everyone messes up from time to time, mistakes are not reprehensible. It creates a stable environment and demonstrates the power of a sincere apology.
Audrey Jaber is a writer and associate editor with a bachelor's degree in journalism.