Parents Who Raise Mentally Strong Girls Always Teach These 10 Powerfully Simple Lessons
Young girls need to learn these things to exist in the real world as mentally strong adults.
Jennifer Burk | Unsplash One of the greatest joys of my life is being a mom to my daughter. Her arrival into this world opened my eyes to things I never expected, reaffirmed my belief in the power of girls and women, and turned me into a fiercer feminist than I ever thought possible, mostly because I am aware that there are still many obstacles in the world that she will be faced with that her brother will never be.
It isn't fair, but it is reality and I want her to be prepared for it. There are so many things I hope she knows before she leaves the safe nest her father and I have created for her: how to stand up for herself, how to treat that body of hers with care and respect, and how to live boldly.
At some point, I know she will have to make her path away from me. I want that independence for her, but I also hope she'll enter the world as a mentally strong adult, and to get her there, I'm teaching her these powerfully simple things.
Parents who raise mentally strong girls teach these powerfully simple things:
1. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't
You make your destiny and decide what you are and are not capable of (it's okay to not be an expert at everything). Don't let anyone else set your path or break you down.
There are millions of women in the world who were told they couldn't be or do something who went right ahead and did it or became it. Be one of those women.
2. Be kind but not weak
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Don't judge others because they are different from you. Treat all humans equally and compassionately. Go out of your way to be kind, helpful, and loving.
There will be times when you need kindness from others, so pay it forward. Not only will kindness come back to you, but the action is a reward in and of itself. Parents should actively teach girls to be kind because kindness fosters crucial social and emotional development.
A 2022 study found that this includes empathy, compassion, strong relationships, and positive self-esteem, which are vital for their well-being and can help mitigate the potential negative impacts of gender stereotypes. Kindness is a building block for healthy social interactions and a positive sense of self.
3. Be tough but not rude
Speak up for yourself. Don't tolerate bad behavior, oppression, or harassment. Be brave enough to go after what you want, no matter how hard it is to achieve.
Life will knock you down, failures are inevitable, but brush yourself off and keep going. Persevere, my girl.
4. Find your tribe
Nothing is better than a strong squad of girlfriends who get you and celebrate your quirks, strengths, and differences. When you find these girls and women, hold tight, and when you realize that a friendship isn't making you better or happy, be confident in letting it go.
Actively teaching girls the importance of choosing good friends is crucial because strong, positive friendships during childhood and adolescence significantly impact their social, emotional, and mental well-being. They help them navigate challenging situations, build self-esteem, and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Conversely, a 2019 study found that negative friendships can lead to detrimental behaviors and decreased self-worth. The quality of a girl's friendships can significantly influence her development trajectory throughout life.
5. Try something out of your comfort zone
Be brave. Jump off the high dive, try a new hobby, or travel someplace all alone. You will learn new things about life and yourself, and that information will serve you well.
6. Live alone
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At least once in your life, live alone, without family, roommates, or a significant other. There is great value in finding out who you are without other people and in having time for self-reflection.
Parents should teach girls how to live alone, fostering independence, self-efficacy, personal agency, and resilience. These are crucial for navigating life challenges, especially when they need to live independently.
A 2023 study found that living independently can reduce vulnerability to exploitation or dependence on others. Potential gender-based societal expectations that can limit women's autonomy further emphasize this.
7. Work on being pretty on the inside more than the outside
As a girl, you're going to hear a lot about your exterior beauty and how to amplify it. There is nothing wrong with loving beauty products and pretty clothes, but spend as much energy on your inner beauty as you do your outer appearance. Only when you know and love yourself will you truly feel beautiful.
8. Find your passion and follow it
Look around at the world, discover new things, and figure out what excites and speaks to you. Whatever that thing is, I promise there's a way to incorporate it into your future career.
Don't settle for a life spent punching a clock; find a path that fulfills you, and work hard to find a way to eventually get paid to do what you love. (P.S. Work just as hard and enthusiastically at the entry-level jobs that will get you there.)
Parents should encourage girls to discover and pursue their passions. This will significantly impact their self-esteem, career aspirations, and overall well-being.
It will also help combat gender stereotypes and promote a sense of agency in their lives. A study published in the International Review of Research in Developmental Disabilities found that this is often linked to the concept of gender socialization, where girls may be subtly discouraged from pursuing specific fields deemed masculine.
9. Only invest in people who lift you up
In friendships and romantic relationships, you will find people who love you for who you truly are — and people who don't get you at all. That's OK. Just don't spend too much time or energy on the people who want you to change the big stuff in you.
Others will celebrate those same qualities, and those people are the ones you want to surround yourself with.
10. Love yourself first
It all starts with knowledge, esteem, and love for yourself. That is the basis of your future relationships, jobs, hobbies, and adventures.
And if you ever forget why you're so worthy of love, just ask me, and I'll gladly give you 100 reasons. A strong sense of self-love established early in life can significantly impact their mental health, resilience, and overall well-being.
A 2021 study concluded that this leads to positive outcomes like better-coping mechanisms, stronger relationships, and a more extraordinary ability to navigate societal pressures, particularly those related to body image and self-worth, which girls often face more intensely than boys. This foundation is built through positive interactions and parental affirmation during childhood development.
Katharine Stahl is a freelance writer and journalist. She has been featured in the Sydney Morning Herald, Yahoo, The Age, SheKnows, The Canberra Times, and more.