9 Signs You Grew Up In A Family Without Much Money And It's Affecting You Now
No matter how you grew up, you deserve to heal from your financial wounds.
Juan Pablo Serrano | Pexels Our childhoods have a direct impact on our habits as adults, especially when it comes to money. A person's attitude about money is usually deeply ingrained in their psyche, rooted in their parents' financial status and mindset.
Growing up in a family without money can have detrimental effects down the road. Money is more than just a practical entity, though. It's an emotionally charged subject that takes a lot of self-reflection to fully understand.
Here are 9 signs you grew up in a family without much money — and it's affecting you now
1. You worry about food
Drazen Zigic | Shutterstock
Having food security means you have unlimited access to safe and nutritionally adequate food. In contrast, experiencing food insecurity means you might not know where your next meal is coming from.
Food insecurity is a common occurrence for people who were raised without much money. The USDA defines food insecurity as "the limited or uncertain availability of nutritionally adequate and safe foods, or limited or uncertain ability to acquire acceptable foods in socially acceptable ways."
In 2023, the USDA reported that 98% of food insecure households worried their food would run out before they had enough money to buy more, 96% said they couldn't afford to eat balanced meals, and 97% said an adult in the household had to skip meals or cut the size of meals because there wasn't enough money for food.
Even if you make more money as an adult than your parents did, your feelings of anxiety around food don't always disappear. Your worries around food might stick around, despite having a fully-stocked fridge. You might save food after its expiration date or stock up on more food than you actually need.
Growing up in a family without much money can seriously affect your actions once you're on your own. Recognizing the patterns you fall into is the first step to making peace with your past and changing your present.
2. You save everything
Cast Of Thousands | Shutterstock
Another sign you grew up in a family without much money is that you save every household item you possibly can.
You don't get rid of anything deemed disposable. Instead, you choose to rinse and reuse them: From plastic bags to take-out containers, the phrase "one time use" doesn't mean anything to you.
You fill almost-empty shampoo bottles with water so you can keep using them. You squeeze the tube of toothpaste down to the very last drop. You keep clothes until they're threadbare, and even then, you feel guilty getting rid of them.
Compulsive saving is an indication that you have unresolved financial trauma, which can show up as having anxiety around spending, so much so that you underspend and over-save. Financial trauma is incredibly common: 25% of Americans report experiencing it, and 1 in 3 millennials, specifically, say they have it. Financial trauma can be triggered by past experiences, yet it can also be triggered by economic issues that remain out of people's control, like inflation, wage stagnation, and the rising cost of living.
Like other forms of trauma, you don't have to stay stuck in your financial trauma. Once you've named it for what it is, you can explore ways to free yourself from it.
3. You never buy any extras
Nicoleta Ionescu | Shutterstock
The ripple effects of growing up in a family without much money can last long after your childhood ends, and they often show up in subtle ways you might not even register.
If you go out to eat, do you skip dessert and only drink the water provided? Do you look for the least expensive item on the menu? Do you deny yourself a side of fries, even though you really want them? These are all indications that you were raised without much money, and you've grown accustomed to not splurging on anything extra.
Not buying extras is also tied to your sense of self-worth. You might be carrying the mindset that you don't deserve anything more than what you already have. Unpacking those complex feelings can help you move on from financial behaviors that no longer serve you.
4. You don't set financial boundaries
Ground Picture | Shutterstock
Setting boundaries is never easy, and setting boundaries around money is even harder.
Financial boundaries are limits you set around money, both for how you spend money and how you navigate money within your personal relationships. Yet if you were raised in a household where money was tight or seen as a taboo subject, you might not know where to even start in setting financial boundaries.
According to Forbes Magazine, a lack of financial literacy is often traced back to a person's "subconscious perpetuation" of their parents' financial education. Some people without financial boundaries avoid budgeting, saving, or planning for their future. Others make risky investments, because they don't have a foundational understanding of how money management works.
Like any other boundary, financial boundaries become easier to set with some practice. Locating and defining what's important to you and what your financial values are is an important part of the process, as is giving yourself grace while you learn.
5. You overspend
Gorodenkoff | Shutterstock
While some people deal with their limited financial past by saving every penny, others go in the opposite direction and overspend.
It's possible that being forced to stick to a tight budget in childhood has led your inner pendulum to swing the other way. You weren't allowed to buy trendy sneakers back then, so now, you buy everything you want, in the hopes that it satisfies some deep inner need.
Our spending habits have just as much to do with fulfilling our emotional needs as they do with meeting our practical needs. According to coach and consultant Amy Bracht, impulse spending is characterized by a sudden, urgent desire to purchase something immediately, without consideration.
Bracht shared that a major component to breaking the pattern of impulse spending is to cultivate self-compassion. "Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when facing financial challenges or setbacks," she said. "You are not defined by your spending habits… By cultivating self-compassion, you can reduce feelings of guilt and shame, which often contribute to impulsive buying."
6. Your lifestyle doesn't match your income
Pormezz | Shutterstock
Financial trauma manifests differently for everyone. While some people spend more money than they have and wrack up debt, others have a steady income but live as though they're still paycheck to paycheck.
Instead of overspending, you might be someone who lives well under their means, in that you make enough money but you're still stuck in the mentality that you don't.
This can show up in small ways, like turning down invitations to go out to eat or see the latest movie. It can also mean you don't give yourself permission to spend money in ways that nurture you, like going on vacation or getting a gym membership.
If your lifestyle doesn't match your income, that's a sign your family's past money woes are still affecting you now.
7. You fix everything yourself
BAZA Production | Shutterstock
In addition to saving household items after they're no longer of use, another version of that spendthrift behavior is if you try to fix things yourself, instead of calling in a professional. Maybe you patch your car up with duct tape when the side view mirror threatens to fall off. Maybe you break out the tool box and tinker with whatever appliance that's on its last legs.
Tradespeople like electricians and plumbers charge a high fee for their work, so it might make sense to you to avoid wracking up that particular bill. Just remember, time is money, too, and sometimes, reaching out for help is the best thing you can do.
8. You don't seek medical care when you need it
True Touch Lifestyles | Shutterstock
There's another money-saving technique you might practice that can actually cost you more in the long run: Not getting the treatment you need when you're sick.
It's possible that you rationalize ignoring your healthcare needs because of the financial impact, but the truth is, you deserve to take care of yourself. Doctors' visits and trips to the dentist aren't cheap, but skipping out on getting care might make your health issues more expensive to deal with later.
9. You overwork yourself
Elnur | Shutterstock
Your sense of financial insecurity from childhood might still be impacting you as an adult if you push yourself at your job way more than is necessary.
Overworking can occur for many different reasons. You might be a perfectionist who sets impossibly high standards for yourself. You might be a people-pleaser who can't say no when your manager asks you to take on a project. But you also might be overworking because you're scared that your job will disappear and you'll be set back to being low-income.
No one can predict the future, and overcommitting yourself to your job doesn't actually guarantee that you'll keep it. What overworking does guarantee is burnout, exhaustion, and higher stress levels.
No matter what your income is or how much money your family had growing up, you deserve rest and replenishment. You deserve to heal from your financial wounds and commit to your own inner peace.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.