7 Signs A Kid Isn't Ready To Go To College — Even If They're A High-Achiever
Don't rush them before considering these factors first.
Jacob Lund | Shutterstock As a parent, it’s natural to want the best for your child, including their success and financial stability. Because of this, it's tempting to lead our children toward going to college, even if they may not be ready and a degree isn't necessary to achieve their dreams.
Professor of Sociology Rachel Dwyer tells Harvard Law School Center that taking out student debt is a double-edged sword ( and something that shouldn’t be taken lightly). Student debt can hijack a kid's future, keeping people from pursuing rewarding careers due to the high cost of living with student loan payments. Unlike almost all other forms of debt, is not able to be cleared by bankruptcy without special action and standards. This is a serious responsibility to put on a 17 or 18 year-old!
So, how can you know if college is actually right for your child — even your high-achiever?
Seven signs even your kid isn't ready to go to college (and it might be a waste of money)
On the Open Relationships: Transforming Together podcast, host Andrea Miller had a mind-shifting conversation with Degree Free co-founder Hannah Maruyama about the burden of sending high-achieving kids straight to college with no question of whether it's the right choice for them.
To be clear, college is a great stepping stone for many, with some careers requiring a degree or certification. Every child who is interested in pursuing a degree should have the right to pursue that, regardless of financial background. But that doesn't mean every child is ready just because their parents believe it's the right choice.
1. They have no specific career goals — yet
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Does your child have a specific career goal in mind? If they do, congratulations, they might be ready for college — especially if that career requires a degree or is greatly aided by one.
If your child is like many of their peers, they have no idea what they want to do next. In this case, it can be best to give them a little bit of time to find what they truly want in life and mature into being able to make a more informed, conscious decision.
As Miller adds, "I always think you can't have emotional freedom without economic freedom. And if you don't have emotional freedom, it's hard to raise a healthy, stable family.”
So why rush them?
2. Their goals don't require a college degree
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When was the last time you asked your child about their goals outside of going to college? Most parents of high-achievers never even think about their kids' non-college goals.
For instance, maybe your kid wants to be an author, game designer, brand manager or content creator. For some of those options, a degree can be helpful, but not necessary. Focused learning courses and skill-development programs are likely a better option than a 4-year degree, depending on your child's current skill level and their interests.
The problem isn't that college isn't bad — not at all! The problem is that most kids don’t even know there are other options.
Maruyama adds, “And that is terrible because most jobs don't require the purchase of a college degree [...] And that's why we're setting them up for failure because they just don't know [the reality]."
So, these kids find themselves deep in student debt, not realizing there were other options all along.
3. They're not ready to take on student debt
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Student debt is no joke. According to the Education Data Initiative, “The average public university student borrows $32,362 to attain a bachelor’s degree.” But, it gets worse. For those wanting to pursue a master's degree, the average debt increases to $106,850.
Based on this, it’s completely understandable if your kid doesn’t want to take on that debt right away — and they shouldn't be pressured to do so.
So, give your child the grace and time to plan ahead and figure things out.
4. They can start ASAP at a job with growth potential
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Not all careers are built the same. For some careers, there is a potential for financial growth, without going to college.
Co-host Joanna Schroeder shares, “It is so emotionally detrimental to assume that every child has to be on the same path. My middle son is at a high school that has an auto shop program and a hospitality program.”
She continues, “My son's in the sports medicine program, where they come out with certifications from high school, and the kids that are in those programs are thriving.”
It's rare these days for high schools to have these programs on campus, but many of them do have programs through local colleges or tech centers where a kid can graduate with a high school degree and a certification that helps them start earning and growing their career right away. And this isn't just for people who want to be machinists or cosmetologists (though those are fantastic options, too).
“From tech to trades, machine learning, developers, midwives, drone pilots, sommeliers and more," these job opportunities have one thing in common: they’re “future building work” ends Maruyama.
5. They aren't managing their high school life well on their own
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Schroeder, author of the book Talk To Your Boys: 20 Crucial Conversations to Have With Your Tween and Teenage Sons (2025, Workman), says, “I don't like to undersell teenagers. They are smart. They do know what they want. They do know what they need. But it will probably change because of how their brain functions."
Adolescent brains are still developing, connecting their more instinctual, emotional reasoning centers with the more logical, thoughtful decision-making portions of the brain, including the prefrontal cortex.
In other words, teens are often making these life-altering decisions without fully comprehending what they’re doing. This is dangerous as it can lead to devastating financial collapse later down the road.
So, if we truly wanted to approach this the correct way, what should we do?
Maruyama says that adults shouldn’t be able to take out student loan debt until they’re 25. She describes it as “gross” the way these systems take advantage of children — and most of us would probably agree.
How can you know if your child is mature enough to handle college? First, look at how they handled schoolwork in their most recent school year (Junior or Senior year): were they handing in assignments on time, without your assistance or urging? If you never checked the Parent Portals, would your child have gotten the grades they were given or would they have floundered?
Were they able to communicate clearly with teachers or admin about problems or when they needed help? Were they making safe social choices or were they getting in trouble, requiring a lot of supervision?
These are all skills they need when they head off to college. If they are still highly dependent upon you to get their schoolwork done, communicate with other adults or stay out of major trouble, sending them off to a traditional four-year institution may be a recipe for disaster.
6. Parents are the main motivator for their high GPA
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Does your child struggle with staying motivated? Or, do you have to remind them a million times to turn in their assignments on time? Do you motivate them to get good grades with rewards or privileges like money or access to the family car?
This may be a sign they aren't ready for college. Why? Because they might be getting good grades to please you or to not be "punished" or to have access to the privileges or rewards. Of course, it's possible they are motivated by both parental incentives and their own drive to succeed, but you won't know unless you sit down and have an honest, emotionally supportive conversation.
Remember: when they go off to college they’ll be all alone. They’ll need to hold themselves accountable for showing up to class and turning their assignments in on time.
And if they can’t do it on their own, they may waste thousands of dollars or go into debt for no reason, dropping out after a few semesters.
7. They've expressed they weren't ready
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If your kid is on the fence about college, never pressure them into going. Instead, encourage their creativity or their passions.
Student debt isn’t something to be taken lightly, nor is their emotional well-being. Going off to college when you're not mature enough or prepared to handle the responsibility can really affect a person's self-esteem!
So, give them the space to figure things out and try encouraging your child along the way. Understand that not going to college right out of high school far from worst thing that could happen.
In fact, your child may feel empowered and more secure being able to make this decision for themselves. And that doesn't mean they will lie around your house watching TV all day. You can set parameters for the next few years while they decide, like they must have a job and/or be taking part in a career-track training program and contribute to the household chores.
An added bonus? If your child takes these "career years" (as Hannah calls them!) to focus on work and goals, they can likely get better financial aid later on when they do decide to go to college, as they will no longer be required to submit their parents' tax returns when applying!
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.