4 Secrets To A Stress-Free Thanksgiving If You Dread Seeing Your Family
How to embrace gratitude if you're struggling to find it this year.
Choreograph | Canva It's 2 PM on Thanksgiving Day, and you're in the kitchen, stressed out, covered in gravy, feeling tremendous pressure to get a large dead bird out of the oven at exactly the right time. You're cursing the day when you told your friends and family you would host this holiday, while everybody else in your home is in the next room watching football and relaxing.
If this sounds familiar to you or if just going to your families for Thanksgiving brings up anxiety, use these four steps to transform your holiday experience from harried and uncomfortable to meaningful and enjoyable.
Here are four secrets to a stress-free Thanksgiving if seeing your family is hard:
1. Stay connected to the meaning of giving thanks
With Black Friday looming just hours after Thanksgiving dinner, it's easy to get sucked into thinking about Thanksgiving as simply the kickoff of the holiday shopping season, filled with its own set of tasks and pressures. This year, make a point to use the entire week of Thanksgiving to focus on who and what you are grateful for in your life.
Consider keeping a gratitude journal or starting a new tradition on Thanksgiving Day for everyone to talk about what they are grateful for. Research from Harvard University confirms that practicing gratitude can make you happier.
If the prospect of seeing a member of your family or an in-law makes you tense — especially after the election —t ake a few minutes during the week to write down at least three reasons you have to be thankful for having that person in your life. Read over your gratitude points on Thanksgiving morning to help you reconnect with the true meaning of Thanksgiving.
2. Give your holiday a new twist
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If hosting Thanksgiving doesn't appeal to you or if your family's tradition is more stressful than fun, find a new way to share this holiday. Volunteer at a homeless shelter as a group or invite friends or colleagues to spend the holiday with your family. Research from 2023 shows that people who volunteer have better overall health and greater life satisfaction.
Share a simple meal together either at a restaurant or someone's home and then go do something fun together such as see a movie or go bowling or for a hike. Create a new ritual that everyone can enjoy.
3. Don't do it all yourself
If you have already committed to hosting Thanksgiving this year, make it as easy as possible by asking all your guests to bring at least one item or be responsible for a specific course such as appetizers or desserts. By spreading out the responsibility for the meal, you will not only cut down on food preparation time, but you'll also shorten the amount of time spent grocery shopping and help everyone take ownership of the holiday.
Make it fun and heighten the enthusiasm by announcing a contest where everyone will vote for the best dish brought by a guest. You'll be surprised how a cooking contest will inspire your family members to make something really special, even those who usually don't cook.
You can also buy certain items already made from a local caterer or grocery store and just warm them up on Thanksgiving Day. Evaluate each part of your holiday to see how you can make it simpler and more fulfilling.
4. Make time to relax and rejuvenate
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Ensure this is your best holiday season ever by giving yourself the gift of self-care throughout November and December. Talk to your friends and family about steps you can take as a group to lower stress, make your time together the most meaningful, and incorporate more healthy food and movement into holiday celebrations.
Considering the economy, most people will be interested in scaling back on holiday gift buying so, if you haven't already, start the tradition of drawing names to cut down on family gifts which will immediately unload gift-buying pressure and help you enjoy Thanksgiving more. Continue to exercise at least three times a week even if you just take a quick walk after work or do some stretching and strength training while watching TV.
Every amount of movement will help you feel better so find new ways to squeeze some exercise into your busy holiday schedule, such as taking the stairs instead of the elevator or going out dancing or on a walk with friends instead of meeting for dinner. Make at least 10 minutes or more each day for a relaxation technique you enjoy, either taking a warm bubble bath, yoga, meditation, journaling or laughing with a good friend.
However you choose to celebrate this Thanksgiving, take time for yourself and connect with the people you enjoy being with the most in your life. Setting your focus on gratitude will make your holiday lighter, more meaningful, and more fun and could create a practice that you may choose to carry over into your life long after Thanksgiving is over.
Eve Agee is the founder of the Transform Coaching Academy, which has been ranked as one of the top coach training programs in the world and helps people on every continent to become successful leaders and coaches. She has been featured on NBC, ABC, BBC, NPR, and more.