A School Project Made A Single Mom’s Daughter Decide She Never Wants To Have Kids
In a country with limited resources, she isn't the only one.
fizkes / Shutterstock If you’re a working, single parent, then chances are you haven’t had it easy, and you’ve had to make many sacrifices for your children.
While you likely wouldn't trade the parenting experience for the world, younger generations are learning the obstacles they’ll have to face if they want to have kids, and they want out.
One single mom shared how her daughter’s class was assigned a school budgeting project, and it made her never want to have kids.
In a personal story written by Emily Withnall on HuffPost, Withnall explained how her 15-year-old daughter’s ninth-grade class was learning about budgeting, and each student was randomly assigned a job, a salary, kids or no kids, and student loan debt or no student loan debt.
Each student was also given the choice to “marry” another classmate and pick somewhere to live in the country. They then had to create a monthly budget.
Withnall’s daughter, Talia, was assigned an income of $29,000 a year after taxes. She chose to marry one of her friends in the class to combine their incomes, and neither of them was assigned children. Even so, their budget only left them with $50 left over a month, which didn't allow room for entertainment, eating out, or savings.
Withnall only earned $28,000 a year as a single parent with two kids.
“Honestly, it is shocking for anyone to have to survive like that, and I know there are plenty of people who survive on even less,” Withnall said.
Withnall additionally revealed how she escaped an abusive marriage when her children were one and four years old. They lived in a small town where the cost of living was low, but she had to pay double her rent for the cost of childcare alone.
She had to work four to five jobs at a time just to make ends meet. Her family qualified for Medicaid and food stamps, and they ate simple meals and never went on vacation, with the exception of nearby camping trips.
Withnall explained the mental exhaustion and overwhelm she experienced navigating the “byzantine systems” of her state’s assistance programs. To apply for energy assistance alone, she had to fill out stacks of paperwork, and provide bank statements, check stubs, social security cards, birth certificates, and more.
She compared this process of qualifying for assistance, on top of all the required reporting and documentation for Medicaid and EBT benefits, to a part-time job. So much so, that when winter approached the next year, she decided to just add an additional job to her busy schedule, as it was seemingly less draining than applying for assistance.
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“It was hard to understand, given all the detailed information each agency required, why the myth persists that these systems are easy to access or that people can dupe the systems,” Withnall stated.
One student in the class was assigned a $24,000 annual salary with five children.
Talia’s classmate, Danielle, was curious to evaluate her options as a single parent and chose not to marry another classmate. She soon realized that she would never be able to make this lifestyle work on paper, but she was determined to discover her options.
Their teacher informed the class that those who were assigned lower incomes and several children could research their state’s requirements for safety net programs, like SNAP benefits, Medicaid, and cash assistance. The teacher did not, however, offer much guidance in seeking out these resources.
Withnall shared how this representation seemed intentional and was true to life, as she herself never received any guidance in seeking aid.
“Luckily, the students in Talia’s class don’t actually have to attempt to apply for these programs, but even the process of figuring out if they qualify can be daunting and can prevent access for people who need those services the most,” Withnall explained.
Talia told her mom she never wants kids, and Withnall doesn’t blame her.
“Mama, I don’t know how you did it,” she said. Talia, in addition to most of her classmates, agreed they never wanted to have kids after the eye-opening assignment. In fact, 45% of Gen Z and millennials don’t plan to have children.
Withnall shared that her daughter aspired to be a surgeon, and she planned to use her income to travel, donate, and buy a house. Withnall said she didn't know if she would ever be able to do those things herself.
Although she has found a secure job that pays well now, Withnall was still hustling, taking on additional side jobs to support herself and her family.
“Living as a single parent on a low income in this country with such limited resources of support is hard. Our child support system is broken. Our healthcare support system is broken,” Withnall claimed. “I continue to hold out hope that I can stop hustling someday and let my body rest and recover.”
Withnall's story is one of many, and >it sheds light on a massive issue within our government and its limited access to resources for lower-income families. But beyond that, the current state of the economy has created a generation of young people who are much more aware of the financial struggles raising a family entails and it affords them an opportunity to make informed decisions about their savings and future.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, and spirituality topics.