11 Sad Ways Authoritarian Parents Create Submissive & Obedient White Collar Workers
They're raised to follow rigid rules and pursue unrealistic standards from a young age.
GaudiLab | Shutterstock Authoritarian parents tend to set high expectations, with little support and room for mistakes, according to a 2022 study on parenting styles. It's typically a one-way street when it comes to communication, similar to the relationship between a boss and an employee, with strict rules and a hierarchy of demands.
Children of authoritarian parents also tend to struggle with independent emotional regulation and self-esteem, according to a 2017 study, urging them to feed into institutions like Corporate America centered around company loyalty, rigid expectations, and structure. Even if it means pushing them to burnout by following demands of employers with little pushback, it's one of the many sad ways authoritarian parents create submissive and obedient white collar workers.
Here are 11 sad ways authoritarian parents create submissive and obedient white collar workers
1. They teach unwritten rules about authority
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"A lot of working-class people are raised in authoritarian parenting, which is a lot of obedience culture," work coach and researcher Dr. Anna Kallschmidt revealed. "You know who the hierarchy is. You do what they say. You are not equal with your parents. They give you direct commands. There are clear consequences to violating them."
Even if they know there are certain unwritten rules to the workplace — similar to in their household growing up, like simply agreeing with a person of authority, even when you have differing perspectives and opinions — they know that compliance without question is the key to stability.
Even if people who grew up in an authoritarian household tend to hate these rules and their unrealistic standards, it's familiarity and knowledge that allows them to succeed in restrictive work environments.
While submissive and obedient white collar workers may despise the overlap in trends between the workplace and their family structure, they know how to navigate it, allowing them to find job stability and appease the company loyalty Corporate America expects and occasionally celebrates.
2. They equate obedience with respect
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In authoritarian households, parents usually teach their kids that following rules, not making mistakes, and never pushing back gains them respect, love, and affection. In some ways, they may even weaponize and withhold the affection that other parents give unconditionally to "motivate" their children to do what they want.
In the workplace, specifically in white collar corporate jobs that value company loyalty and submission from employees, this mindset may occasionally serve them well. But when it comes to truly growing personally, gaining respect for growth, and advocating for better benefits and compensation, this mindset is hardly fruitful.
They may often confuse compliance and obedience with success in the workplace because, similarly to their parents, it's what their companies and bosses approve of.
3. They teach their kids to never push back
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When authoritarian parents set expectations and rules in their households, their children are punished for ever speaking their mind. Whether it's making a mistake, giving their opposing opinions, or pushing back on parental expectations, there's a strict hierarchy present that condemns children for not being submissive without reservation.
According to early childhood educator Tracy Trautner, this parenting style and the authority structure they create tends to breed resentful, insecure, and codependent children who struggle to think for themselves. In some cases, they may rebel against authority later in life, but for others, they're drawn to toxic hierarchical systems — like white collar jobs in Corporate America — that breed a sense of familiarity.
If they can't build confidence and independence on their own, they feel secure in knowing how to navigate a similarly authoritarian dynamic, even if that means continuing to never speak their mind and follow rigid rules toward burnout.
4. They raised them to follow orders
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Rather than teaching their kids how to be independent, similar to how other authoritative and collaborative parents do, authoritarian parents thrive when their kids are codependent. They can set rules without pushback, force their kids to do things without a fight, and breed submission in ways that make their lives in the present moment "easier."
However, in adulthood, it's these children who feel resentful of their parents' overwhelming sense of authority, while also seeking it out in certain ways in their new relationships and careers. Their parents essentially sabotage them, influencing the health of their relationships later in life by encouraging codependence and obedience, like a study from the Journal of Family Psychology explains.
5. They tell their kids how to feel
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Part of the reason why many kids from authoritarian households grew up to lack emotional intelligence is because they were told how to feel. Whether it was demonizing their expressions of emotions — like grounding a child for crying in public — or punishing them for speaking their mind, they weren't given the freedom to express their concerns or feel their emotions.
For the same reason, they tend to suppress discomfort in the workplace in ways that prompt burnout, anxiety, and exhaustion. They overwork themselves, follow rules, and flood their workloads in the office to appease their bosses — similarly to how they work to protect themselves from the wrath of their parents early in life — even though it's detrimental to their own well-being.
6. They reward perfection
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Rather than teaching their kids that it's okay to make mistakes and put in effort, authoritarian parents push their kids to be "perfect" 100% of the time. Not only does this encourage them to adopt toxic perfectionist mindsets in their adult life that sabotage their personal well-being, it also tends to damper relationships and connection, according to a study from Behavioral Sciences.
Rewarding and expecting perfection is one of the sad ways authoritarian parents create submission and obedient white collar workers. They teach their kids to put their own needs, emotions, and opinions to the side for the sake of pursuing unrealistic and harmful goals.
7. They weaponize shame
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Rather than supporting their kids when they make a mistake to prompt confidence and internal growth, authoritarian parents weaponize shame. They make their kids feel embarrassed, shamed, and guilty from a young age, even in public spaces, for making mistakes and not following their orders.
In adulthood, these same children still grapple with that internalized shame, struggling to support and guide themselves through periods of adversity and situations where they may not be 100% comfortable, confident, or knowledgeable.
They're more afraid to make a mistake than they are to sabotage their well-being and relationships, which may help their employers to squeeze out extra work and hours from them, but ultimately puts them at risk for burnout.
8. They use fear to teach lessons
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According to therapist Janet Brito, the fear-based parenting tactics that many authoritarian parents leverage to get what they want teach their kids to fear authenticity, independence, and communication.
They were taught to fear what a person in authority might do or say in response to their "opposition" — even if it's simply speaking their mind in a work meeting — so the development of obedience and submission is simply a coping mechanism.
Outside of influencing their career choices and professional dynamics, fear-based parenting and control can also prompt mental health concerns in adult children from authoritarian households, according to a study from Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology.
9. They discourage autonomy
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By upholding their own expectations, setting strict rules, and weaponizing the kinds of experiences — like emotional support, love, and affection — that should be offered unconditionally to children growing up, authoritarian parents discourage their children from practicing independence and regulation.
In adulthood, they're often submissive in their relationships and professional lives, afraid of what might be taken away from them if they speak their mind or go against the norm. It's one of the sad ways authoritarian parents create submissive and obedient white collar workers, but it also tends to spark a cycle of toxic relationships in their adult lives as well.
10. They micromanage their children
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In the same way a micromanaging boss stifles creativity, independence, and productivity, micromanaging parents sabotage their kids ability to grow into independent adults. They don't know how to think for themselves, make informed decisions, or even regulate their own emotions in uncomfortable situations, because their parents told them how to feel and micromanage every experience early in life.
For the sake of familiarity, this dynamic often follows these adult children into their professional lives. They know how to navigate the unwritten rules of a micromanaging person of authority, so they may succeed in the standards of a white collar job, but fall short on prioritizing personal well-being and growth.
11. They celebrate obedience, not creativity
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Kids who grew up in authoritarian households were hardly celebrated in expressing their own opinions, being creative, or thinking outside of the box. They were taught that compliance and subordination were more important by praising them for following rules and condemning them for pushing back.
Parents who prioritize emotional support and warmth teach their kids to be creative and independent, according to a 2023 study, but authoritarian parents who lack those skills instead breed a transactional relationship and do the opposite.
It's one of the sad ways authoritarian parents create submissive and obedient white collar workers who not only typically fall into traditional workplace environments that rigidly oppress creativity and innovation, but also lack the independence to craft fulfilling personal routines and rituals to prevent burnout and exhaustion.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
