11 Rules People Had Growing Up That Were Actually Just Their Parents Being Tired
Most parents think they won't enforce certain rules and expectations... until the kids actually come along.
shurkin_son | Shutterstock Raising kids is not for the weak — any parent knows that. Before people have kids, many envision the rules and expectations they will have for them, like never feeding them fast food or not allowing screen time. Having all of these rules is easy when there are no kids to follow them yet, but once they're here, parents may find themselves having to make course corrections.
Kids can be draining, and when parents are feeling exhausted, their ability to engage, reason, or compromise is limited, and they turn to rules as a quick solution to maintain order and minimize conflict. And it's evident by the rules people had growing up that were actually just their parents being tired.
Here are 11 rules people had growing up that were actually just their parents being tired
1. They weren't allowed snacks after a certain time
Evgeny Atamenenko | Shutterstock
One of the rules people had growing up that were actually just their parents being tired was not being allowed to have snacks after a certain time, usually before or after dinner. This rule wasn't always the result of parental concern about their children's diet and metabolism; rather, it was likely a result of exhaustion.
Some parents were so tired that they needed to set aside time for their own self-care and rest.
By creating rigid rules like this, they could ensure they got the rest they needed to recharge for another day of parenting. Plus, eating too late in the evening has been shown to disrupt sleep and cause behavioral issues.
2. They had limited screen time
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock
While screens can swoop in and save the day for exhausted parents by providing their kids with entertainment, it can just as easily turn into a back and forth screaming match when parents try to make them put the screens down.
Some parents opt to allow their children to have a strict limited window of when they are allowed to be on their screens, and make these expectations clear so it isn't a shock when they tell them to put them away. Cutting back on screen time has also been proven to make some kids calmer and more cooperative, which is what all exhausted parents need.
Studies, including one published in Paediatrics & Child Health, have shown that parents can positively influence children's social adaptive skills, sleep patterns and behaviors by being involved with and setting limits on their screen time.
3. They had to do their own laundry
Evgeny Atamenenko | Shutterstock
Laundry can quickly pile up in family homes, especially when the kids are involved in sports or are notoriously messy. It can be a lot for already exhausted parents to keep up with additional loads of laundry that aren't even theirs, with someone else's clothes cycling through the washer and dryer each day before they are expected to be neatly folded.
Therefore, parents may implement the rule that once their kids reach an age where they are able to learn how to operate a washer and dryer and to fold clothes, they are responsible for their own laundry. This rule does more than take some of the household obligations off of exhausted parents' shoulders.
According to curriculum creator and homeschooler Dachelle McVey, doing their own laundry teaches kids how to respect their belongings, responsibility, and gives them a sense of pride and independence.
4. They packed their own lunch for school
fizkes | Shutterstock
According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, parents spend an average of 0.09 hours per day on activities related to their children's education. This totals to over 24 hours per year. A school-related task that takes up much of a parent's time that we often overlook is packing their kids' lunches.
After an entire day of scrambling to get them ready for school, getting them to and from school, helping them with homework and taking them to extracurricular activities, some parents just want their kids to be self-sufficient when it comes to this one responsibility. Having kids pack their own lunch for school also eliminates any potential fighting that may occur when a parent packs something a child doesn't like.
5. They weren't allowed to talk back
VGstockstudio | Shutterstock
Exhausted from answering every one of their children's questions and demands, parents may enforce a strict no talking back rule to reduce the amount of whining they have to hear, making it one of the rules people had growing up that were actually just their parents being tired.
Sometimes, parents simply do not have the energy to argue, and shut down any of their children's petty comments when they are attempting to defy the rules. Even though they may tell their kids that talking back is "rude," the truth is many parents are so burnt out they do not have the stamina to explain each and every decision to their kids.
6. They had a curfew
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock
Curfews are not just for safety reasons. According to board certified pediatrician Dr. Karen Gill, "Setting a realistic curfew can help your... child stay safe at night, get enough sleep, and learn how to make responsible choices about how they spend their time," stressing the importance of communicating "when you expect them to arrive home each night" and creating "consequences for being late."
Parents are already exhausted after a long day, and want to ensure that all of their children are within the four walls of their home by a certain time so that they can sleep peacefully. While they certainly do not want anything bad to happen to their kids at all, it would be worse if something happened to them as their parents slept through it since they never enforced a curfew.
7. They had to do their homework immediately after school
Evgeny Atamenenko | Shutterstock
To avoid constantly having to ask their kids if they've done their homework yet and fighting with them to get it done in the morning when they are both rushing and exhausted, some parents may implement the rule that all homework must be completed immediately or shortly after their kids get home from school.
This way, parents can also make themselves available to answer any questions instead of being asked as they are getting ready for bed in the evening. And clinical experts from the Child Mind Institute indicate that parents should utilize a "homework planner" that will establish a steady homework routine that will work for both children and parents.
8. They had quiet time everyday
fizkes | Shutterstock
One of the essential rules people had growing up that were actually just their parents being tired was the implementation of "quiet time." To exhausted parents, there is nothing sweeter than the sound of silence. After dealing with chaos most of the day, parents may enforce mandatory "quiet time" for a certain period of time each day where their kids are required to entertain themselves however they want, as long as it's quiet.
Quiet time also allows children to recharge, giving them a break from constant stimulation. "Constant stimulation can be harmful in some ways," Laura Hlavaty, PhD, pediatric psychologist, shared. "Kids find it difficult to know what to do in unstructured times, especially when there are no screens. They struggle to sit still, relax and unwind, and parents feel a responsibility to entertain their kids when they're bored."
9. They couldn't have friends over during the week
Inside Creative House | Shutterstock
Weekdays can be filled with homework, extracurricular activities, and family responsibilities. That is enough for most exhausted parents to handle. While they may have no issue with hosting playdates on the weekends when there may be more free time, some of them are strictly against their children having friends over during the week since it will add to the chaos.
Parents already have enough to deal with when it comes to their own kids during busy weeks. They don't want to have to also worry about kids who aren't theirs.
10. They weren't allowed to ask for anything before a certain time in the morning
christinarosepix | Shutterstock
The moment kids open their eyes in the morning, their mouth immediately follows. They pepper their parents, who are still visibly sleeping, with "Can I have breakfast?" and "What are we gonna do today?" And while providing meals and a routine are normal for parents, they may end up setting rules against asking questions before everyone has had enough time to adapt to the day so far.
For parents who depend on their beauty sleep, they may forbid their children from entering their rooms or asking for anything before a certain time. It may feel strict to kids, who are used to their parents answering their questions immediately, but it gives parents a reprieve to energize for the day ahead.
11. They had to keep all of their belongings in their bedrooms
Volurol | Shutterstock
Exhausted parents are already doing enough heavy lifting. They don't want to spend even more of their time picking up toys and other accessories that belong to their children off the floor. That's likely why the rules people had growing up that were actually just their parents being tired included keeping personal belongings out of community areas, like the living room, kitchen, or bathroom.
According to professional organizer Regina Leeds, "Our ability to organize begins at a young age through the modeling and messages we receive from our parents. Being raised in a home where we weren't taught the skills to maintain order, we inadvertently may fall into the habits of disorder and unfortunately pass along these non-serving habits to our children, rendering them incapable of organization until they take it upon themselves to learn the essential organizational skills, to eliminate, categorize, and organize."
By enforcing a strict "keep your belongings in your own room" rule, parents keep their kids organized and reduce having to constantly clean up after them. Additionally, this can instill in children the necessary boundaries to turn them into resilient adults in the future.
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.