Kids Who Turn Into Overly Sensitive Adults Usually Have These 11 Reasons
Their sensitive tendencies are a result of the way they grew up.
My Agency | Shutterstock Adults are sometimes told they are too sensitive, usually because they set boundaries with people who are consistently pushing their limits. Sensitive people may be perceived as burdensome because they stand up for themselves when they are being wronged.
There are very specific reasons kids who turn into overly sensitive adults usually have, often stemming from growing up in tumultuous households. Perhaps their emotional needs were neglected or they felt tremendous fear and anxiety, which have followed them into adulthood.
Here are 11 reasons kids who turn into overly sensitive adults usually have
1. They always senses fear in their home
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Children want their home to feel like a safe place where they feel no anxiety and have no fears, and can truly be themselves. But one of the reasons kids who turn into overly sensitive adults usually have is that they lacked a sense of safety growing up.
Children who grow up in a perpetual state of fear end up with behavioral and emotional problems as adults. As psychologist Carl E. Pickhardt, PhD stated, "In general, it is better for the early adolescent to be angry at parents for providing too much protection than anxious because they have provided too little."
Parents who are physically or emotionally cruel end up with anxious children who are in a constant fight or flight response, perceiving threats everywhere they go. Children who grow up like this end up sensitive to anyone who attempts to have a conversation or a disagreement with them. They take things personally and ice others out, hindering the potential for a social connection.
2. They experienced social anxiety growing up
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When children turn into adults, they may carry the same social anxiety they experienced as a child. They may have purposefully isolated themselves to minimize their experience, including panic attacks, nervousness, or even shaking.
A study from the Israel Journal of Psychiatry and Related Sciences found that worry leads to avoidance, with psychologist Anna Kroncke, PhD adding that about 3-6% of children experience this kind of anxiety, with a higher rate found in teenagers. According to Kroncke, being quiet is one of the first signs of social anxiety to look for in children, as well as low self-esteem and bullying.
3. They lived in an unsafe home
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Children who grew up in unsafe homes tend to suffer from a variety of different physical and mental disorders, developing aggression, depression, and stress. Emotionally and physically aggressive parents permanently scar these children to the point that they may see running away as the only option.
According to human behavior expert Dr. Abbie Maroño, "Emotional safety and nurturing in the home are crucial for healthy brain development. When a child feels loved and secure, their brain is more likely to develop in a way that supports positive emotional regulation, cognitive abilities, and social skills."
She continued, "The absence of emotional safety can have devastating effects on a child's psychological and physical development. In contrast to that of a loving home, chronic stress from an unsafe home environment... can damage the developing brain, leading to issues such as impaired memory, difficulty concentrating, and increased risk of mental health disorders."
A safe home for a child can help them build their confidence and feel emotionally safe, while growing up in a volatile environment makes them susceptible to mental health issues as adults.
4. They grew up in a toxic environment
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Living in a toxic environment is one of the most significant reasons kids who turn into overly sensitive adults usually have. Perhaps their parents were constantly arguing, or they were subject to frequent neglect. No matter what they experienced, children who live in toxic home environments are forced to survive on their own.
As a result of growing up in such toxic conditions, kids who become adults are sensitive to conflict. They may shrink themselves in order to remove themselves completely from the situation.
Research from Psychology and Behavioral Health found that children's brain development is affected negatively by toxic environments. The study revealed that being exposed to toxic environments can lead to stress being released out of the body. One of the solutions posed in the research is to give parents the resources they need, as many children from neglectful homes live on the poverty line.
5. They lived in survival mode
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When kids and teenagers are forced to constantly be in survival mode, they may grow into extremely sensitive adults. They were likely forced to take care of themselves or their siblings, and had to mature much faster than someone their age.
Sensitive adults who grew up in survival mode are extremely independent, but with that independence comes other issues. According to Newport Institute, "Hyper-independence is not a mental health condition, but it is a stress response triggered most often by childhood trauma."
They continued, "More often, though, hyper-independence is a coping mechanism developed in response to childhood trauma, often in the form of neglect. When caregivers don't sufficiently respond to children's emotional needs, are inconsistently available, or are totally absent, children learn that people are unreliable."
In addition to being overly sensitive, children who grew up like this don't rely on others for help, rationalizing that they can handle the situation, even if they can't.
6. They were constantly stressed out as children
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According to the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, there are negative effects of children who are constantly stressed out growing up, which affect the mind and body, their emotional responses, their ability to learn and think, and impact their concept of self.
"When a child grows up afraid or under constant or extreme stress, the immune system and body's stress response systems may not develop normally. Later on, when the child or adult is exposed to even ordinary levels of stress, these systems may automatically respond as if the individual is under extreme stress," they wrote.
"Stress in an environment can impair the development of the brain and nervous system. An absence of mental stimulation in neglectful environments may limit the brain from developing to its full potential."
As one of the reasons kids who turn into overly sensitive adults usually have, they may feel incredibly anxious in their adult life. And it's all because it's a response to the stress they experienced as a child.
7. They lacked a basic routine
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Children need routine so they stay organized and focused. Routines are pre-determined tasks or promises that parents create for their children, intending them to follow these rules to prepare for adulthood.
According to PBS Kids, routines encourage positive behavior, safety, social skills, self-control, and provide opportunities for learning. Additionally, one study from the Journal of Family Theory & Review found that routines are significant in "child development, emphasizing their role in fostering cognitive, emotional, and academic skills."
When children lack a basic routine growing up, they turn into sensitive adults who become more susceptible to learning difficulties and may lack structure. Without guidance, adult children are left to fend for themselves.
8. Their parents never encouraged or praised them
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One of the reasons kids who turn into overly sensitive adults usually have is the lack of encouragement or basic praise from their parents. They grew up in a home where nothing they did was ever good enough, and perhaps had overbearing parents who believed their children would never measure up to their standards.
According to child psychologist Kenneth Barish, PhD, "Children need praise. We all do. From early in life, children look to us for praise and approval, and to share moments of pride... we should be generous, not stingy, with our praise." Parental criticism can cause low self-esteem in children that lasts into adulthood. For critical parents, praise is viewed as a reward rather than a tool of encouragement to branch out.
The more a child is encouraged at home, the better they do later in life. For children who turned into sensitive adults, they can learn to manage the lack of praise in their childhood by going to therapy and gaining the knowledge and tools they need to move past it.
9. They weren't taught to process their emotions
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When kids aren't taught how to regulate and express their emotions, they end up becoming highly sensitive adults who also can't regulate and express their emotions. It makes it more difficult to connect with other people on a deeper level, and can be stressful or even dangerous if they can't express how they feel in a healthy way.
Licensed psychologist Jonice Webb, PhD points out that children who learn that their emotions are a form of weakness judge themselves harshly over the smallest things.
These children are deemed too sensitive, dramatic, or emotional for their parents to handle, and instead of soothing them, their parents shut down the possibility for connection. This can emotionally stunt them.
10. Their parents were neglectful
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Neglect appears in many different ways. Parents can emotionally neglect their child by dismissing their feelings, invalidating their experiences, not providing proper attention, not showing affection, and not being emotionally available. And growing up in a neglectful home is one of the reasons kids who turn into overly sensitive adults usually have.
Research from the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry found that parental neglect is linked to psychiatric disorders. Of the 1,700 children involved in the study, 3% perceived their parents to be emotionally neglectful and controlling, with the odds of this group developing a psychiatric disorder increasing overall.
11. They had a strong empathy for others
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Children may have strong empathy towards other people that follow them into adulthood, creating a very sensitive individual. They may show compassion as a result of all the dark things they witnessed in childhood, trying their best to spread that kindness and empathy.
According to clinical psychologist Samantha Rodman Whiten, "There are numerous ways to ensure that your child has the greatest possible chance to learn to be kind and empathic to peers. All of them are easy for you to do at home, from the time that your child is conscious of the social environment (around toddlerhood), onward."
While teaching children empathy isn't easy, especially with parents who may not be present or provide their kids the opportunities to show kindness, parenting consultant Albiona Rakipi says this trait is taught by leading with compassion when interacting with others.
For adult children who grew up to be sensitive, they may not have been shown that kindness in their own homes. And now that they've grown up, they don't want anyone to feel the way they once did.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author with a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.