Pregnant Woman Wonders If She's Wrong For Refusing To Allow Mother-In-Law In Delivery Room
Her husband said he wouldn't be there without his mom's presence.
voronaman / Shutterstock From pregnancy announcements to gender reveals and baby showers, there are many phases of pregnancy that extended families and friends get to celebrate together. However, most would agree that the actual action of childbirth is not one — that is, aside from one husband who issued an ultimatum to his wife after she refused to let her mother-in-law be in the delivery room while she gave birth.
The pregnant woman's mother-in-law wanted to be in the delivery room during the baby's birth.
"She brought her request up at dinner table and blatantly said that she wanted to be in the delivery room with me when I give birth," the woman wrote in a Reddit post.
Unsurprisingly, the woman wrote that she was "taken back by her request," being that giving birth is a very personal experience. After explaining that she only wanted her husband and her own mom in the delivery room, the mother-in-law made a fuss, leading the pregnant woman to tell her, "You can have the opportunity to be in the delivery room when it's your son who's giving birth."
The response made her mother-in-law leave the table and everyone went silent. Her husband then urged her that they should leave. Once they did, he lost it on her as well and said "what brain cell" made her think it was a good idea to tell his mom that.
"I told him his mom kept pushing after I'd already given her an answer," she wrote, and apologized for the remark — but her defense wasn't good enough for her husband. "He then ranted about how it's his son too and then said if his mom isn't allowed in there then he won't be there too."
According to experts, the people surrounding a mom during delivery have a significant impact on the mom's health.
Giving birth is an extremely personal milestone, one that can often be as painful and traumatic as it is beautiful. For this reason, at least 63% of women prefer not to have anyone in the room with them while they deliver, according to a 2018 study.
For those who do choose to have people in the room, it's crucial that they're surrounded by people they trust. According to Penny Simkin, co-founder of DONA International and PATTCh (Prevention and Treatment of Traumatic Childbirth), "It’s not always the events of the birth the mom remembers but how she was made to feel."
Simkin noted that moms who feel unheard and neglected — exactly the situation the mom in the Reddit post experienced — during childbirth are more likely to experience birth trauma and postpartum depression.
People in the Reddit comments came to the pregnant woman's support immediately, assuring her that it's her choice who she lets into the delivery room as it's her body.
Further, many agreed that she may want to reconsider the future of her marriage as well, especially considering the woman explained that "there has been some tension between me, my husband, and his family lately this probably blew up because of built up resentment."
As one person wrote, "The reality is that your MIL just did you a favor here because your husband siding with her is showing issues in your marriage and the difficulties you're going to face when it comes to decisions about your pregnancy or your child."
Megan Hatch is a writer at YourTango who covers news & entertainment, love & relationships, and internet culture. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.