Pregnant Woman Refuses To Allow Grandmother-In-Law In Delivery Room Unless Her Husband Is Fully Unclothed Too
The only person who decides who gets to be in the room is the one doing the birthing.
Roman Samborskyi | Shutterstock This is a public service announcement to all mothers-in-law: The delivery room in a hospital does not have an open admission policy. If the person in active labor doesn't want you there, you can't get in. It seems like common sense, but something goes haywire in soon-to-be grandmas' brains when grandbabies are being born that throws all that sense right out the window. But what happens when a mom-to-be is married to a man who has lost said common sense, and wants the whole extended family in the room to watch the event?
That's the dilemma a pregnant woman named Sunny Lena is facing after her husband informed her that he would like his grandmother to be in the delivery room when she gives birth. Instead of flat out saying no, Lena agreed but with a very important and kind of hilarious condition. Grandma is allowed to attend the birth if, and only if, her husband is as naked as she is!
The woman refuses to allow her grandmother-in-law in the delivery room unless her husband agrees to be fully undressed in front of her.
Lena took to TikTok to share her story. At the seventh-month mark, there's, understandably a lot of talk and prep regarding the baby's arrival. That's totally normal. What isn't normal is receiving a text from your husband asking if his grandmother can attend the birth.
Lena initially assumed he was making a joke, given the fact that he asked her over text, and she wasn't even allowing her own mother in the room. But she really wasn't sure. Instead of rolling the dice, she decided to give him an ultimatum. “I pretty much texted him back, and I was like, listen, if you want her in the room, you need to be for at least an hour, butt-naked in front of her showing everything off, and when you can do that, then she can absolutely come to the room,” Lena said.
Her husband responded that Lena’s request was “ridiculous.” But apparently, taking your grandmother to watch your wife give birth like it’s a spectator event is not! “I truly hope, for his sake and for my own, that we are not about to have a big fight about this,” Lena said.
Having support in the delivery room is important, but it should be at the discretion of the mom-to-be.
Doulas or birthing coaches exist as an occupation because having a labor support person can be an integral part of the birthing process. Doctors will often recommend that expectant parents think about who will be in the room with them to help them through what can be an exciting but also scary experience.
In fact, research has shown that a good labor support person can actually make birthing easier, even lowering the risk of medical intervention and pain medication. For some women, an experienced mom who can just let them know that everything they are going through is normal is key, and for others, that person might be a spouse or partner.
Ultimately, however, that choice is up to the woman doing the actual labor. Yes, Lena's husband was likely joking about his grandma being in the delivery room, but some women are faced with multiple extended family members vying for a spot to be the first person to see the newest family member.
While these requests to be in the delivery room might seem outrageous, it's important to remember that they are done out of love. It's best not to burn bridges with family who just want to shower you and the new baby with love. Etiquette experts stress that you should say no but do it with kindness. You're going to want these aunts, uncles, and grandparents to be a support system when you and the baby are home.
The only person who should have a say on who can be present in the birthing room is the one doing the birthing.
“Don’t negotiate. Just say NO. Keep it short and sweet. YOU call the shots,” one TikTok user commented. “You can even block HIM from being in the room, so please remind him of that,” another user noted.
Others insisted that if the husband wanted his grandmother to be in the room with his wife during a medical procedure, then he should be comfortable allowing her family members to watch him undergo a colonoscopy.
Thankfully, Lena posted a follow-up video revealing that her husband was indeed joking.
Still, there are some husbands who believe that their family members are entitled to be in the delivery room when their wives give birth and are not joking. People tend to forget that unless you are an obstetrician, the one giving birth, or the other parent of the baby, you do not have a right to be in the delivery room.
Childbirth is one of the most intimate and vulnerable experiences for a woman, and having a crowd of people, she isn’t comfortable with surrounding her can rob her of the immense joy and love people usually feel when welcoming their children into the world. It is also important to remember that, like any medical procedure, emergencies can arise during birth. It makes it all the more difficult for medical personnel to do their jobs and only adds more stress on the mother and baby.
If you are a man, we doubt that you would want your wife’s family in the room while you are undergoing a vasectomy or any other vulnerable medical procedures.
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.