Pregnant Woman Doesn't Want To Reveal Baby's Gender To Husband — 'Why Does He Get To Enjoy The Good Parts And Not Help With The Hard Parts?'
Being pregnant is one of the most challenging experiences women face.
NDAB Creativity / Shutterstock It should be obvious that carrying a child is no easy job. The challenges and health complications that come with pregnancy can be debilitating. According to John Hopkins Medicine, some of these complications include Hyperemesis Gravidarum, Gestational Diabetes, Placenta Previa and Preeclampsia, just to name a few.
Though there is extensive scientific evidence of pregnancy complications, some men will just never understand the severity of the pain their wives endure.
One pregnant woman has had enough of her husband's insensitivity and threatened not to share the baby's gender with him.
The woman took to Reddit to share her experience and find out if she was wrong for feeling upset at her husband. In the AITA post, she shared that she is five months pregnant and dealing with Hyperemesis Gravidarum, which is often referred to as severe morning sickness. This condition can cause pregnant women to struggle with eating and keeping food down, leading to a lack of nutrients and vitamins, which can harm both the mother and fetus.
Still working 30 hours a week, she shared how both she and her husband work night shifts until around 5-6 a.m., but her husband decided to join a work football group on Wednesdays after he gets off work, and he gets home around 7:40 a.m. The woman said she wanted to take advantage of this, given her circumstances, and have her husband take their seven-year-old son to school at 8:40 a.m. after his football group. He would only have to stay up an extra hour, and it would help her immensely. It was only one day a week, after all.
With agitation, her husband agreed, but he ended up falling asleep instead, leaving his wife frustrated, sad, and picking up the slack.
"This is sending the message that he has time for football but can’t spare an extra hour to help me," the woman expressed.
The woman wants to exclude her husband from 'the good parts' of her pregnancy.
They have an upcoming ultrasound to find out the gender of their baby, and her husband's plan was to share the news of their pregnancy with everyone. She wrote, "I don’t want to reveal to everyone I’m pregnant and I feel very uncomfortable having someone there who has not supported or helped me through it all."
In fact, she doesn't even want to find out the gender of the baby, and she doesn't even want to go to the ultrasound. She confessed, "Why does he get to enjoy the good parts and not help with the hard parts?"
Photo: PonyWang from Getty Images Signature / Canva Pro
She expressed her extreme vulnerability, loneliness, and depression, over her husband's lack of support. She explained that even during the worst of her symptoms of Hyperemesis Gravidarum he would say, “ah you’ll feel better soon," when in reality, she could struggle with HG through the rest of her pregnancy, according to Mount Sinai.
It's an enormous struggle to get through pregnancy, but it's an even bigger one to do it on your own.
The woman claimed her husband barely does anything at home or for his son, and he lies about his involvement with his family to his parents and friends. The woman said she is the only one who cleans up around the house, sickness and all.
"I spend my free time getting things done while he spends his doing whatever he likes. I’m just in the background it seems," she wrote.
The woman shared how she "absolutely wasn't ready" when she found out she was pregnant. In fact, her initial choice was to get an abortion, but her husband manipulated her decision. He begged her to keep the baby.
The woman continued to share more about her situation as Reddit users replied with questions and concerns. She revealed how she doesn't have any friends or family to support her and her mother-in-law relentlessly judges and gossips about her.
She further shared how she had a rough upbringing, with a mother who did not want her and let her boyfriend physically and mentally abuse her.
The woman loves her children, but can't tolerate her husband's selfish and negligent behavior anymore.
The woman expressed her immense love for her son and how she couldn't imagine a world without him. She said her experience growing up has "made me all the more determined to give my children everything I couldn’t have. I understand what love is now. I understand now how being a child is supposed to be."
Photo: victorcoscaron / Canva Pro
Unfortunately, her partner is not the man she needs him to be.
She expressed how she has no idea what to do, and is likely carrying more stress than she can handle due to the pregnancy, her sickness, her hormone levels, and her husband's neglect.
A hands-off dad can change but it takes hard work and open communication from both partners.
At the end of the day, this woman, although she is struggling now, needs to know that she and her kids are going to be okay, regardless of how involved her husband is. She is filled with love and hope and that's half the battle.
If you or somebody that you know is experiencing a mental health crisis, there are people who want to help. Call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or send your zip code via text to 435748 (HELP4U) to be connected with the Crisis Text Line.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, and spirituality topics.