Parents Gave Each Of Their Kids $53K For College — Their Daughter Earns Six Figures But They Kicked Out Unemployed Son
They want their son to find his own footing instead of giving him more money to go back to school.
fizkes / Shutterstock A father was accused by his son of treating him "unfairly" after asking for financial help and being denied.
Posting to the subreddit r/AITA, the father shared that he and his wife tried their hardest to provide for both of their children but are at their wit's end when it comes to their son.
They gave each of their kids $53K for college. Years later, their daughter earns six figures while their son is unemployed.
In his Reddit post, the father explained that he and his wife started saving for their kids to go to college quite early but didn't anticipate that schools would soon become extremely expensive. By the time their kids were off to college, they had around $106,000 saved and each child received $53,000.
"They could go to college with that money or they could withdraw it after 21 but that was all the money they had and we weren’t contributing more," he explained.
"My daughter went to the in-state university and lived at home. She finished with a degree in business with almost no debt," he shared. "Our son decided to go to a more expensive school and paid rent with the tuition there being $27K a year. We tried to talk him out of it but he wouldn’t listen and we gave up and told him he would have to pay his own path."
After two years, his son had used up all of the money and wanted to switch his major, meaning another year of school. He asked his parents for more money but they informed him that he got all of the money they had from his educational fund. Angered, he refused to take out loans and began working.
They told him he could move back in with them during the pandemic to save money since he lost his job. He was able to pick up another job relatively fast, though it didn't pay him as much as his previous one. His father also noted that his son wasn't being smart with his money, and would buy miscellaneous items instead of saving.
"He recently got a better job but it still doesn’t pay what he needs to go back to college and he started spending it on video games and clothing," he wrote. "Four years later he still hadn’t saved any money and his sister is now making six figures and it’s making him feel bad."
The parents eventually told their son that he had to move out within three months.
After some time, his son was let go since the company likely noticed that he wasn't putting any effort into his job. Now that he's on unemployment, he wants to go back to school but the money isn't enough, so he again asked his parents for more.
"We told him again all the money we were contributing was in the education fund and he chose to go to an expensive school. He complained he didn’t understand what that meant at 18 and it was our fault for letting him," the man wrote. "We didn’t let him — we tried to talk him down but he wouldn’t listen and I couldn’t force him to go to the cheaper school."
His father told him that he should take out loans to study at a cheaper school, but his son disagreed, saying that he shouldn't be paying for his own education — that it's something his parents should be funding instead. They ended up getting into multiple fights about the issue of tuition, and he believed that his parents were treating him horribly for refusing to give him money.
Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock
"He also stays up late partying and comes home at midnight disrupting our sleeping and refuses to do chores even when he is living rent-free," the father added. "We didn’t have any choice but [to] give him three months' notice to move out and he moved out last week to be with friends."
His father recalled that right before moving out, his son claimed that he didn't want his parents involved in his life moving forward, including attending his future wedding or meeting his hypothetical children. "My wife wants to just pay for his schooling so he doesn’t end up a loser," the man wrote, though he still disagreed, refusing to give any more money to his son.
People online agreed that the father was not wrong for kicking his unemployed son out.
"Your son has issues and is entitled. By giving in to his demands you’re enabling in him. You can support [him] by helping him access mental health services or seeing a financial aid advisor together," one Reddit user advised. "You did the responsible thing — you saved for his education and presented options. You’re a good parent."
Another commenter added, "He’s trying to guilt trip and manipulate you into giving him more money while not taking responsibility for his own choices. Also, how does he plan on getting married and having kids when he’s unemployed and couch-surfing? You’re showing him tough love. Stay strong. Throwing money at him will not solve his problems."
"He's not a loser because he didn't complete college, he's a loser because of his attitude," a third user chimed in. "Hopefully, now that he's away from you he will mature. Sometimes having parents around just allows adult children to regress into a teenage kind of mentality. They would never get away with treating their roommates like they do their parents."
It's clear that this young man's parents obviously care deeply about him and his future. They want the best for him and despite how cold he feels his parents are being, they only want him to stand on his own two feet without receiving any more financial help from them.
However, at 18, there is such a burden of responsibility on young people's shoulders to figure out what they want to do for the rest of their lives.
Money to a freshly-turned 18-year-old isn't something they can think smart or logically about, especially when it comes to investing it in a future that they can barely imagine. There's already an immense amount of pressure for teenagers fresh out of high school to make something of themselves, whether it's going to college or not, and that's slightly unfair.
It's completely fine for high school graduates to be uncertain about the next chapter of their lives, and there shouldn't be this expectation for them to have all of the answers when they're still children. When it comes to financial literacy, that's something young people have to learn on their own, unfortunately, because it isn't taught in schools.
It's up to parents to make sure their children understand the value of money, whether it's earned through hard work or an educational fund or trust.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.