Your Parents Did A Great Job Raising You If You Have These 10 Values
Be sure to thank your parents for raising such an incredible person.
Ground Picture | Shutterstock It's easy to dismiss the lengths that parents go to in order to give their kids a stable and happy childhood. When parents are emotionally available and able to meet their kids' needs, they set their children up for success later in life.
Parents have a complicated role. They're protectors and teachers, yet they have to let their kids learn some hard lessons for themselves. They take their life's knowledge and pass it down, instilling their children with the values they need to develop their own moral compasses.
Parents often don't realize the impact they have until their kids grow up and live according to their values, showing kindness, empathy, and inner strength. Your parents did a great job raising you if you have these values, and they deserve to be celebrated for helping you become your most authentic self.
If your parents have these 10 values, they did a great job raising you
1. You're compassionate
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If you're a compassionate person, your parents did a great job raising you. Having compassion allows you to recognize, validate, and relieve other people's pain and suffering. As important as it is to show compassion to others, it's equally as important to be compassionate with yourself.
According to psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff, compassion is rooted in the realization that failure, suffering, and imperfection are essential parts of the shared human experience. With that realization comes a sense of warmth, understanding, and kindness, which Dr. Neff defines as the three main elements of compassion.
She shared that self-compassion is basically treating yourself like you would treat a close friend in times of trouble. "Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with your failings," she explained.
Having self-compassion means that you accept your flaws while working to be the fullest version of yourself that you can be. "You may try to change in ways that allow you to be more healthy and happy, but this is done because you care about yourself, not because you are worthless or unacceptable as you are," Dr. Neff noted. "Perhaps most importantly, having compassion for yourself means that you honor and accept your humanness."
If you're compassionate with yourself and the people around you, your values are in the right place, which shows that your parents did a great job raising you.
2. You have a resilient mindset
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If you have a resilient mindset, it means your parents nurtured you when you needed to be nurtured, but they didn't rescue you from making mistakes or facing challenges. They stood beside you and supported you through tough times, without solving all your problems for you.
According to licensed clinical social worker Cheryl Gerson, the key to raising a kid who can survive life's challenges is letting them feel discomfort. "Kids need to realize getting what you want doesn't always come easily," she explained. "That's the best way to raise an emotionally resilient child."
"If they can learn to bear the temporary uncomfortable feeling of being 'wrong,' long enough to get curious about their missteps, your kids can develop a 'growth mindset.' The 'growth mindset' welcomes ongoing discomfort and dissatisfaction with some excitement, pleasure, and satisfaction mixed in," Gerson concluded.
Being resilient means you don't back down from adversity. You don't let failing stop you from working to achieve your dreams. Resilience allows you to see setbacks as opportunities to learn more about yourself, and knowing yourself more fully propels you further on your life's journey.
3. You're patient
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Having patience is another value that shows your parents did a great job raising you. Being patient isn't easy, especially in a world that moves fast and prioritizes instantaneous gratification.
An impatient person might look at other people and wonder why they deserve to have certain markers of success. In contrast, a patient person doesn't fall into the trap of comparison. They know that it takes time, effort, and determination to get what they want.
While impatience can cultivate feelings of inadequacy, patience brings a sense of inner peace. As they say, good things come to those who wait, and your patience will benefit you in the long run.
4. You have humility
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Being humble means you recognize your limitations along with your inherent worth. You don't brag about your accomplishments or put others down to lift yourself up. You don't rely on external validation to define who you are, because you recognize that everyone holds value, no matter what.
According to psychology professor Daryl R. Van Tongeren, Ph.D., someone with intellectual humility is able to admit that they don't have all the answers, which is also a sign that they're highly intelligent. They own up to their limitations and they don't force their beliefs on others. Intellectually humble people are willing to change their beliefs, and that open-mindedness keeps them grounded and curious about the world around them.
If you have intellectual humility, you tend to be more tolerant and accepting of differences. You know what they don't know, which gives you a widened perspective. You're respectful of people you don't agree with, which is definitely a sign your parents did a great job raising you.
5. You're generous
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Generosity translates into sharing what you have without expecting any return on your investment. It means you show up for people in your community. Being generous doesn't mean neglecting your own needs for other people, which is more reflective of people-pleasing behavior than generosity.
According to the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, being generous has psychological benefits. While they defined generosity as "giving good things to others freely and abundantly" without expectations, research has shown that being generous makes people happier. Small acts of generosity can boost your mood, and sustained acts of generosity bring longer term happiness.
As a generous person, you harness your unique gifts and offer what you can to help others thrive, because you know that when one person wins, everyone wins.
6. You're dedicated to your goals
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Everyone has things that matter most to them. Some people find a deep sense of purpose and meaning in their jobs. Others center their relationships, their hobbies, even their connections to the natural world. As certified professional organizer Diane Quintana explained, a major part of managing your time well and reaching your goals is knowing what's most important to you. She revealed that the first step to developing strong time management skills is to decide what you want to pay attention to.
"Remember to place your focus on things that support the way you want to live," she advised. "It can be tempting to place your focus on something that your peers think is important. Resist that temptation, unless it also aligns with what matters to you."
Your goals might not be huge or life-altering, but even small goals are worth working for. Maybe you want to travel to a city you've never been to before. Maybe you want to cook every recipe your grandma used to make. Maybe you just want to keep your succulent garden alive for more than a month. Every goal you set brings you closer to being your fullest self, and that's the most important part of all.
7. You focus on forgiveness
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Making mistakes and hurting people we love is an unavoidable part of being human. While everyone makes mistakes, not everyone has the emotional capacity to hold themselves accountable for the harm they've caused. If you focus on forgiveness and work toward repair, your parents did a great job raising you.
According to licensed clinical social worker Terry Gaspard, the ability to ask for and grant forgiveness is a direct indicator of relationship satisfaction and lifelong love and commitment. "Understanding how to forgive yourself and others is about being willing to acknowledge that you are capable of being wounded," Gaspard explained. "It also means that you are willing to step out from the role of victim and take charge of your life."
She acknowledged that forgiveness takes time, yet practicing forgiveness can be empowering and healing. Letting go of grudges and understanding that we're all imperfect allows you to focus on forgiveness, which shows that your parents did a great job raising you.
8. You have self-respect
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While a lack of self-respect means you ignore your emotional needs and criticize yourself for everything you're not, having self-respect means that you accept yourself, whole-heartedly.
Life and career transformation coach Lisa Petsinis revealed that self-respect is the origin point for feeling good about yourself, and "feeling good about yourself means recognizing your value." "Take stock of what you bring to your relationships, work, and community," she advised. "Everyone has a unique set of talents they bring to each situation. Find your gifts and honor your contributions."
"To be happy, you need to fall in love with yourself," Petsinis explained. Loving yourself means respecting yourself. It means showing up for yourself and not compromising your values for anyone else's benefit. If you have self-respect, you were probably raised by parents who gave you unconditional support and love, and they did a great job raising you.
9. You're curious
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If the spark of curiosity you held in childhood carried into your adulthood, your parents cultivated your love of learning by letting you ask endless questions and helping you discover the answers. They believed in your creativity and passion, and they let you walk the path that fulfilled you most.
Being curious means keeping an open mind and exploring the world like it's perpetually changing, which it is. You read every book you can find and you strike up conversations with strangers, because you never know what wisdom they have to share. You're always seeking, and your thirst for knowledge comes from parents who did a great job raising you.
10. You're grateful
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You practice gratitude for everything in your life, even the hard parts, because your parents showed you how strong and capable you really are. You're grateful for the lessons you learned in the past and the opportunities your future holds. You're grateful for the present moment: For the sun shining through your kitchen window, for the steam rising off the mug of tea you hold in your hands. You're grateful for your hands, and everything they let you make and touch and do.
You have deep gratitude for the people around you and you let them know just how much you love them. As psychotherapists Linda and Charlie Bloom revealed, "The gift of gratitude does not diminish our own happiness; it amplifies it. The more we give it away, the more we possess."
Being a grateful person means that you recognize the value of your relationships, which is why you should let your parents know how much you appreciate them for doing such a good job raising you with values that enhance your life.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.