Parenting Coach Reveals What Parents Want To Tell Their Kids Before They Leave For College
It's an emotional time for kids and for their parents.
SpeedKingz | Shutterstock Graduating high school and starting college is a major milestone for every 18-year-old, full of anticipation. It’s also a milestone for the parents of those incoming freshmen, whose feelings might be a little mixed as they send their kids out into the world.
A parenting coach shared a heartfelt message that parents want to tell kids before they leave for college.
“This video is for the kids going off to their freshman year in college,” Kim Muench said. “This is what your parents want you to know but may not be able to say.”
Muench spoke from the perspective of a parent sending their kid off to college, saying, “We will miss you more than we could ever say, and we’ll bite our tongue and not say it when we leave you because we want you to be brave and we believe in you.”
“It’s our job as your parents to hold our big feelings in place so that we can hold space for yours,” she continued.
Her statement captured an elemental truth about parenting and boundaries. A parent who sets healthy boundaries is able to check their emotions and not let them spill over onto their child so that their child can make the decisions that are right for them.
It’s not that parents don’t deeply miss their college kids; it’s that they don’t want their emotions to get in the way of their child’s life without them.
Muench acknowledged that part of a young adult’s transition to college is learning how to communicate from far away.
“If we call or we text too much, be kind as you tell us to bug off,” Muench said, touching on another example of setting healthy boundaries.
“If you decide to send a random snap to me, it’s gonna make my day,” she continued. “You might see some random snaps and texts and videos about the dogs because they miss you, too.”
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Muench shared a common thought process that many parents of college students have. They want their kids to explore their new environment, but they also want them to be safe and make good choices.
“Believe it or not, even though it seems like a million years ago, we do understand and completely empathize with how exciting this time is,” she said. “We just want you to be safe while you have fun.”
The narrative around college frames those four years as “the best time of your life,” when the reality isn’t always so easily defined. Leaving for college is often a double-edged sword.
College students are stepping into a new era, yet they’re also saying goodbye to the life they’ve always known.
In her message to college students, Muench pointed out all the mixed emotions a young person is likely to feel as they start off on their journey into adulthood.
“As much as you want your independence, we know that you will, at moments, miss the safety and the comfort of home,” she said. “It’s totally okay to acknowledge your feelings.”
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She raised a toast to the parents letting their children go, noting that they’ve done the hard work of raising their kids so that those kids can enter the world confidently.
“Finally, we know you’re going to be fine because we did our best to prepare you for this point in your life,” Muench concluded.
“Go get ‘em,” she exclaimed.
College isn’t the right choice for every 18-year-old, and as the cost of higher education grows more unaffordable with each passing year, many young people are exploring other options.
Muench’s message holds true for parents whose kids are starting trade school, starting their first job, or taking a gap year to figure out what they want to do next.
Watching your kids enter the next phase of their lives is bound to bring up a whirlwind of emotions, from gratitude to loneliness and everything in between. Parents everywhere should be proud of all they’ve done to prepare their kids to become the adults they were meant to be.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture, and all things to do with the entertainment industry.