Exhausted New Mom Feels Relieved After Hearing The Parenting Advice Her Mom Left For Her On The Doorbell Camera
"I’ve been feeling the pressure to get back to doing all the things now that I’m 4 weeks postpartum."
Kaspars Grinvalds via Canva Pro A mom has admitted that dealing with postpartum exhaustion was truly getting to her until her mother left a sweet message on the doorbell camera to remind her daughter that perfection in parenthood doesn't exist — and that's more than fine.
In a video posted to Instagram, Monica Murphy shared that she was still recovering from giving birth to her third child when she began feeling this pressure to get everything back to normal. That was until she heard her mother's blunt yet truthful admission.
Murphy felt relieved after hearing the parenting advice her mother left on the doorbell camera.
Murphy, a content creator from Vancouver, Canada, shared the sweet and endearing message her mother left on her home doorbell camera after noticing how exhausted and stressed out her daughter was.
Murphy had been recovering from a C-section and on top of that was caring for a newborn and her other children, who are all under the age of 4, with two of them still nursing.
"My mom came by to help out this morning and she could tell I was stressed … I’ve been feeling the pressure to get back to doing all the things now that I’m 4 weeks postpartum," Murphy wrote in the Instagram caption of the video. Some of those expectations she listed included going back to work, maintaining a clean house, being present with her kids, making time for herself, making time for her husband, and making time for her friends.
The list went on and, overwhelmed with all of the "things" Murphy felt she had to complete, she acknowledged that this wasn't something a single person would be able to put all of their energy into, at least without completely ruining their mental and physical well-being. Murphy didn't even tell her mother that she was feeling this insane amount of pressure, but she was still able to pick up on her daughter's switch in attitude.
While Murphy's mother, Nancy, was on her way out, she told her daughter something she needed to hear, and it happened to be caught on Murphy's doorbell camera.
Photo: Alena Ozerova / Canva Pro
"They're never gonna remember if they had a clean house," Nancy McCurrach said. "They're gonna remember how much you love them and hang out with them."
Murphy urged mothers to go easy on themselves when it comes to things they're able to accomplish versus the things they don't.
In her post, Murphy shared some parting words of wisdom to any mother who needed to hear the parenting advice left by her mother.
"I don’t know who needs to hear that today, but let my mom be the one to tell you. It’s okay if all you did today was keep happy children alive. Snuggled them, played with them … you are doing the most important job of all."
According to the Pew Research Center, mothers are more likely than fathers to say that being a parent is tiring (47% vs. 34%) or stressful (33% vs. 24%) all or most of the time. Mothers are also more worried than fathers about whether their children will face hardships, like being bullied or struggling with anxiety and depression, and they’re more likely to say that they experience judgment about their parenting from friends, other parents in their community, and other parents online.
Similarly, a majority (58%) of mothers said they do more work providing comfort or emotional support to their children, while the same share (58%) of fathers said that this task was shared equally. The only area where mothers and fathers agreed that the work was shared equally was when it came to disciplining their children, and even there, 31% of fathers said that they did more of the work, compared to 36% of mothers.
In an interview with Today, Murphy admitted that she "broke down" crying after her mother pulled out of the driveway. "I really needed to hear that," she said. "And I decided to share it because I knew other moms need to hear it, too."
Photo: kate_sept2004 / Canva Pro
At the end of the day, motherhood isn't meant to be perfect all of the time, and women should be comfortable with doing the bare minimum sometimes because as long as they're showering their children with love and affection, nothing else should matter.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.