Mother-In-Law Wants To Raise Her Grandson Alone For 3 Months So His Parents Can 'Live For Themselves'
She believes it is what's best for the baby, but her daughter-in-law disagrees.
Martin Novak / Shutterstock A woman is at odds with her overbearing mother-in-law after she allowed her to meet her baby for the first time. The woman’s mother-in-law, who lives in a different country, decided that a three-week visit was not long enough — and suggested taking the baby back home with her.
The mother-in-law asked to raise her grandson on her own for a few weeks so that his parents could ‘live for themselves.’
Alina, @alinamotherhood on TikTok, shared that she and her husband recently reunited with her mother-in-law who lives in a different country. It was the first time she was able to meet the couple’s 5-month-old son.
After spending a few weeks with the baby and tagging along on vacation with his parents, Alina’s mother-in-law could not imagine going back home without knowing when she would see her grandson again. She asked Alina and her husband to let her bring their baby back home with her for a few months.
“She said that she would be able to provide care and concern for her grandson,” Alina shared. “She believed that I did not care enough about my son, which really insulted me.”
Alina was understandably opposed to the idea of her mother-in-law taking her son.
Though she claimed her husband supports her decision, he insisted that his mother “just loves her grandson very much and wants to see him as often as possible.” However, her living situation does not allow her to do so.
Eventually, Alina and her mother-in-law reached a compromise that would allow the baby to stay with his parents and still see his grandmother.
“We met her halfway and promised to come to their homeland in a couple of months for a couple of weeks,” Alina revealed. Although, she can not guarantee this, as traveling with a baby to a different country is undoubtedly challenging.
“No matter how difficult it may be for my husband and I, we bear full responsibility for our baby and do not want to shift it to anyone,” she added.
Still, Alina cannot help but feel offended that her mother-in-law believes that she is incapable of taking care of her own son. So much so, that she thinks taking him to a different country away from his mother would be best for him.
Photo: Martin Novak / Shutterstock
Commenters were outraged on Alina’s behalf, and could not believe that her mother-in-law would even make such a suggestion.
“If she loved him like claims to, she wouldn’t even suggest separating him from you,” one TikTok user noted of Alina’s mother-in-law.
“She would become my ex-mother-in-law after that and I would make it a point never to see her again after insulting me,” another user shared.
“Never leave him alone with her. You don’t know what she’ll do,” a third commenter encouraged.
While Alina claims that she and her mother-in-law have a good relationship, she shared that her mother-in-law has a habit of offering unsolicited parenting advice. She has repeatedly made it clear that she disagrees with her daughter-in-law's parenting decisions, such as not putting socks on the baby while he’s indoors, not bathing the baby every day, and not vaccinating him.
Still, there is no reason to separate a baby from his parents and move him to an entirely different country while he is still developing. In fact, according to research, separating them could be detrimental, particularly during the first two years of life, when the child's brain development relies heavily on the loving bond of a primary caregiver.
Evidence suggests that "parental inconsistency" can lead to long-term health issues, as well as, a lack of self-esteem and reduced overall happiness.
Parents must set clear boundaries with their in-laws when it comes to their children.
By establishing expectations upfront, both parties can navigate their roles more smoothly and maintain positive relationships. Boundaries create space for healthy interactions between grandparents and grandchildren. When everyone knows their roles and limits, relationships can flourish without unnecessary tension or stress.
While Alina’s mother-in-law certainly has the right to visit and get to know her grandson — as long as his parents allow it — she is not entitled to rip him from the only home he has ever known just because she opposes his mother’s parenting decisions and would rather have him near.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.