Mom Upset Her Daughter's Grandma Threw Her A Birthday Party — But The Grandmother Has Custody Of Her Kids
"It is not her kids. They are mine."
Halfpoint / Shutterstock A mom expressed her frustrations with her 8-year-old daughter’s grandma purchasing a cake and throwing a birthday party for the girl, claiming she’s tired of the “competition.”
The mom took to TikTok to vent about feeling like she can never compete with her daughter’s grandma, who also has custody of all her kids.
The mom, Vero, couldn’t do much for her daughter’s birthday this year as she was feeling sick, but she purchased a small cake and some cupcakes and celebrated with her oldest daughter, her sister, and the girl’s dad.
Upon discovering that her kids’ custodial grandma also bought her daughter a cake and is additionally planning to throw her daughter a birthday party, the mom couldn’t help but feel bothered by her mother-in-law’s seemingly manipulative attempts to one-up her.
“It gets on my nerves that the person [my kids] live with decided to throw them a party every single … year,” Vero stressed. “And I feel like she’s doing it on purpose like it’s a competition or something.”
She also expressed a strong aversion to the excess of sweets her kids will be consuming, with more than three birthday cakes.
“It’s not like I’m jealous or anything of her buying my kids stuff,” Vero explained. “It’s just that it gets on my nerves because she knows I don't like giving my kids so much sweets.”
The mom claimed TikTokers reacted to her videos with judgment without knowing the full context of the story.
Vero has since taken down all of her comments for her videos upon receiving backlash for complaining about her kids’ grandma.
“You guys did not understand the video at all,” she said. “I am getting so much hate for it.”
In a follow-up video, Vero addressed the numerous comments she received on her video, elaborating on how she doesn’t have anything against her kids’ grandma — she simply doesn’t want them consuming so much sugar.
“Most of you guys think I’m not fit to have my kids with me, that's why they were taken away,” she said. “No, that’s not the answer. I’m really fit actually. I have a full-time job and I have an apartment.”
Vero explained that she and the mother-in-law are neighbors, and she gets to see her kids nearly every day and they have spent the night with her on various occasions.
“The reason why they were taken from me is because I had postpartum depression … I did not have any support at all,” Vero expressed. “Instead of helping me, they made it worse by taking them away.”
Vero explained that she lost custody of her kids eight years ago and tried fighting to get her kids back for over two years, doing everything social workers instructed her to do, from graduating from parenting classes to attending therapy, but to no avail. She is continuing to stay as involved in their lives as she can, with the hopes of eventually regaining custody.
“Before judging anyone, you guys should know that there’s a story behind it,” she emphasized.
The mom’s experience serves as a prime example of why it’s unfair for individuals to cast judgment on moms who lose custody of their kids.
There are myriad reasons why parents lose custody of their kids, and it is not always easy to regain custody. Sometimes, a parent is not in the best position to raise a child on their own, or they experience health challenges that inhibit their parenting abilities, and they need help from relatives.
However, it is immoral to criticize parents who have lost custody without knowing the full context of their story. No parent is perfect, the same way no family is perfect, and we must always give individuals grace for growing past challenging circumstances.
While the mom may have been out of line to take to social media to complain about her mother-in-law rather than going to her directly about her concerns, she was simply seeking an outlet where others could hear her out and understand her concerns. Regardless of her position, it is admirable that she is still dedicated to staying involved in her kids’ lives.
Overall, Vero expressed gratitude for her mother-in-law loving and caring for her kids, but it’s natural for any mom to feel slightly concerned and bothered by another woman’s attempts to outshine her efforts. It’s clear that Vero has experienced a rocky path to getting her kids back in her life, and it only makes sense why she may feel fearful that her mother-in-law is trying to win them over.
But at the end of the day, there is nothing inherently wrong with a grandma wanting to throw her grandkids birthday parties, and Vero recognized this.
If she truly feels uncomfortable with some of her mother-in-law’s actions regarding her kids, then maybe she should consider having a mature discussion with her where her feelings can be heard, and they can meet each other halfway.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.