Woman Who 'Always Wanted To Be A Boy Mom' Says Her Son Has Her Heart — Despite Having A Little Girl Too
Boys raised to be codependent on their mothers are unable to form healthy relationships with other people in their adulthood.
VGstockstudio / Shutterstock A mom named Avery Woods shared her love and adoration for her son online, but seemingly forgot to express that same sentiment for her daughter.
In a TikTok video, Woods received criticism for being a stereotypical "boy mom" who is "obsessed" with her young son.
She declared that she 'always wanted to be a boy mom' and that her son has her heart... despite also having a daughter.
In Woods' since-deleted video, she claimed that other "boy moms" may be able to understand her when she says that her son has a special place in her heart that doesn't quite apply to her daughter. She explained that her son, Ziggy, is the biggest light of her life, and that while she is obsessed with her daughter, Stevie, it isn't the same.
"My whole life I always wanted to be a boy mom and I remember when I found out I was pregnant with him — I was just ecstatic," Woods recalled, adding that she was such a "tomboy" growing up that she felt it would be easy for her to raise a little boy.
She remarked that the point of making the video was to show her followers her son's preschool photo. Gushing about her reaction, Woods said she had cried when she opened her email and saw her son's face.
Showing her son's school photo from last year, she explained that she noticed such a huge difference in his appearance and that he was really growing up before her eyes.
"I am so obsessed with this child," Woods said, admiring the outfit she dressed him in for the school photo. "The old grandpa knit sweater with the little dress pants. He is too much. I just had to share that because I've been staring at that photo all day long."
She encouraged parents to remember to squeeze their young children extra tight because of how quickly time flies. She insisted that she couldn't believe her son would be six and going into kindergarten this year, especially when she remembered how tiny he once was.
The sentiment is adorable, and it's true — parents often feel incredibly nostalgic as their children grow older. However, the issue many people had with Woods' video wasn't her sadness over her son growing up.
Rather, the problem is the weird 'boy mom' phenomenon that Woods is seemingly a part of, especially when she is also the mother of a young girl.
This "boy mom" topic has been spoken about by many people online, including a content creator and mother named Brianna Alexis, who explained that having a son can make a lot of women exhibit toxic behavior. She argued that it's something women have to actively work on so that they don't end up being a boy mom in the stereotypical sense.
Alexis claimed that mothers of sons will often gush about how they love their boys differently than their girls, which is evident in the way sons are treated by their mothers. She added that this is likely because of husbands.
"Do your own research on family enmeshment," she advised. "A lot of women don't get the emotional fulfillment and satisfaction from their husbands. Through their son's life, they rely on their son to give them that."
The daughter of a 'boy mom' pointed out that little girls can sense the favoritism between them and their brothers.
In response to Woods' video, Jess, a mom and adult daughter of a "boy mom," admitted that she found the video to be a bit problematic, particularly in the way that Woods was speaking about her son compared to her daughter.
"Boy moms are something else because they'll do the whole, 'No, I love my girls but my boy...' Just so you know, your daughter knows," Jess said. "As the daughter of a boy mom, we know."
She claimed that even if daughters are told by their mother that she has no favorite child or one that she loves more, they can still pick up on the unspoken cues and notice the difference in the way they are treated. According to Jess, the worst part is that once a mother realizes that her daughter always knew, it's too late to do anything about it.
"To all the boy moms, your girls feel that more than you realize," Jess insisted. "You exude it in every possible way. You don't need to tell us. You love your boys more, it's obvious."
Not only is this unhealthy attachment detrimental to the relationships mothers have with their daughters, but it also doesn't do much for the sons either.
When boys are raised to be codependent on their mothers, they are unable to form healthy relationships with other people in their adulthood, especially romantic ones.
It's completely fine for a mother to have unconditional love for their sons, and this is not to say that Woods has developed an unhealthy attachment to hers. Still, there's a difference between loving a child and using a child, especially a son, as a stand-in for the love that a woman lacks in her marriage.
A son should never be a replacement for a toxic boyfriend or husband, but rather, a child that you nurture to become an adult, independent of their parents.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.