Mom Says Daughter’s Nontraditional Wedding Plans Are Breaking Her Heart — ‘I’m Not Sure I Want To Be There’
Momzilla does realize it's not HER wedding… right?
Roman Seliutin | Shutterstock There doesn't seem to be any amount of discourse about modern weddings, narcissistic parents, boomer obstinance, or any other issue that will stop some moms from thinking their kids' weddings are actually about them. It's 2025, we've been talking about this for literal years. And yet… another wedding season, another mom who thinks she's the main character.
It's a tale as old as time. A mom wants to see her daughter pulling out all the stops on her wedding day, including the princess dress and astronomically priced reception, and the daughter doesn't want any of that.
A mom confessed that her daughter's nontraditional wedding plan is breaking her heart.
Okay, go call a therapist. There! Article over! I'm kidding, of course, but just the very concept of this is ridiculous on its face. That hasn't stopped this very angry mom from being so upset about her daughter Alexa's pending nuptials that she literally wrote into Dear Abby asking for advice about it. Oh, brother.
"DEAR ABBY: My oldest daughter, “Alexa,” is breaking my heart," the mom dramatically wrote. "She’s engaged to a nice enough man she’s been with for five years, but she has cast aside every single wedding tradition that’s important to us."
"Nice enough man" really tells you everything you need to know about this mom. Translation: "I hate my son-in-law's guts because he is trash from a garbage can, but I could get over that if my daughter would just make me the center of attention!" Bless her heart.
The mom is so upset about her daughter's nontraditional wedding that she is considering not attending.
From the sounds of it, Alexa is opting for a much more progressive approach to not just weddings, but marriage in general. She's not being walked down the aisle by her dad because she says "she’s not property to be given away."
She's also not having a reception beyond cake and champagne after the ceremony. The big white dress? Not so much, just a simple white one. She's not even wearing a diamond ring because of the abusive working conditions under which diamonds are mined.
And it all has her mother hoppin' mad. She told Dear Abby, "I understand that she watched her younger sister turn into a bridezilla," which seems a very revealing tidbit of information, "but her sister did have a gorgeous wedding that we paid for. We’re willing to pay for hers too, but she and her fiancé are refusing to do ANYthing we want."
Not being willing to be cowed by your money to bend to your will?! Perish the thought! Why, what is a boomer mother to do when throwing money at a problem won't even solve it! You really feel for this mom, don't you?
"Her father is ready to stay home rather than be ignored, and I’m not sure I want to be there either. How do we navigate this without alienating our daughter?" she dramatically asked before signing off, "RUINED WEDDING IN NEW YORK." My God, the drama….
Weddings are about the bride and groom and are nobody else's business.
There's really not much to be said here. Even Dear Abby herself couldn't muster more than a paragraph beginning with, "You and your husband navigate this by reminding yourselves that Alexa’s wedding is hers, not yours."
Which really hits at the heart of the thing because at the end of the day, this isn't even about the wedding. It's about control. As psychologist Dr. Bonnie Maslin put it to Glamour, "There's nothing like a wedding to bring up unresolved tensions in a family."
From the sounds of it, this mom has a pattern of controlling and manipulative behavior. Not only is she shocked that throwing money at the problem isn't solving it, but in her letter to Dear Abby she made every single aspect about her: how disappointed she is that she doesn't get to go wedding dress shopping, that there won't be a first dance, that none of her friends are invited, and on and on and on.
The subtext of it all, though, is that it's probably not about the wedding, but about her own insecurities. Alexa's refusal to conform to either her wishes or social conventions is challenging her control, and she's spinning out. As Dr. Maslin went on to say, "Good moments can also make people recall their not-so-good ones."
That's nobody's problem but her own. Dear Abby put the bottom line perfectly: "You have already had two weddings — your own and your younger daughter’s." That's enough for a lifetime. Chill out and go eat some wedding cake. Life is too short for this kind of drama.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
