Mom Puts Her Twin Daughters On A Diet When Only One Of Them Needs To Lose Weight — 'I Didn't Want Her To Feel Like She's The Only One Being Punished'
A healthy lifestyle is not exactly a punishment.
Imagesbybarbara / Canva Pro A mom recently took to Reddit to ask if she was wrong for putting her whole family on a healthier diet to help her "obese" daughter lose weight, but many felt her approach was flawed.
The mom put both her twin daughters on the same diet after one of them rapidly gained weight within the span of 7 years.
In the AITA post, the mom explained she has 14-year-old identical twins, who she referred to as Megan and Alana. They are both five feet tall, but Megan weighs over 150 pounds, and Alana weighs about 95.
The mom said the twins weighed the same until Megan began gaining some weight when they were 7 years old.
“When she was 11, Megan was considered medically overweight,” the mom wrote. “I went to a doctor for advice, and he said that I shouldn’t worry too much since a lot of kids gain weight right before puberty and then ‘balance out’ after their growth spurt.”
However, the doctor’s prediction was imprecise after the mom said her twins had a growth spurt last year. She said, “Megan’s weight has only increased since then, to the point where she’s actually obese. So I decided to implement a healthy diet for the entire family.”
The mom cut back on feeding her kids unhealthy and sugary junk food, instead cooking them “high volume, low-calorie meals” consisting of vegetables and proteins.
“Neither of the twins [is] very athletic, so I’ve also tried encouraging them to engage in physical activities, like swimming, bike riding, trampolining,” she added.
The mom didn’t appear to value the health of her family as much as she claimed.
“I tried putting emphasis on staying healthy instead of losing weight,” she expressed.
However, Alana instantly caught on to the motive behind this sudden lifestyle change, and she was less than pleased.
“[Alana] started complaining that it’s not fair that she also has to diet because her sister’s fat,” the mom explained. “I told her that I didn’t want Megan to feel singled out and feel as though she’s the only one being punished for her weight.”
While the mom’s intentions were certainly in the right place, the last statement of her post implied that she doesn’t truly want her family to be healthier. Rather, it was a ploy to disguise her attempts to help her daughter lose weight with a family detox.
In reality, the mom should prioritize healthier eating habits and routines to promote an empowering lifestyle for her whole family, regardless of weight.
If parents haven’t taught their kids moderation in consumption and the importance of physical activity from a young age, it’s understandable why a family might push back against the sudden change. While it’s never too late to opt for a healthier lifestyle, the mom seems more focused on getting her daughter to lose weight than genuinely teaching her whole family to care for their well-being.
It appears that she only began to consider the benefits of better nutrition and consistent physical activity once her daughter was already obese. If she had acted earlier in her twins’ lives, she likely could have avoided such an outcome.
Reddit users argued the mom needs to reshape her understanding of health.
Several Reddit users pointed out that the mom didn't appear to be taking this healthier lifestyle as seriously as she let on. While she did address her emphasis on being healthy rather than losing weight, some individuals felt her approach seemed ingenuine.
Rather than conveying the significance of health regardless of weight to Alana after she complained, the mom confessed to her subliminal efforts to help Megan lose weight.
“You have almost committed to this idea that health is valuable for everyone and isn’t a punishment, but then you don’t seem to really believe it,” one person commented. “You acknowledge your thin daughter doesn’t eat vegetables or exercise either, so she’s also not healthy; she’s just thin. Thin and healthy aren’t the same thing.”
“If you’re trying to trick your daughter into being thin by pretending to value health, you’re just going to foster an unhealthy relationship with food and her body,” the person added. “The more you lie, the more confused and messed up she’ll get.”
Other Reddit users blamed the mom for her lack of emphasis on health up to this point.
“Why didn't OP start gradually introducing a healthier diet 5 years ago, regardless of whether her daughter would thin out on her own, just because it would be HEALTHIER for everyone? Why aren't they both involved in SOME physical activity? ” someone argued.
It’s better to incorporate a healthier lifestyle later in life than never.
The mom may have missed the mark on raising her daughters to take care of their bodies through balanced meals and regular physical activity, but it’s never too late to change. She could have avoided a larger issue had she acted sooner, but she did more than other parents would do by identifying the solution and taking action.
As long as she understands this lifestyle adjustment is for the benefit of her entire family, she should continue her efforts to help both her daughters maintain a healthy lifestyle while recognizing that healthy does not equate to skinny. Rather, health is determined by one's level of focus and consistency toward their diet and activity.
“Require [your daughters] to do an activity they enjoy a few times a week, such as yoga, dance, weightlifting, or team sports, either with the town, YMCA, or the school. I wish I had done this as a kid; it would have helped me a lot,” someone shared. “I see now that teaching [kids] to be active is a huge part of raising healthy kids, especially in this screen-focused age.”
“You are the parent — you can require them to move and be honest about why. If they get no exercise, they are both unhealthy,” the person added.
The truth is, the mom doesn't need to hide her concerns from her daughters. Rather, she should be open and honest with them while remaining empathetic and taking necessary actions to benefit them both.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.