Mom Tells Her Pregnant Teen Daughter To Move Out Of Her House After She Decides To Quit College To Raise Her Baby
She claimed that if her daughter is old enough to keep the baby, then she's old enough to move out and support herself.
Nikodash / Shutterstock A mom questioned if she made the right move after putting her foot down upon learning her teenage daughter was pregnant.
Posting to the subreddit r/AITAH, she decided to choose the "tough love" route after hearing that she would soon become a grandmother.
She told her pregnant daughter to move out after she decided to drop out of college to raise her baby.
In her Reddit post, the mom explained that her 19-year-old daughter, Rose, had always done well in school and ended up receiving a full ride to an amazing college. She's been living with her mother while commuting to school and is doing extremely well.
However, a few months ago, her daughter ended up getting a boyfriend, who her mother did not like. She claimed he was always letting her daughter down but would cover it up with a smile and these grand, usually unkept, promises.
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Despite her warnings, Rose continued to date him and ended up pregnant.
"I offered to pay for the abortion and take a few days off work to take her and help her recover. She said no. She’s going to marry her boyfriend, and they’ll be one big happy family," she wrote.
"He wants to move into my house, and she’ll drop out of school while he works to support them. He’s a bartender who doesn’t go to college. I laughed at this idea, which made her mad."
Rose told her mom that since her boyfriend won't be allowed to move in, she'll need extra help with the baby and asked if she'd be willing to pitch in. Her mother disagreed and advised that she move out of the house entirely since she's grown enough to have a child of her own.
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She argued that if Rose was old enough to want to be a mother and get married, then she should be old enough to find a house and support herself and the baby.
The mom compromised, telling Rose she would buy diapers here and there and visit her in the new place.
"This baby is 0% my responsibility. If she chooses adoption, which I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t, I’d be willing to help her navigate that," she continued. "She won’t talk to me. My husband (her stepdad) is staying out of this but thinks I could help more. I told him he was welcome to go over and babysit for her, and that shut him up."
She assumed that because she'd been a teen mother once, her daughter's judgment was clouded.
The Redditor explained that she'd gotten pregnant with Rose at 19 and was married to her father, who was in the military. He eventually passed away, but while he was alive, they managed to make it work when it came to being parents at such a young age.
She believed that her relationship with Rose's father was "clouding" her daughter's judgment and that her boyfriend wasn't anywhere near the man Rose's father had been.
It's perfectly normal for parents to feel slighted and upset when their teenage children admit that they've gotten pregnant or are going to be parents. It's not the life any parent envisions for their child, but ultimately, how they respond to such news can shape their relationship with their child moving forward.
Pregnancy is often an incredibly vulnerable and isolating time for a woman, and insisting that her daughter may need to move out can further strain their relationship and harm her daughter's ability to access the support and resources she needs during this critical period of her life.
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She's already pregnant and probably knows that it isn't the most ideal situation. She can't suddenly become unpregnant, and her decision to keep the baby will come with hardships and obstacles, but more than ever, she needs support from her family.
It's an awful situation all around, but this mother should realize that choosing compassion and support will go a long way toward the relationship that she will have not only with her daughter in the future but with her grandchild as well.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.