Mom Admits To Feeling Like A 'Terrible Mother' Because She 'Cannot Stand' Her Destructive Special Needs Son
"I can’t live like this anymore."
SB Arts Media | Shutterstock Many people think that if you’re a parent, you should be willing to give up absolutely everything for your children. But what happens when you truly reach your breaking point?
A mom on Reddit confessed that she was there, begging for advice on how to handle the unsustainable situation with her 12-year-old special needs son.
The mom admitted that she feels like a 'terrible mother' because she 'cannot stand' her destructive special needs son.
“I feel like a terrible mother,” she began her post, “but I literally cannot stand my autistic child. Let me preface this by saying that he was our pride and joy from the day he was born until he was about six years old.”
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From a young age, her son had frequent intense tantrums, so the woman and her husband got him early intervention when he turned two years old. “We had every possible service you could ask for and then got him into special-ed preschool, then pre-k, then he started regular special-ed school,” she detailed.
As her son got older, his tantrums became more destructive and 'uncontrollable.'
“We’ve been kicked out of two condo complexes due to his tantrums and screaming and property damage,” she admitted. “His tantrums are literally uncontrollable.”
Now that her son is 12 years old and practically the same size as her, he has become even more difficult to handle. "He will flip furniture, put holes in the wall, break windows ... and electronics constantly. He hits every member of the family and refuses to even let me speak in his presence," the mom shared.
“About eight months ago, he punched me so hard in the face that I needed stitches on my eyebrow, my entire eye turned blood red and I had a bruise from the top of my forehead down to my chin for about three months,” she recalled.
The issue has become so significant that the mom simply cannot handle it anymore, especially with her 9-year-old child also in the house. She's previously had to call the police to restrain her son, brought him to emergency room psych services, and kept him in the hospital for three months.
Despite all of this, no one else seems particularly concerned about the situation.
Although this mom is very clearly at the end of her rope, no one else appears to be nearly as worried as she is. Her husband does not want to send their son to residential placement, admitting he feels "guilty about 'abandoning him.'"
"He’s completely checked out and honestly probably incredibly depressed," the woman wrote of her husband.
The school also said that her son's troubling behaviors are not frequent enough for them to recommend residential placement, "AKA, the district just isn't going to pay for it." Many online found this surprising since she also wrote that her son has concussed several school staff members.
It’s likely time for this family to look into residential treatment programs.
This is an incredibly difficult decision for any parent to make. It's not easy to send your child away, even if it's in their best interest. Yet, writing for Autism Parenting Magazine, Rachel Andersen explained that there comes a point when a child who has destructive tendencies can no longer stay at home.
According to Andersen, it’s time to look into residential treatment centers when a child poses a threat to themselves and to others. This could certainly be said of this woman’s son.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.