Mom Tearfully Admits She Feels An Immense Amount Of Guilt For Having To Go Back To Work 3 Months After Giving Birth
"I just don't feel ready, physically and mentally."
Natalia Deriabina | Shutterstock The only thing a new mom wants to do after giving birth is recover from the traumatic and emotional experience of growing a human being and pushing them out into the world. She wants to soak up the newborn bliss, get some much-needed rest, and adjust to this new chapter of her life.
Unfortunately, in America, there is no federal law requiring paid maternity leave, meaning many moms are forced back to work before they are ready. Such was the case for a new mom named Marissa Jeanne, who tearfully admitted that she's struggling with the reality of going back to work just mere months after having twins.
The mom tearfully admitted she feels immensely guilty for having to go back to work 3 months after giving birth.
"Today is my last day of maternity leave, and I go back to work tomorrow, and I feel like I haven't had enough time with them," Jeanne emotionally began in her video, holding her newborn twins in her arms as she spoke. "I know I got longer than a lot of women get with three months, but I just don't feel ready."
On average, working moms in the U.S. get around 10 weeks off — paid and unpaid combined — but it truly depends on where in the country you're located and the flexibility of the company you work for. While some companies offer more, others give new moms the bare minimum. Only an estimated 27% of employees have access to paid family leave, and most rely on the 12 weeks of unpaid leave offered under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA).
Jeanne explained that she didn't feel ready to return to work and leave her babies, both physically and mentally. She admitted that there was so much she thought she'd be able to accomplish during the leave that she wasn't able to.
The mom's sadness has nothing to do with her career.
"I think the hardest part is it's just such an abrupt change that you're with your babies all of the time, and then you pick them up from daycare and you might just get a few hours with them," Jeanne continued. "It's such an abrupt change, and it's really hard."
"I also love my career. I am proud of what I do," she added. "But there's always that mom guilt of you're not giving enough time to your kids. But you can't do it all. You can't give 100% to everything."
Unfortunately, this is a common feeling for many moms. Even if you are passionate about your job, having to resume work so quickly after giving birth is challenging. It's a reflection of how this country has failed parents, not how parents have failed their kids.
Most parents who return to work after leave find it hard to adjust to their new reality.
A study conducted by Parentaly surveyed nearly 3,000 moms across the U.S. about how supported they felt by their employers before, during, and after parental leave. The results were not encouraging.
For almost half of the women surveyed, returning to work was more challenging than they anticipated. Nearly three-quarters of respondents said that they didn’t have a sufficient re-onboarding plan to help them get back into the swing of things, and 45% said they felt that taking parental leave negatively impacted their career.
The survey also found that 71% of new parents returning to work struggled with balancing work with their personal lives.
Still, to all the other working moms out there, Jeanne shared one message: "You can't do it all, but you're doing the best that you can for your kids, and that's all that matters."
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
