Mom Explains Why She Sometimes Makes A Specific Meal For Dinner That No One Else In Her Family Likes
"The extra dishes are a small price to pay for feeling a little more like myself."
Yuganov Konstantin / Shutterstock In an effort to be the perfect parent, many guardians often end up sacrificing their own needs and desires. Particularly for mothers, who unhealthily (and often, inherently) adopt the most responsibility for their children, parenting can strip away at their personal identity, as they constantly put their own needs on the back burner.
Is it possible to be a fantastic parent while also prioritizing your relationship with yourself? The answer is simple: yes — but only if you make it a habit to do so. Content creator and mom @recipes.spot on TikTok recently admitted that she’s adamant about protecting her own identity and occasionally uses cooking to ensure she makes space for her preferences outside of those of her children.
The mom admitted that occasionally, she makes a specific meal that nobody else in her family enjoys.
“Tonight, I’m making a meal in my house that nobody else likes,” she started her video. “My kids will eat leftovers, and my husband will just tolerate it. Honestly, I don’t care.”
Being that this mom is often the one in her household responsible for cooking, she’s always asking everyone else what sounds good to them. But in an attempt to prioritize herself, she occasionally makes the purposeful decision to cook something that she truly enjoys, even if it’s something that her kids and husband don’t particularly like.
“One sneaky thing about being a mom is that if you’re not careful, you’ll start to forget that your preferences actually matter," she candidly admitted. "That when we cook for our families, our taste buds are worthy of consideration just as much as our kids are."
In our society, this is a common occurrence — especially for mothers who feel more pressure to be “the perfect parent” and sacrifice for their children. Mothers tend to put their energy into everyone else in their house, making sure they are happy, safe, fed, and taken care of. But if nobody else is doing the same for them, their needs are going to be ignored.
So, as this TikTok mom suggested, mothers must take this into their own hands. Advocate for your own interests and preferences. Build rituals and habits that promote your happiness and health. Even something as small as cooking one of your favorite meals can make a huge difference.
Photo: Dean Drobot / Shutterstock
“I know sometimes it feels like just one more thing, an extra hassle,” she said. “But I've come to realize that sometimes — not every night, but sometimes — the hassle is worth it. And the extra dishes are just a small price to pay for feeling a little bit more like myself in the midst of mom life.”
Many mothers online commiserated with this woman's plight, some finding inspiration to cook meals that they prefer.
“I haven’t made a meatloaf in over eight years,” one mom confessed in the comments. “I love it, but my husband doesn’t like it. I’m inspired to pull that recipe out again.”
"I needed this. Time to make goulash that only I eat," another mom wrote. "The fam can have nuggets."
This mom’s acknowledgment of her own likes, passions, and hobbies is an essential discourse to bring into the motherhood space — where many truly believe that the only way to be a “great mother” is to sacrifice yourself for your children. Of course, motherhood is incredibly demanding, emotionally draining, and difficult, but that doesn’t mean you must sacrifice your own needs.
“Sometimes, you just want the space to sit and be ‘you’ without having this extra extension of you, which I feel is what a baby is,” mother and mindset coach Hannah said on TikTok. “I felt guilty about saying that for a while … but it’s okay to need a break.”
In a world where so many women feel forced to adopt motherhood as their “one and only” identity, it’s important to recognize this discourse. It’s okay to take a “break” from being a mother to grab a coffee, see a friend, or indulge yourself with a new hobby.
To be a great mother and raise great children, it’s important that you have a healthy and prioritized relationship with yourself — one where you’re happy, fulfilled, and safe in your personal identity.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango, focusing on pop culture analysis and human interest stories.