Mom Explains How Kid Sports Are 'Ruining' Marriages — 'Parents Are Burnt Out & Exhausted'
"Everyone thinks their kid is the next Messi or Jeter."
RBFried | Canva Pro Ever wonder why most of the moms featured on “Dance Moms” were divorced or never had romantic partners? One sport mom may have a perfectly good explanation.
According to Abby Eckel, kids’ sports are harming marriages, draining bank accounts, and leaving kids as young as 7 with crippling anxiety and panic attacks. The mom took to social media to share her opinion on how the time and stress of youth sports are hurting family time and making everyone, kids included, miserable.
The mom warned that kids' sports are harmful to children and marriages.
Eckel didn't split hairs when it came to her views on youth sports and all the downsides that come with it. “I think kids’ sports are ruining families, marriages, and kids themselves,” Eckel explained.
She said she could “already feel the heat” coming through the phone from parents who live and breathe their kids' sports teams and wouldn’t want to spend their weekend any other way besides screaming at children on a field.
However, Eckel's personal experience of having her children on teams was one that she would never wish to repeat. “My son was in two sports in the spring, and we had something every single night of the week in terms of a practice, and then we had a practice or a game, and then we had games on the weekends as well,” she shared.
“We were exhausted. I never saw my husband, we never had actual time to connect, and we never had any good, intimate family time. Everybody was tired.”
The mom said the exhaustion of running around to different practices and games caused tension between everyone in her household.
The frustrated mom explained that they if her family waren’t rushing to a practice or a game, they were 'at each other’s throats.' While Eckel acknowledged that sports are good for kids, especially when they love the sport and their teammates, she argued that kids’ sports culture in the U.S. has grown out of control. Today, young children are expected to spend more time playing sports than their bodies can handle — mentally and physically.
“My kids are 6 and 9, and this level of competition and expectation we have of kids at this age… I think it’s detrimental. I think it’s harming more than it’s helping, and I sure don’t think it’s helping marriages,” she said.
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If a marriage is already on the rocks, the stress of your kids’ sports may just be the tipping point. “I don’t think burning yourselves to the ground running kids around every single night and every single weekend is the answer [to fixing your marriage],” Eckel insisted.
This mom is not the only parent who has a negative view of the impact youth sports has on families.
“I’ve been saying this for YEARS there’s no way competitive and travel sports are good for kids and families. Too much pressure, abusive coaches, and horrible injuries that they’re forced to play with!” one TikTok user commented.
“100% agree! And everyone thinks their kid is the next Messi or Jeter,” another user noted.
“I agree with this! Never again. Practices and workouts EVERY.SINGLE.DAY of the summer. Let these kids be kids!” another user wrote.
Youth sports teams can be a great way for kids to socialize with others, get themselves moving, and spark a lifelong passion for a particular sport. However, there are downsides that can hinder their overall growth and development.
It can be difficult for young children to balance all of the demands that come with being on a sports team in addition to school, other extracurricular activities, and time with their friends and family.
Parents need to recognize when it's time to scale back their children's sport schedules.
Research obtained by the National Library of Medicine found that after 14 hours of team practice, the well-being and overall mental health of young athletes began to decline.
They no longer have time to see their friends, go to bed at a decent hour, or even just enjoy a few moments to decompress when they are constantly being shuttled off to the next game or practice.
As Eckel noted, it is not just the kids who suffer. Youth sports takes a toll on their parents’ finances, routine, and emotional well-being.
In addition to spending thousands on uniforms and travel costs and barely having any quality family time, they are forced to deal with fellow parents who have made their child’s sports team involvement into a full-time career.
They pull whatever strings they can to get their child on the “A” team (while shunning parents whose children are on a team any lower), withhold their kid's much-needed downtime, and holler from the sidelines at children who are simply trying to have fun with their teammates.
When it comes to children’s sports, boundaries must be drawn between being on the team and personal life. A sport at such a young age should only be a chapter of one’s life — not the whole story.
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So, if you’re a parent of young children who are on sports teams, do yourself (and your kiddos) a favor and try to keep it just a fun activity to get them out of the house.
And there is nothing wrong with blowing off practice now and then by taking them for ice cream, letting them go to a playdate, or even just unwinding. The big leagues can wait, and your kids — and marriage — will thank you!
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.