Mom Decided Not To Buy Her Kids Any Christmas Gifts Because They ‘Acted Like Fools’ All Year
Some people believed that withholding gifts is poor parenting despite your children's behavior.
nelen | Shutterstock After a difficult year of raising her rebellious teens, one mom decided to cancel Christmas entirely. She hopes that her decision will instill a valuable lesson in her children and will get their behavior in check.
However, others have accused her of poor parenting, believing that there were other options to whip her kids into shape other than stripping them of their Christmas gifts.
A mom canceled Christmas for her kids after she claimed they ‘acted like fools’ all year.
On Christmas morning, the mom @aaryannna1 shared a TikTok video that showed her Christmas tree with not a single gift underneath it.
“Merry Christmas to my kids who get NOTHING this year. [They] acted like fools, got in trouble at school, lied to my face so many times, called me names and disrespected me,” she wrote in the text overlay of her video.
“So I decided not to buy them anything this year.”
While the mom insisted that she was teaching her 17 and 15-year-old kids an essential lesson on tough love, others were worried that she might be inflicting irreversible trauma onto them.
“This is a type of resentment and hurt that will live on for the rest of their lives. This will only make their behavior worse because they will never forgive or forget this,” one TikTok user commented.
“For me, Christmas is not negotiable, it’s a time to bond and share time and be happy together. This makes me sad,” another wrote.
“My parents weren't helping me with my depression, ADHD, and anxiety. They left it to me to deal with alone. I acted out. They pulled this on me and it solidified my feelings that I am truly alone. I am no contact with them now,” another shared.
While some were quick to point out that Christmas was not the time for discipline, the mom said that her lesson worked.
The day after Christmas, she reported that the kids cleaned their rooms, did their laundry, and put their clothes away.
She also shared one of her kid’s reactions to her withholding Christmas gifts due to their behavior, and thankfully, she didn't appear to be traumatized!
When the mom asked her teen daughter if she was mad that she did not get any gifts this year, the girl laughed, claiming that it was “not that serious.”
“Christmas is a made-up holiday to spread and promote consumerism and for people to spend more money,” the daughter said. She also added that she and her brother were both “broke” and wouldn’t want to buy or receive Christmas gifts anyway.
While the mother’s actions seemed cruel to other parents, we will never truly understand why she went to the measures she did unless we’ve walked a day in her shoes.
She is likely not the first parent to cancel Christmas because of her children’s behavior, and she will not be the last.
In a blog article published by Empowering Parents, Kim Abraham recalled the Christmas when her rebellious son turned 13, and she felt as if she had no choice but to show him that actions had consequences by withholding Christmas presents from him.
“Christmas is about giving. Not buying my son gifts was one of the toughest things I’d ever done as a parent. But the life lesson my oppositional defiant child had to learn — you are responsible for your behavior, and there are always consequences to your choices — was so much more valuable than the latest video game or cell phone,” the mom wrote.
Instead of buying her son Christmas presents, she paid to repair the hole he had punched in the wall just weeks before. After that Christmas, she said that he never punched another hole in the wall again, and his behavior improved dramatically.
“It took tremendous strength not to give in and buy him at least something for under the tree. He is my son. I wanted him to be happy, especially at Christmas. But more than that, I wanted him to grow into a responsible, law-abiding citizen,” she shared.
“Material things are lost over the years, but values and morals are the gifts of a lifetime.”
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A parent’s love should never be measured by how many Christmas gifts they buy for their children or if they buy any at all.
Sometimes, the best gift you can give your children is having a simple conversation with them. If they are having trouble with their behavior, talk to them about it. Explain how their actions have consequences, but most importantly, try to get to the root of what is really going on and why they are behaving the way they are.
They may just need you to hear them out and help them work through it. Focus on positive changes moving forward.
More than anything materialistic, kids need to have parents who love them and support them even when they are at their worst — especially around the holidays!
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.