Mom Defends Son After Grandma Berates Him For Crying Over Bread — 'This Stops With Me'
She refused to let her son go through the same emotional trauma she experienced throughout her childhood.
DimaBerlin / Shutterstock A mom is being praised online for the way she comforted her son after he was berated and reprimanded by his grandmother.
In a TikTok video, a content creator and child therapist shared her friend's story about an incident that happened between her son, his grandmother, and some bread.
The mom defended her son after he was berated by his grandma for crying over bread.
"My friend was at her parent's house for lunch. She accidentally cut her son's bread 'wrong' and he started crying," the post began. The little boy's mom immediately began validating his feelings, telling him that she understood why he was upset because he truly did not want his bread cut the way that she had.
However, once her son began to cry, he couldn't stop and ended up crying throughout the whole lunch. After having enough of his tears, the little boy's grandmother stood up and told him, "I will not tolerate this disrespect at my dinner table. Get a handle on your child."
Photo: pavla / Shutterstock
Then, she "angrily grabbed the boy's hand and pulled him into a nearby bedroom," slamming the door and leaving him in there to cry. When the boy's grandmother returned, she looked at her daughter and criticized her for using gentle parenting on her son. "You need to teach him some tough love," she claimed.
At that moment, the woman's entire childhood flashed before her eyes, and she immediately recognized the tone, anger, and spite that her mother had toward tears.
"At 33 years old, her knees still shook when she heard her mom talk in that tone. But, as she looked at her two other children's scared faces, she knew she had a choice to make. Either allow her kids to be treated this way or decide: 'This stops with me.'"
Without saying a word, the mom went to the room where her son was now bawling, sat on the floor with him, and engulfed him in a hug. She affirmed to him that he was safe and it was okay for him to cry.
She ended up reflecting on her son's behavior, acknowledging that it was a build-up of several things that resulted in his meltdown.
He had asked to play earlier in the day but she was busy, he'd wanted to finish breakfast earlier but they didn't have time, and he tried to listen to his favorite song in the car on the way over to his grandparent's house, but his younger sibling was screaming the entire way.
So, when his mom ended up cutting his bread "wrong," it was the final nail in the coffin for him emotionally. "He was hungry, overstimulated, and craving connection," she wrote.
The mom acknowledged that her son 'wasn't crying about the bread.'
The little boy's mom remembered being sent to her own room when she was his age just because she was crying at the table. As a little girl, she began learning how to hold in her tears to make her parents happy. Now, as an adult, she often shuts down to appease others, which is not something she wants her son to experience.
Photo: DimaBerlin / Shutterstock
"Kids struggle with their behavior because they are trying to communicate something." It's true. Children are not as equipt as adults to handle their emotions and control how they feel, so from a young age, they often revert to tantrums or crying to get across that they are upset.
Instead of making them feel bad, or invalidating their feelings, parents should allow their children to feel all of their emotions as that is the only way to truly teach regulation. Making a child feel small and worthless for crying over something that an adult deems unimportant does nothing but send a child further into an emotional tailspin.
The mother of this young boy did what many of us struggle to do — break generational trauma. She did the right thing by not allowing her mother to use the same inadequate tactics on her son.
As difficult as it may be, practicing patient parenting can make all the difference as a young child grows up and joins the adult world.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.