Mom Considers Divorcing Her Husband After She Claims Her Stepson Is A Liar Making False Accusations Against Her
“He’s putting my life and my kids' lives at risk and I’m not going to let him.”
Olena Chukhil / Shutterstock Stepparents face their fair share of drama as they integrate families with their partner — it’s a part of life. Sometimes, they build strong connections with their stepchildren and other times; it’s a bit more challenging.
One mom reached her wit’s end after her stepson continued to make false accusations against her, leading her to consider divorcing her husband to protect herself and her kids.
The mom expressed her concerns after her stepson repeatedly accused her of abusing him.
She took to Reddit’s r/parenting forum to explain the context of her stressful situation. She said she and her husband have been together for six years and married for five. She has one daughter, he has a daughter and a son, and they both have another boy together.
“My stepson, from the moment I met him at 2 years old, there was something off about him,” she shared. “He had a scream that could shatter glass. He had little to no empathy for others and he enjoyed causing others pain and would get this creepy joker-like smile when he’d do it.”
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She stated she “never liked" or "bonded with" the boy, who is now 8, and she accepted it until an incident occurred with the boy’s biological mom and stepdad a year and a half ago. During a visit for Christmas, the boy accused them of severe abuse and neglect. His mom said she wouldn’t come back for him again, and she took her daughter and left.
“At that point, I started to empathize with my stepson because I also had an abusive childhood,” she expressed. “I justified his previous behavior as acting out due to the abuse and neglect and that if I gave him enough love and attention, things would get better, and they did. Until last week.”
After an awful act of mischief, the mom decided to punish her stepson for the first time, leading to a series of unexpected events.
“My stepson thought it would be funny to urinate on almost everything in my daughter's room — her bed, her floor, her clothes, her toys,” the mom explained. “I’ve never seriously punished him before, but this was a breaking point for me.”
Naturally, discovering your stepson peed all over your daughter’s room would be a natural reason to be upset and issue consequences.
The mom disallowed him from attending his school’s end-of-year water balloon party and instead made him clean up his mess.
“He threw a massive tantrum (screaming, crying, throwing himself on the floor),” she wrote. “But I stuck to my guns, and he did not go, and he would not be ungrounded until the mess was cleaned up.”
Surely enough, he did as he was told and attended school the following day, but the Department of Children and Families soon showed up at her door.
Apparently, the boy had told his teacher that the reason he couldn't attend his class party was due to his stepmom hitting him with a belt and leaving bruise marks, which is a very serious accusation to make against a parent.
“That NEVER happened,” the mom affirmed. “He also told her I drowned him in a bathtub, which is EXACTLY what he told DCF about his mother and stepdad. He then told DCF that his dad also beats me daily.”
The mom started to piece everything together, ultimately concluding the boy may have antisocial personality disorder.
At first, she gave her stepson the benefit of the doubt, believing he was simply confusing his traumatic experiences. But as the boy continued to accuse his own dad of abusing him, when the mom noted no signs of this, she realized this was a behavioral pattern of his. His expression of vividly gruesome details and ability to ignore the rights and feelings of those around him, particularly his parents, were, from her perspective, symptoms of antisocial personality disorder, or ASPD.
ASPD is a mental health disorder that causes individuals to lack empathy and remorse and manipulate others for personal gain.
When the mom tried to come to her husband about her concerns, he called her paranoid, which she started to believe until another incident had her fuming.
She was running errands with her kids, including the boy, and getting preparations for her younger son's birthday party. While inside the dollar store, she said her stepson projectile vomited on her. After cleaning up, she needed to make one more stop at a bakery to pick up her preordered cake. Despite the boy choosing to wait in the car for the few minutes she went inside to grab the cake, she returned to a woman dialing 911 outside her car.
"When I come out, this woman starts yelling at me about leaving my stepson in the car, and when I told her it’s what he asked for, she told me he stopped her when she was walking by and said he was hot and thirsty and how I left him alone and he needed help," the mom wrote. "I wasn’t inside for more than five minutes ... I said some unkind things, and we left. I am completely furious."
Reddit users strongly advised the mom to consider getting an official diagnosis and therapy for the boy.
The mom is now contemplating leaving her husband altogether to protect herself and her family. She expressed her frustration with the situation after trying to be there for the boy.
"[He] is playing everyone for a fool, including me. I’m done. All of the empathy I felt in that moment evaporated, and ... I want nothing to do with him or his mind games anymore," she stated. "The only problem? I love my husband, but I don’t feel it’s morally right to ask him to choose between me and his son, and the only thing I can do is choose for him by eliminating myself from the situation and filing for divorce."
"My heart is broken, but I don’t see another way out of this," she continued. "I just hope one day he can forgive me."
Reddit users agreed the mom's feelings are valid in this concerning situation, as continuous calls to DCF and accusations of abuse can cause her to eventually lose her kids, even if only temporarily. However, the boy is clearly mentally unstable, and many Reddit users recommended she inform her husband of the events and consider seeking therapy for the boy.
"If he really does have antisocial personality disorder, he needs to go to therapy NOW. Children with this disorder can be helped, but intervention has to begin very early," one person suggested. "His behavior can be redirected and hopefully prevent him from ending up in jail in the future. If you are going to file for divorce anyway, might as well give it one last shot and give your husband this one last ultimatum."
The mom is certainly being put in a difficult situation, having to decide between her will to help and her safety and peace. But seeing as the boy is still at a very young age, there is hope to resolve his alarming behavior, which will only spiral into much worse conditions if ignored.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.