Mom Cancels Daughter's 4th Birthday Party Because Only 7 Kids Could Attend— 'The Room We Rented Was Gonna Look Empty'
Small celebrations are worth having, too.
Kristina Igumnova26 / Shutterstock Summer vacation holds immense promise for kids. A break from school means days spent playing outside, eating popsicles, running through sprinklers, and enjoying the freedom of childhood.
Yet kids who have summer birthdays often feel like something is missing, as one mom shared her experience planning a party for her little girl.
The mom canceled her daughter’s 4th birthday party because only 7 kids could attend, and she didn’t want the room they rented to ‘look empty.’
Tiffany Carter revealed why she’ll never throw her daughter a birthday party ever again, exclaiming, “If you are a mom of a child with a birthday in the summertime, let me save you some heartache.”
She justified her dramatic proclamation by centering her own emotions over her daughter’s special day, saying she had “basically been crying on and off all day because, of course, my mama heart breaks more than my 4-year-old child’s.”
Carter said that “no one is going to show up” to a birthday party over the summertime, which is a sad yet relatable truth about being born after the school year has ended.
Yuganov Konstantin / Shutterstock
She relayed the details of her birthday saga, saying, “I invited 16 kids to her birthday. That’s not including adults, families, whatever, etcetera, and seven were gonna show up. Of those seven, three of them were her neighbors, so of those seven, it was 3 three families. So, three adults were gonna be there, plus me and my husband. So, five adults.”
It could easily be said that having half of your intended guest list come to a party is a solid win, but this mom clearly saw the glass as half empty and made the executive decision to cancel her daughter’s celebration altogether.
She moved on from the mathematical portion of her explanation to the emotional fallout she felt, saying, “I know it’s not about adults, but it just… The room that we rented was gonna look empty.”
“It was going to look like no one came to her birthday,” Carter continued, really doubling down on what she deemed important: how the room looked versus whether her daughter was celebrated by the kids who did show up.
The mom showed that she cared more about the optics of her daughter’s party than how her daughter spent her birthday.
“The emptiness of that room, when everyone was going to be singing her ‘Happy Birthday,’ was going to break my heart,” she said tearfully.
“We have been going to birthdays for the last two months. Since the beginning of summer, there’s a lot of birthdays around us,” she said. “And the rooms are packed. They are full.”
“We don’t have family here, so when friends don’t show up, it’s noticeable,” she concluded. “I just did not want her little heart to see a room with not a lot of people, where when she goes to her friends’ parties, the rooms are packed.”
kai keisuke / Shutterstock
Of course, Carter is allowed to feel how she feels, yet the message she’s imparting to her daughter is a harmful one. By focusing on the number of kids at the party, she’s reinforcing a scarcity mentality instead of teaching her daughter to cherish the friendships she has.
“As much as we love her, and as much as we do for her, an empty birthday room hurts,” she declared.
“So, to save yourself some heartache, just don’t plan a birthday and take a trip. Take them somewhere special and do something for them,” she said.
Carter isn’t entirely wrong in her outlook: Having a summer birthday can be hard, especially as kids grow older. Yet there are ways to celebrate off-season, like noting the occasion at school before vacation starts.
Ultimately, it’s not about how many kids show up to a party that makes it memorable. It’s about a little girl feeling uplifted by the people who show up for her, rather than focusing on who doesn’t and taking joy in the moments that she has.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture, and all things to do with the entertainment industry.