Man Finds Out His Sister Passed Away After Reading His 'Boomer Father's' Facebook Post
He called his dad a "selfish attention seeker" who cared more about social media comments than alerting his family.
Antonio Guillem / Shutterstock A man got the shock of his life when he opened Facebook to discover that his sister had passed away.
While he was aware that she was in the hospital and her health had been deteriorating for several years, he could not help but feel hurt that he and the rest of his siblings had to learn through social media and that their father, who had been with his sister, failed to tell them before hopping on Facebook to post about her death.
The man feels hurt that his father announced his sister’s death on Facebook before reaching out to him personally to deliver the news.
Venting his sadness and frustration on the subreddit r/BoomersBeingFools, the man wrote, “He is responding to messages of sympathy but has neglected to actually reach out and tell me (and my other siblings) directly,” the man reported.
“None of us are fighting or not talking, so there is no reason not to tell us.”
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The heartbroken man believes that his father is a “selfish, entitled boomer who is more focused on getting attention on social media than he is on alerting his family members about his daughter’s passing and consoling them.
“I didn't know where else to vent and am not writing to seek sympathy; I just wanted to let it go without causing a family fight,” the man admitted.
Other people also found it odd and selfish that the man’s father did not tell him personally about his sister’s death.
“I am so sorry for your loss. It's absolutely wild how boomers complain about kids being addicted to their phones and social media while simultaneously clout-chasing/engagement farming harder than any of my contemporaries,” one Redditor commented.
“I can't believe that he would post it on Facebook before telling his family. My wife died in December, and I eventually posted it on Facebook once I had told everyone personally,” another user shared.
“I am so sorry for your loss. Boomers love to be the first ones to deliver bad (medical) news to anyone who will listen, even strangers or very loose associates. It's bizarre,” another user wrote.
When it comes to oversharing on social media, there's no real right or wrong.
Social media is a part of our lives. There's no getting around it. Unfortunately, some people choose to use it as a diary rather than to send birthday wishes and share funny cat videos.
But maybe oversharing isn't as sinister or narcissistic as many people believe. A study from 2018 found that people who had social anxiety were more likely to engage in oversharing, using Facebook and Instagram as an outlet for difficult emotions. What is most important to remember, however, is that what constitutes oversharing has changed drastically in just a short amount of time.
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A study from 2022 examined the oversharing phenomenon further and found that frequency was a factor in determining whether something was too personal to share or not. Basically, the more frequently a poster interacts with their online community, the less inhibited they are to share personal information. There's a catch, however. For those who share and engage frequently, that personal information seems completely normal, like talking to a friend one-on-one, but to anyone happier posting infrequently if at all, any personal information can be perceived as oversharing.
When it comes to a death in the family, immediate family members and close friends deserve a courtesy call and the chance to say goodbye if possible instead of opening social media one day and discovering that one of their loved ones is already gone. That seems like a good rule of thumb, but take a step back for a moment and consider the studies.
A father loses his child and doesn't know how to handle the weight and depth of those emotions and add to that the fact that boomers are not only facing their own mortality but the fact that their social circles and their support systems are much smaller than they once were. When looking at it from that perspective, the oversharing might not be as difficult to understand.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.