Man Asks If He's Wrong To Insist His Mom Pick A Different Birthday Dinner Restaurant Where His Pregnant Wife Can Eat
Why is it her job to bend her birthday to his wife's needs?
GoodLifeStudio | Canva Pro Pregnancy is no easy thing, and to some degree, it changes the lives of not just the person carrying the baby but pretty much everyone in her orbit.
But at some point, requests to accommodate a new mom's pregnancy start to cross a line, right? That seems to be what has happened for one pair of new parents on Reddit, and it's caused quite a conflict in the dad's family.
The son insisted his mom pick a different restaurant for her birthday dinner where his pregnant wife could eat.
Family outings are meant to be inclusive, of course, and most of us want to be able to have everyone we care about at our birthday dinner. But at the same time, what the birthday guy or gal says is usually what goes on their special day. Few would argue this is unreasonable.
Not this son and his wife, however. He wrote in his Reddit post that his wife had "a difficult pregnancy" that came up at a very bad time in his family in general — in the midst of his parents' divorce.
The end of her marriage put quite a damper on his mom's birthday, too. She didn't feel much like celebrating but said that a birthday dinner would be fine. That's where things began to fall apart.
His mom picked a sushi restaurant, and since pregnant women can't eat raw fish, he insisted she choose something else.
It surely didn't help that his mom and his wife don't have "the best relationship," but when his mom announced where she'd like to go for her birthday, his wife made a bit of a leap in her reaction. "My wife came to me and told me she felt like my mom did it on purpose, knowing she couldn't go," the dad explained. That seems a bit much.
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Despite feeling "awkward" about it, the dad brought it up with his mom and explained that his wife can't eat sushi, due to the recommendation that pregnant women avoid certain foods like raw fish.
His mom responded in the way most of us probably would. She told him, "'Well, when you are pregnant, you can eat rice.'" That didn't go over very well, and things immediately escalated.
His mom felt the request was totally out of line, especially since his wife could just order something else off the menu.
It's pretty hard to argue with this dude's mom. You can also eat noodles, spring rolls, dumplings, and all sorts of other things that are typically on the menu in a sushi restaurant. And according to Delish, it should be the birthday girl or boy's choice when it comes to where and what to eat on their special day. Sadly, things aren't as simple as they often should be.
The dad was instantly offended by his mom's response. "I asked if she seriously expected someone to eat plain rice as a meal," he wrote. "My mom said it wasn't my wife's birthday, so yeah, she could eat rice and eat something before or after."
Hilariously, this almost exact scenario was discussed in Bon Appetit regarding dinner parties and dietary restrictions, and the outlet actually suggested serving plain rice!
She didn't exactly respond in the kindest manner, but his mom had a point. Aside from the fact that sushi restaurants typically have far more than just fish and rice, from noodles and spring rolls to other Japanese dishes with fully cooked meat and fish, why should she have to adjust on her birthday?
He wouldn't relent, however, and his mom got "defensive" and insisted she should be allowed to pick what she wanted. His sister agreed he was out of line, and a year later, it's still a bone of contention between him, his mom, and her new boyfriend, who, upon hearing the story, lambasted him for the fuss he kicked up.
People online agreed that he and his wife were way out of line and making her pregnancy everyone's problem.
We've all met this kind of couple that seems to think everyone on Earth should be as concerned with their pregnancy as they are, and people on Reddit felt that's exactly what was happening here.
One mom described having had the type of pregnancy where multiple foods made her sick. "So you know what I did? I stayed home with the couch and remote," she wrote. Calling the couple "super dramatic," she went on to say the man's "wife has main character syndrome."
While some felt it was obvious that these two women were spoiling for a fight, the fact that his mom was in the midst of a harrowing divorce took precedence for most, especially given the details of abuse the man revealed in his comments.
He insisted, however, that his mom's divorce was "not my problem," seemingly unaware that the inverse is also true — his wife's pregnancy is not his mom's problem. His obliviousness led one commenter to tell him he had "the emotional depth of a wet washcloth."
What's obvious is that everyone in this scenario is hurting and reeling from all the various circumstances and lashing out in their ways. That's unfortunate, but it's human nature. It still doesn't give anyone an excuse to make demands on someone's birthday celebration, especially during such a difficult time.
The woman's life is collapsing. Let her eat her sushi in peace.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice, and human interest topics.