Man Upsets His Wife By Admitting That Being A Stay-At-Home-Father Is A 'Cakewalk' Compared To An Office Job
His positive experience doesn't negate the difficulties many stay-at-home moms deal with.
Tatiana Syrikova / Pexels Paying out of pocket for childcare is nearly impossible for many Americans. With rising costs and little wiggle room, many families have opted to have a one-income household, with one partner staying home to raise and take care of their children.
There's no denying that stay-at-home parents are essential pieces to any family, but not everyone will have such an easy time doing it. However, that wasn't the case for one man, who believed that a stay-at-home gig was a bit too easy.
A man admitted to his wife and her friends that being a stay-at-home dad was a 'cakewalk' compared to his former office jobs.
In a post on Reddit, he provided some context on the situation with his wife and their children, explaining that when they talked about wanting to start a family, they planned for her to be a stay-at-home mom while he continued working. However, she "didn't do too well being the stay-home and had a hard time with it."
Because they still wanted their children to be present at home with them, they switched places. After their second kid, and even up to now, he's been the stay-at-home dad and works reduced, remote hours at his job.
"For me personally, it's easier than any job I've had in the past, even the manual labor one, but I recognize that that's just my personal experience. We've touched base on the issue a few times to make sure there's no resentment, guilt, or discomfort on either of our parts," he explained.
Fast forward to a dinner that he and his wife were invited to by one of her friends from work, where one of the mothers (who struggled with being a stay-at-home mom) made an assumption on his behalf.
"My wife was talking about how she had disliked it and mentioned our arrangement, when one of the women said to me, 'Oh I know you're just itching to get back to having it easy,'" he wrote. "I responded that I already have it easy and that, for me, being a stay-at-home dad was a cakewalk compared to my office job."
His admission didn't sit well with his wife or her friends, as they thought he was making light of their experiences as stay-at-home mothers.
Upon admitting that he felt his job as a stay-at-home parent was easier than an office job, on the way home, his wife scolded him, asking why he hadn't just agreed for the sake of the conversation. But he said he "didn't see the point in agreeing with something that just isn't true" for him.
The next day, his wife came home, mocked him by asking if he had "another easy peasy day," and explained that the women at work talked about how smug he was. The man said he believed they may have felt like he was making light of their personal experiences as stay-at-home mothers, but he was unsure if he actually did or said anything wrong.
Gustavo Fring / Pexels
Commenters voted that he wasn't in the wrong, pointing out that the woman's initial assumption could have been insulting in and of itself, playing into the stereotype that men find childcare and home care difficult or unfulfilling, and would rather leave it up to the women in their lives.
The man simply said that he, personally, found staying home with the kids easier than jobs he had performed in the past, and that he shouldn't have to lie about his own experience simply because others might interpret it the wrong way.
While this father may find being a stay-at-home parent easy, it's certainly not that way for everyone.
It's a good thing for both this father and his kids that he enjoys being home full-time. In fact, studies have found that there are incredible benefits for families and children when they have a stay-at-home parent.
Some of those benefits include lower stress levels for kids, better academic performance, fewer behavioral problems due to being in childcare, and lower childcare-related expenses. Unfortunately, stay-at-home parents may often find their physical or mental health suffering as a result of long, drawn-out days, particularly stay-at-home moms.
However, that doesn't negate the fact that some parents do enjoy being home. And, in this husband's case, it appears he takes on many responsibilities that fall on the "default parent" or primary caretaker, including making appointments, grocery shopping, taking care of school-related items, and, overall, making sure things run smoothly.
So, being a stay-at-home parent is certainly no easy feat, as many mothers can attest to. It's a thankless job that involves seemingly endless hours of unpaid work. And if it's a job that's not enjoyable or too stressful, it's no wonder many stay-at-home mothers find themselves struggling.
While it's a great thing that this dad truly enjoys being home and looking after his kids, it wouldn't hurt to acknowledge the struggle many at-home mothers go through.
Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.