Male Teacher Says Students Without Fathers Ask Him To Marry Their Moms
His students' innocent proposals prove just how much of a problem absent fathers really are.
Monkey Business Images / Shutterstock A father or father figure is important in any kid’s life. Unfortunately, so many don’t have that. This can lead those kids to desperately look elsewhere for that paternal person.
Some, apparently, look to their teachers.
One male teacher said that his fatherless students have asked him to marry their moms.
A teacher on Reddit asked for help from other male teachers after experiencing scenes in his school that he described as “heartbreaking.”
“I’ve had a lot of boy students try to convince me to marry their moms, and it is absolutely heartbreaking to me,” he said.
The teacher provided an example of the kind of their proposals: “‘Mr. H, my mom is the best cook you’ve ever met. You should come over, and she’ll cook dinner for you. I know you’ll fall in love with my mom! She’s amazing.’”
“This, to me, is the most heartbreaking part of my job,” he shared.
Mr. H made it clear that he understands the gravity of these situations.
“I end up with fifth graders who are going to move on to middle school, and their final request is that I marry their mom because they don’t have dads and are asking me very, very honestly to accept their request to be their father or ask their moms on dates,” he explained.
The teacher wanted readers to understand that these are not just comments made in jest. These students are serious.
“I’m talking about teary eye filled children,” he said. “This breaks me every time.”
Commenters shared sympathy and similar experiences with the man.
Other Reddit users who commented on the post responded with kindness and understanding.
“That’s really sad,” one person said. “These kids miss having a father figure in their lives, and a teacher is usually one to fill it.”
“I had quite a few 6-8th grade girls and boys try to hook me up with their moms when I was single,” another said. “I felt the same, felt bad for the students. I also took it as a sign that I was a somewhat decent teacher too — at least as far as providing a stable and positive male influence.”
A third person said, “I teach [kindergarten] and have occasionally had kids say things like, ‘I wish you were my dad.’ It is a tough one. They know I am married with kids, so I usually make a joke: ‘You should ask my kids before you wish that … they’d tell you what a nag I am!’”
Statistics about the absence of fathers are concerning.
Absent fathers are a big problem for kids growing up today.
The National Fatherhood Initiative summarized findings from the U.S. Census Bureau stating, “17.8 million children, nearly 1 in 4, live without a biological, step or adoptive father in the home.”
“That’s enough children to fill New York City twice or Los Angeles four times over,” they continued. “Research shows that a father’s absence affects children in numerous unfortunate ways, while a father’s presence makes a positive difference in the lives of both children and mothers.”
The National Center for Fathering shared a similar sentiment. “If it were classified as a disease, fatherlessness would be an epidemic worthy of attention as a national emergency.”
Clearly, the absence of fathers is a major issue in society. It leads hurting children who are fatherless to ask if their teachers can fill the void.
As some commenters pointed out, this underscores the importance of teachers. If a child trusts and cares for a teacher enough to want him to be their dad, that teacher is definitely doing something right.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.