Husband Tells His Wife To 'Send Back' The 50K Her Sister Sent After Learning They Were 'Struggling'
While his sister-in-law was just trying to help, he felt that she was overpowering him as the provider of the family.
Ground Picture / Shutterstock With the state of the economy, many current and expectant parents are struggling to get by. Children are expensive, jobs are scarce, and inflation is the proverbial cherry on top.
One man shared on Reddit that he and his pregnant wife have experienced this firsthand as they've been struggling financially — at least until his sister-in-law gave his wife a large sum of money to help. The man, however, was not grateful for her generosity. Rather, he saw her actions as a direct attack and demanded his wife return the money.
The man insisted that his sister-in-law take back the $50,000 she sent to his wife after learning that they were struggling.
Sharing his story to the subreddit, r/AITAH, the 35-year-old man revealed that things have been tough for his family the last few months. He lost his job and his 26-year-old pregnant wife had no choice but to quit hers after suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum, a condition that causes severe morning sickness.
“We’ve used up our savings and currently are living off our credit cards but I’ve got a job lined up starting in March,” the man wrote.
He shared that his wife is extremely close to her 31-year-old sister, and recently began opening up to her about their financial situation.
“Her sister has never liked me but has always been polite to me,” the man wrote. “She has always kept me at arm's length despite my attempts at trying to foster a warmer relationship.”
While he was out of the house, his sister-in-law paid a visit to his home and was horrified by the conditions and the lack of baby supplies, particularly because the would-be nursery was "bare bones."
“When I arrived back home she had given me a lecture on taking better care of her sister and scolded me for not getting ready for the baby,” he wrote. “The next day she came back and she had bought things for the house and the baby.”
His sister-in-law's generosity didn't stop there. The man’s wife had also told her sister that they had to sell her car to make ends meet, and the very next day, his sister-in-law pulled up in a new car for them. But the straw that broke the camel’s back came after the man learned that his sister-in-law had sent his wife $50,000 with the following message:
“This is your money and your baby’s. Do not use it on that man. If you need more tell me and I’ll send more. And remember wherever I am there’s a home for you.”
The man claimed that his sister-in-law was attempting to make him 'look like a failure.'
When he expressed this to his wife, it sparked an intense argument between the two.
“My wife and I argued and in a fit of anger my wife said that I only feel like a failure because I’ve been failing,” he shared. “She has apologized since but I still stand by telling her to return everything as I feel like accepting her sister’s so-called generosity is a way to manipulate my wife into thinking I’m a bad husband,” the man continued.
He is now wondering if his request to return the money was justified.
Many people online believed that the man was in the wrong and that he needed to put his insecurities aside for the sake of his family.
"What sort of a husband are you if you want your wife to be without a safety net for her and your child just because it bruises your ego that you cannot support them well enough?" one Redditor questioned. “I understand that losing your job can be difficult, but you know what is more difficult? Being pregnant and expecting a child without any sort of financial security.”
"You are literally putting yourself a priority over your pregnant wife and future child," the user continued. "She is not manipulating your wife into thinking you are a bad husband, you are acting like one."
“Time to put your ego aside and accept help, because you NEED it. The sister is helping her family, not trying to make you look bad,” another user wrote.
The concept of men feeling as if they have to be the sole ones providing for their families is rooted in the traditional expectations of men in society.
When someone else offers to help, they may take it as an attack on their masculinity, and view the helping hand as a threat rather than a kind gesture.
However, if the man truly wants to provide for his family he must be willing to accept help from time to time. It is something that his wife and child will only thank him for later rather than viewing him as less of a man.
The Reddit poster seemed to come to that conclusion, as he added an update to his post: "I’ll apologize to my wife and sister-in-law. It hurt but thank you for the brutal feedback!"
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.